ROADS AWAY FROM PORN
by Salman Pasha
THE RELAPSE
“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin
again, this time more intelligently.”
Henry Ford
The Relapse or phase one of a porn addict’s life starts when he goes back to his old ways of watching porn and masturbating. He would have gone without porn for days, weeks or even months but he is back to square one. He would have thought, seen or done something which would trigger his addiction and he slips back to his old ways and ends up binging on porn and masturbation. He is filled with shame, guilt, and hopelessness. But he will not stay in this state for long. Once he has binged enough on porn, he decides to quit porn forever, which he has done countless times before. He knows that “forever” is just around the corner, it may be a day, a week or a month away and he will be back to porn again. But he has decided to quit porn and has made decisions and arrangements to keep on track. He might delete his porn collection if he has any, he might install porn blockers on his phone and PC, he might shift his computer to the living room where everyone can see what he is browsing, he might start an exercise plan, starts a hobby, joins a club, etc.
Relapse is the time when an addict knows every reason on earth to quit porn and get his life back on track. So, it is the best time to write down his goals and all the reason why he wants to quit porn. And the techniques which follow will help you do just that. But before that, let me give you something very controversial. Controversial for those who think masturbation is good.
Just keep an open mind and read the following. If you get the point I am trying to make here, great. If not, don’t worry, the techniques in the book will still work for you.
Have you ever wondered why quitting porn can help you to succeed in life?
Before I tell you how quitting porn can help you to succeed in life, keep the following statements in mind.
• Our body needs the energy to maintain all the necessary bodily functions, and we get the required energy from the food we eat.
• In Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (which is a theory in psychology proposed by Abraham Maslow in his 1943 paper “A Theory of Human Motivation” in Psychological Review), the most fundamental need for human beings, after breathing and food is –SEX.
• Where awareness goes, energy flows.
• A full sperm regeneration cycle (called spermatogenesis) takes about 64 days. This entire process from production to ejaculation of mature spermatozoa takes, on average, 64 days to complete.
Just keep the above statements in mind while we discuss the inverse relationship between porn and successful life. Where porn is inversely proportional to success in life. The more porn, the less success in life.
Now, let me tell you how “Quitting Porn can help you succeed in life”.
From Point Number 1 – Our body needs the energy to perform bodily functions, to build, maintain and repair itself. And we get this required energy from the food we eat. The food we eat is converted into anything and everything our body requires to function properly. It is used to create the blood, bone, flesh, enzymes and a host of other things.
From Point Number 2 – Our brain is wired such that it channels all the body’s resources towards fulfilling the basic needs first, which are survival, search for food and fulfilling the need for sex.
So, once you are safe (at a safe place, with privacy preferably), and once your stomach is full, your brain moves towards fulfilling the need for sex. (That is why the privacy and a full stomach is always a detriment to your porn free journey. Be in a public place and be slightly hungry all the time and you will see how easy it is to quit porn. This will be covered in “Hanging out with Hunger” technique which we will discuss later. Let’s get back to our discussion.)
Once the basic needs are met, your brain channels the remaining energy and resources towards other things. And one important thing you need to remember here is that “Where awareness goes, energy flows”. That is, whatever you think about most of the time, your energy and resources flow to that thing, towards achieving that thing, towards doing that thing.
From Point Number 3 – If most of the time you are aware of your horniness, your raging erections every morning, your need to have sex, your need to get a release, then all the energy and resources (after fulfilling the basic needs) is channeled towards getting a release.
From Point Number 4 – Since sex is a basic physiological need, your body gives a large chunk of available energy to prepare you for mating, to procreate. It takes a very large amount of available energy and resources to create semen. A full sperm regeneration cycle (called spermatogenesis) takes about 64 days. This entire process from production to ejaculation of mature spermatozoa takes, on average, 64 days to complete.
If every other day you are ejaculating, your body will keep channeling a large chunk of available resources and energy towards producing sperms to keep you ready for mating. The energy and resources which could be used in other areas of your life, like getting that project completed, learning a new skill, getting that dream job or improving yourself.
If you keep watching porn and masturbating, you will always be low on energy because you are wasting your energy and resources for a momentary pleasure.
On the other hand, if you stop watching porn and masturbating, you will not tax your body in producing the semen again and again and again. And this extra energy can be channeled towards other productive things. This channeling of energy into other productive things is called “Sexual Energy Transmutation“ which is one of the many techniques you will find in this book to quit porn.
For now, I would suggest you write down all the negatives affects you have seen in your life due to your porn addiction. And to help you do that, I have listed a few of the drawbacks faced by porn addicts here.
to be continued . . .
