Porn Addiction Relapse & Recognizing Triggers

Top 5 Causes of Addiction Relapse

There are a million reasons why someone relapses, but addiction specialists agree that avoiding triggers-the situations and emotions that make drugs attractive-is half the battle. According to Elizabeth Hartney, a leading addiction specialist, the top 5 reasons that those struggling with addiction relapse are:

1. Stress: Stress is one of the top causes of relapse. While one can’t avoid all forms of stress, making lifestyle, relationship, and priority changes can help the recovering addict to avoid situations that spark tension and other negative emotions associated with relapse.
2. People or Places Connected to the Addictive Behavior: Being around people and places associated with one’s addiction can often push a person to relapse. For example, going back to a favorite bar may tempt an individual to pick up the bottle again. It’s better to avoid these temptations, especially in the early phases of recovery.
3. Negative or Challenging Emotions: While negative emotions are a normal part of life, those struggling with addiction often cite frustration, anger, anxiety, and loneliness, as triggers for relapse. Therefore, usually as a part of therapy, it’s essential to develop effective ways of managing, these feelings.
4. Seeing or Sensing the Object of Your Addiction: In recovery, even a slight reminder of the object of the addiction, such as seeing a portrayal of addictive behavior on television, can lead to relapse. While it is impossible to avoid such reminders forever, developing skills for managing any urges or cravings can aid in preventing relapse.
5. Times of Celebration: Most situations that can trigger relapse are perceived as negative. However, sometimes positive situations such as times of celebration, where alcohol or drugs are present, are just as risky. Avoiding such events or bringing along a trusted friend can assist in preventing relapse.

While relapse may happen for some and not others, it’s important to remember that relapse does not mean failure. Recovering from addiction is a life-long process of hard work and dedication to one’s program and recovery path.

Recognizing Triggers

An easy way to look at triggers is to think of them as synonymous with temptation. While you may not always be able to control whether you experience a trigger or a tempting thought, you do have power over whether you succumb to them. In other words, just because you’re tempted to do something you know is bad for your sobriety doesn’t mean you’ll blindly follow through on the urge. Learning to trust your ability to say no and surrounding yourself with people and situations that support you help to build the “muscle” of sobriety.

Triggers can include people, places and things; in general, anything that you associate with substance abuse and/or the compulsive behavior can be a trigger. This can include seeing or hearing something on TV about drinking or gambling; the sound of ice cubes hitting a glass as a family member gets ready to pour a refreshing soda; the smell of pot at a public venue; being around too many people, or being alone; not taking your medication and many, many more sights, smells, sounds, tastes, words, music — the list of possible triggers can seem endless sometimes.

Many self-help support groups use the acronym “H.A.L.T.” to describe certain triggers. The letters stand for Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired; for many, these are common situations that make it more likely you’ll use or drink.

What serves as a trigger for you may be completely different for someone else. However, these are some common triggers, according to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.

• The anniversary dates of losses or trauma
• Frightening news events
• Too much to do; feeling overwhelmed
• Family friction
• The end of a relationship
• Spending too much time alone
• Being judged, criticized, teased or put down
• Financial problems; getting a big bill
• Physical illness
• Sexual harassment
• Being yelled at
• Aggressive-sounding noises or exposure to anything that makes you feel uncomfortable
• Being around someone who has treated you badly
• Certain smells, tastes or noises that remind you of your drug of choice

Once you’ve learned to identify your triggers, you can take the proper steps to deal with them effectively. For some, it helps to keep a list of coping techniques that have worked in the past — such as going for a run, calling a close friend or your sponsor, or “urge surfing”(imagine yourself as a surfer who will ride the urge, staying on top of it until it crests, breaks and turns into less powerful, foamy surf) — along with how you felt after afterward. For example, remembering the good feeling of exhaustion and inner quiet after a long run, or the sense of pride and power you felt after riding out the urge. It’s also important to keep a list of people you can call if triggers become overwhelming. That human connection in the moment may be enough to give you the support and encouragement you need to get through without giving in to the trigger.

And remember to share what you’ve learned with others in self-help support groups or group therapy. There’s great collective wisdom in the rooms of recovery and many opportunities to provide and receive suggestions for excellent coping techniques for triggers.

Signs You’re About to Relapse

 

How do I know if I’m slipping? If you’re asking yourself this question, it could be that you already suspect your recovery might be in jeopardy. Or you might just be a bit cautious. Either way, knowing the signs of relapse can give you the time to take proactive steps to avoid slipping back into using.
Here are 10 common signs of an impending relapse; you don’t need to experience all of them to be at risk. For some, a single trigger can signal relapse is on the way. The key is learning how to recognize the warnings and reaching out for support at the first sign of trouble.

10 Warning Signs of Relapse

1. Negative thinking. You find yourself regarding daily life as bleak and the tasks you need to do as burdensome. You feel like you have a great weight on your shoulders. Increasing feelings of hopelessness or negativity should alert you that you could be in danger of relapsing.
2. Easily angered or annoyed. It’s as if your nerves are on hair-trigger sensitive. You become mad, even furious, often without warning and increasingly over small things. This isn’t like you, but you can’t seem to pull out of it. Getting into arguments with loved ones and family members more frequently is another clear sign that you could be on the verge of relapse.
3. Complacency or overconfidence. After being in recovery for a while, it starts to seem like you’ve got it all down. You know what to do and begin to feel like you can handle any situation. As a result, you may let some of your regular recovery to-do items slide, for example, attending 12-step meetings or practicing self-care habits like healthy eating or exercising. If you find yourself becoming complacent or overly confident about your sobriety, you may need to reassess and reinvest in your recovery program.
4. Increased stress. Without the comfortable crutch of alcohol, drugs or a problematic behavior to smooth over daily aggravations or unexpected situations, you may find your stress level is at the breaking point. Worries about finances, performance at work and how your recovery may be affecting your loved ones can all take a dramatic toll, wearing you down and increasing the likelihood of relapse.
5. Skipping meetings. Not everyone needs to attend self-help support group meetings as part of their recovery. But if you’ve been in recovery for a period of time and you have found meetings helpful, after a while it may begin to seem tedious and unnecessary to keep going. Maybe you feel that you don’t need the regularity of meetings to keep you on course and that you’re perfectly fine on your own. That may in fact be true, but it’s worth paying attention to this tendency, as some may find it’s a short distance from cutting back or skipping recovery meetings to sliding into relapse.
6. Putting yourself in risky situations. If you find that you’re going back to your old haunts and hanging out with friends you used to use with, that’s a precarious situation — and one likely full of old triggers. So guard against thoughts of revisiting the people, places and things you associate with using.
7. Denial. Questioning whether you ever really had a problem or denying to others that you have a problem are both signs that you could be in danger of relapse. If others notice and comment on a difference in you, yet you continue to insist that you’re on top of your recovery, it may be time to slow down and reflect before you slip back into addictive patterns.
8. Isolation. Holing up in the house, refusing to see friends and keeping your distance from family members are troublesome signs of relapse. When you’re in recovery, you need sober, supportive people in your life who reinforce this positive path you’re taking. If you feel depressed, disheartened or angry or alone, instead of sitting home and feeling miserable, get out and surround yourself with people (or at least one person) you trust and with whom you can share some time, even if you’re not ready to open up about how you’re feeling.
9. Loss of interest in family, friends and activities. When problems start to mount and you feel like everything’s about to come crashing down on you, you may notice in yourself a tendency to withdraw from people and activities you once enjoyed. To safeguard your hard-won recovery, it’s important to talk about what’s bothering you, either with a trusted loved one, your sponsor, your therapist or counselor or a member of the clergy.
10. Losing hope. When life looks completely black and you feel a sense of hopelessness and despair, this is a critical warning sign of impending relapse. Take such feelings seriously and get help right away.

 Source: Internet

 

Lady Khadijah … The Unsung Heroine - Prophet Muhammad's Wives

Prophet Muhammad's Wives

Lady Khadijah … The Unsung Heroine

The simplicity of Khadijah's example is something that cannot pass unnoticed not only by Muslim women but by non-Muslims as well.

Lady Khadijah is a woman who we have many fruitful lessons to learn from. There are different aspects of her character that each need a multivolume book to write, let alone a small article.

Her life was rich with moral lessons from which today's husbands and wives irrespective of their race, faith and geographical locations are in dire need to adopt and embrace. Her life before adopting Islam was also an exemplar to follow and her lifestyle was of that kind women in the 21st century ought to imitate.

Her upright character made the people of her clan call her at-Tahirah; an Arabic adjective meaning the 'chaste' or the 'pure'. Her morals as a widow were much more admired by the men of her clan, and her business was the talk of the town.

Admirable Business woman

Khadijah was a highly respectable business woman in her clan. She was a very wealthy lady, and all the people of her clan were keen to marry her because of her family status and thriving business; a fact she was clever enough to realize, and hence she never succumbed to their material wishes.

In other words, she was wise enough to know her qualities and hence was better able to choose her suitable match away from any clannish pressure. Due to her inability as a single woman to travel long distances on her own in the desert trading in her properties, Khadijah used to hire men from her clan to trade in her business and to travel with her trading caravans to the Levant; purchasing and selling different commodities.

At that time, Muhammad (peace be upon him) was known for his honesty and truthfulness among the whole clan, and these good manners were the main reasons behind Khadijah's decision to hire him to trade in her business, and later on to choose him as a husband and a soul mate.

Indeed, the thriving business of lady Khadijah and her strategic planning in hiring the right man to trade in her business is an eternal lesson from which modern women ought to imitate in the course of their tired attempts in finding women champions from whose examples and rich experiences many lessons can be drawn.

The simplicity of Khadijah's example is something that cannot pass unnoticed not only by Muslim women but by non-Muslims as well.

It Began with Business and Ended up in Marriage

It is no wonder after all to see Khadijah talking to her lady friend,

Nafisah, about her interest in Muhammad.

Khadijah offered Muhammad a job to trade in her business on her behalf. Muhammad, on his part, showed remarkable success in his new job because of the transparency he adopted in his trading job with the business lady, and his experience in the field as a tradesman who successfully led many business trips to the Levant.

In her business trips, Khajidah appointed Maysarah (one of her servants) as an assistant to Muhammad in his new job, and through talking to her servant, she was assured of Muhammad's transparency and honesty in handling her business.

It is no wonder after all to see Khadijah talking to her lady friend, Nafisah, about her interest in Muhammad. Nafisah went straight to the Prophet and implicitly mentioned lady Khadijah. The Prophet got so interested and decided to ask for her hand in marriage.

Now, the prestigious and high-born lady is offering herself in marriage after she became pretty sure that this person she is proposing to marry will never think of her as a rich businesswoman, but as a woman worthy of company and warm marriage relationship.

It is an aspect of Khadijah's character worthy of contemplation and remembrance. It is a moral lesson for both non-Muslims and new Muslims to learn from and adopt in their daily lives. A very prestigious lady offering to marry a man who once used to trade in her business after she has tested his manners and character. What a moral lesson worthy of contemplation in today's life where marriages have turned into business deals and where real love is becoming rare.

Once she found her perfect match, Khadijah was not hesitant to offer herself and unfold her love in a dignified manner that, although was not quite common among her people, but still it was very respectable.

The happy couple, Muhammad and Khadijah, concluded the marriage ceremony and it has been narrated that Muhammad offered Khadijah a dowry worthy of her respectable status in that time. The happy couple moved forward until a turning point in their lives took place.

Indeed, Muhammad-Khadijah's marriage here is a telling example on its own of how far Islam empowers women to select their suitable matches while being free from any family pressure and worn-out traditions that in many times stand as stumbling blocks in the face of happy marriages.

Here, Khadijah chose her 'Mr. Right' on her own using sound criteria that although somewhat driven by human inclinations but yet has its undeniable and fair share of a marriage choice that is mainly based on reason and rationale. Selecting her partner herself is an experience girls in 21st century can benefit from once they apply the same rules their head figure Khadijah once followed.

Khadijah: The First Female Muslim

his beloved wife Khadijah comforted and 
reassured him when he returned home

Fifteen years after their marriage, Muhammad was ordered by God to carry out his duty as a Messenger to the whole of mankind.

It was in the Cave Hira' that he received the first revelation. It might be out of context to mention the minute details of how and when Muhammad received the revelation, but what matters here is how his beloved wife Khadijah comforted and reassured him when he returned home after he received the first divine revelation.

Trembling of awe as a result of the revelation he received, Muhammad returned home, and told his wife what happened. Hearing him, she comforted his soul with outstanding courage saying:

'By God, He will never forsake you. You extend ties of kinship, say the truth, help the weak, show generosity to guests, and strive hard to apply justice.'

We haven't witnessed a woman ever assuring her husband in the same way Khadijah did. She managed to reassure her husband in the right time and she instantly sought practical ways to achieve that by visiting her cousin Waraqah who had knowledge of the People of the Book.

Later on, Waraqah appeased Muhammad's heart that this experience he witnessed is shared only by Prophets and Messengers of God. It has been reported that Khadijah was the first to proclaim her Islam.

She embraced Islam with no introduction or even a brief inquiry about the new religion. The word hesitation finds no place in her dictionary after she had witnessed her husband granted the honor of divine revelation directly from God.

It is really rare to trace back how she became a Muslimah, but a great number of Muslim historians state that she was the first member from among both men and women to declare faith in Allah and His Messenger.

Others state that she was the first female to adopt Islam. This latter view is the most famous one and it is the one followed by the greatest majority of Muslims. 

Khadijah lived as a very loyal and supporting wife to her husband (i.e. Muhammad) for more than nine years after the beginning of the revelation. She supported the Islamic mission with her money and was a source of comfort for her husband.

She respected her husband's meditations before the revelations were sent to him, and later she supported him as a leader in his community.

It is through this attitude of Khadijah that modern women, irrespective of their faith, race, or location can draw fruitful lessons taking Khadijah's way of treatment to Muhammad as an exemplar.

Modern women, who at many times tend to start a perfect life may yearn to have a luxurious lifestyle and once they face the hardship of reality, they may fail to face the first test.  Hence, learning from the heroine figure of Khadijah is necessary. She stood behind her husband in his stressful moments, shared his sorrow before his happiness, bore his burden before enjoying the moments of ease together.

Muhammad's Love to Khadijah

Muhammad remained loyal to Khadijah 
a long time after her death

Khadijah's Islam alleviated Muhammad's suffering, and assured him the tranquility he was in need of at home. Khadijah played a great role in granting her husband the necessary courage he had to adopt in order to face both physical and psychological sufferings as a result of his divine mission.

It is a role today's modern wives ought to learn from Khadijah in order to help their husbands cope with modern challenges that threaten the institution of family and threaten to target its very roots.

Muhammad remained loyal to Khadijah a long time after her death, and it has been reported that he called the year she died as the 'Year of Grief.' He used to praise her a lot in the presence of his other wives to the extent that his wife 'Aishah said:

"I have never felt jealous from any woman except Khadijah."

The Prophet used to mention her qualities a lot saying:

"She (Khadijah) believed in me while others rejected my call. She affirmed my truthfulness when people called me a liar. She spent her wealth to lighten the burden of my sorrow when others had forsaken me." (At-Tirmidhi)

Muhammad even continued to honor her friends a long time after her death as a sign of showing gratitude to her.

The Beloved Wife Passing Away

According to some Muslim historians, Khadijah died during the month of Ramadan before the year of Muhammad's emigration to Madinah on the 'Year of Grief.' Muhammad was badly affected as a result of his wife's death and it has been reported that he said while seeing his beloved dying: "How heavy it is on myself to see such a scene."

He stayed many days in his home overwhelmed by sadness for the death of Khadijah, the loyal and obedient wife with whom he stayed twenty five years in love, dedication, patience, and commitment.

Finally, Khadijah's story of adopting Islam as a religion and as a way of life remains a new living story from which men and women will continue to have spiritual provision along the course of centuries.

Khadijah is a telling example by herself as a non-believing lady who lived by morals and principles, as a wife who stood by her husband in difficult times, as a believer who showed no hesitation to accept the truth, and as a supporter to her new belief with different forms of personal sacrifices.

Her example is one worthy of contemplation and imitation by young women in our modern societies.

Source: http://onislam.net