Lady Umm Salamah
The Prophet's Wise Wife: Lady Umm
Salamah
When You Shine Through Tears
When life lets you down, it doesn't take long
till you find someone reaching out for you.
till you find someone reaching out for you.
Umm Salamah, whose name was Hind bint Abu Umayyah ibn Al-Mugheerah,
was a woman who combined beauty with character, noble birth and a wealth of experience.
Her deceased husband was one of the early converts to the
new faith when Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) began preaching his message
in secret.
Both Umm Salamah and her husband, Abdullah ibn Abd
Al-Asad, were among the very early Muslims. Her husband was a cousin of Prophet
Muhammad (peace be upon him). His mother was Arwa bint Abd Al-Muttalib, the
Prophet's paternal aunt. Both husband and wife were in the first batch of
Muslim immigrants to Abyssinia.
Being a woman of sagacious mind, she joined him in
declaring her belief in Islam, realizing that idolatry is an absurdity, which
defies human logic. Her father was a man who earned great honor in his own
right.
He was given the nickname Zad Al-Rakb, which means the
"provider for all travellers." When he went on a trip, he would not
allow anyone who joined his caravan to take any food with him. He provided all
the food necessary for them all. His generosity and hospitality was of the
highest order.
It is well known that the Prophet first preached his
message in secret for three years. When he later went public, he met very
strong opposition. In the fifth year of his message, the Prophet advised a
section of his followers to immigrate to Abyssinia.
All sources recording the events of the Prophet's life
treat this immigration as one of weak and vulnerable elements fleeing from
persecution. The fact that Abu Salamah and his wife were among the first to
immigrate, and that most immigrants belonged to distinguished families who
enjoyed influential positions in Makkah disproves this claim.
These were people who feared no physical or mental
persecution. They could easily defend themselves and their clans were certain
to come to their support. The immigration to Abyssinia had a different goal.
The Prophet wanted his Companions to leave Makkah and go
to Abyssinia for two objectives. The first was reducing tension in Makkah,
where the unbelievers began to view his new faith as a threat to their
established way of life.
The second was to demonstrate the universal nature of
Islam by establishing a new base for it in a totally different social
environment. The immigrants returned at different times, some staying only a
few months while those who were the last to return spent no less than 15 years
in Abyssinia.
We cannot pinpoint a date when Umm Salamah and her husband
returned from Abyssinia, but their stay did not last more than three or four
years. Their first son, Salamah, was born there.
They returned in order to be with the Prophet
supporting him in his struggle
supporting him in his struggle
They returned in order to be with the Prophet supporting
him in his struggle to make the divine message known to people and call on them
to believe in God and accept Islam.
Yet the hostility of the people of Makkah grew more fierce
and determined. They ridiculed the Prophet and his teachings. They suppressed
the new faith; prevented travelers who visited Makkah from meeting the Prophet
or listening to him; tortured the weaker elements in the Muslim community;
brought various types of pressure to bear on Muslims of noble descent; imposed
a social boycott of all those who lent tribal support to the Prophet and even
plotted to kill him.
The Prophet, however, continued his efforts undeterred by
the strong opposition he encountered.
Ultimately, the message of Islam began to find a new home
in Yathrib, which was later to be known as Madinah. New recruits were won every
day and almost every family in Madinah found one or more of its members
declaring their belief in Islam.
Within two years, the Muslims of Madinah felt that they
could no longer allow the Prophet and their brethren in Makkah to continue to
face all that hostility.
Therefore, they invited them to come over to them where
they would have the most welcoming reception. The Prophet accepted the pledge
of total support given by the Muslims of Madinah, and he told his companions in
Makkah to start their exodus.
Umm Salamah politely and gently rejected them all.
The immigration of Umm Salamah and her husband took place,
but her husband died shortly after it.
Such a woman would not stay unmarried for long. The fact
that she had four children, one of them was still newly born, was no hindrance
in the Arabian society, which accepted polygamy as normal.
Hence, when her waiting period of four months and ten days
was over, a succession of suitors sent their proposals. These included Abu Bakr
and Umar, but Umm Salamah politely and gently rejected them all. She had lost a
husband of great character, whom she dearly loved.
She reports that her husband had told her of a hadith
he heard the Prophet stating:
"Whoever meets a misfortune should resort to what God
has ordered in such cases, saying, 'We all belong to God and to Him we all
return. My Lord! Grant me support in my misfortune and compensate me with
something better.'
"If he does so, God will certainly give him support
and is sure to give him better compensation."
Continuing her report, she said:
"When my husband died, I frequently said this prayer.
Then I thought who could be better for me than Abu Salamah? Yet I hoped that
God would give me support to bear my loss." (Muslim, 28)
A different report mentions that before his death, her
husband said this prayer: "My Lord! When I have died, give Umm Salamah a
man who is better than me, who would take care of her and give her nothing to
upset her or cause her grief."
When Umm Salamah's husband died, she wondered who could be
better than him.
Yet this is exactly what happened to Umm Salamah. After
rejecting a succession of suitors, she received an offer of marriage no Muslim
woman could refuse. It was the Prophet who wanted her to join his household as
a new wife.
Recognizing the great honor such a marriage would give
her, she was delighted. Yet at the same time she felt reluctant. She sent him
word saying: "I am too jealous, and old, and I am mother of several
children."
It was an answer that meant no refusal, but provided
grounds for the Prophet not to proceed with his proposal. The Prophet sent her
a kind reply saying: "God may take away your jealousy. As for your age, I am
older than you. And you may entrust your children to God and His
Messenger."
Who could take better care of any widow's children than
God? Who could be a better stepfather than God's Messenger? Hence, the marriage
was soon celebrated and Umm Salamah realized that God had compensated her with
a husband who was much better than her first husband, great indeed as Abu
Salamah was.
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