Sexual Relations during Menstruation (haydh) and Post-Natal Bleeding ( nifas)

READ DISCLAIMER BEFORE PROCEEDING

SEXUAL RELATIONS DURING MENSTRUATION (HAYD)

AND POSTNATAL BLEEDING (NIFAS)

1)      Having sex during menstruation is absolutely and emphatically unlawful (haram) as established by the explicit text of the Qur'an and numerous Prophetic hadiths. There is complete scholarly consensus (ijma') within the Muslim Umma on this. Allah Most High says:

'They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: "It is an impurity. So keep away from women during menstruation; and do not approach them until they are cleansed. But when they are cleansed, then approach them from where Allah has commanded you. Surely Allah loves those who are most repenting, and loves those who keep themselves pure."

(Qur'an 2:222)

Sayyiduna Anas (r) relates:

"Among the Jews, when a woman menstruated, they did not eat with her, nor did they live with menstruating women in their houses. So the Companions of the Messenger of Allah (s) asked the Messenger of Allah (s) [regarding this practice], so Allah Most High revealed: "They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: "It is an impurity. So keep away from women during menstruation" till the end of the verse. Thus, the Messenger of Allah (s) said, "Do everything except for sex."  

(Sahih Muslim 302)

Sayyiduna Abu Hurayra (r) relates from the Messenger of Allah (sa) that he said:

"The one who has sex with a menstruating woman, or with a woman in her anus, or who goes to a fortune-teller, has disbelieved (kufr) in that which was revealed to Muhammad (sa)"  

(Sunan al-Tirmidhi 135)

The "kufr'' mentioned in this hadith is to indicate the severity (taghliz)  of these actions, in that sex during menstruation, anal sex and accepting as true what a fortune-teller says are acts that are close to disbelief. Others hold that if these acts are carried out whilst considering them to be lawful (istihlalan), one would leave the fold of Islam without doubt. (See: Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi bi Sharh Jami’ al-Tirmidhi 1:440)

Imam Nawawi states, "Having actual sex with one's spouse [during menstruation] is unlawful by the consensus of the Muslims due to the explicit texts of the Qur'an and Sunna. Our scholars state that a Muslim who considers having actual vaginal sex with a menstruating woman as lawful has become a disbeliever (kafir) and an apostate (murtad). Someone who indulges in this without considering it to be lawful, and does it forgetfully (nisyan), or without knowing that the woman was menstruating, or is ignorant of its prohibition, or was compelled, then no sin was committed and he is not required to expiate for it. However, if he has sex with her deliberately, knowing that she is menstruating, knowing of its prohibition and with a free choice, then he has certainly committed a major sin (kabira). Imam Shafi'i (may Allah have mercy on him) has stressed that it is a major sin, and sincere repentance is necessary." (Al-Minhaj Sharh Sahih Muslim P: 366)

Sex during menstruation is also harmful from a medical point of view. Research has discovered that menstrual flow contains certain toxic substances that can be detrimental if they enter into the male body or are prevented a clear passage of flow from the female body. This can occur when having sex while the woman is menstruating. Hence, sex during menstruation has resulted in an increase in both men and women being inflicted with various types of painful and often fatal blood-borne diseases. (African journal of Reproductive Health Vol. 8,No. 2,Aug. 2004 pp. 55-58)

As such, the spouses must completely avoid sex during the period of menstruation. If they ever engage in it, they must sincerely repent and ask Allah Most High for forgiveness. They should also give something in charity as a form of expiation.

Sayyiduna 'Abdullah ibn Abbas (r) relates from the Messenger of Allah (s) regarding a man who has sex with his wife while she is menstruating that:

"He should give a half dinar in charity." (Sunan al-Tirmidh'i 136)

The majority of the classical scholars, including Imam Abu Hanifa, Imam Malik and Imam Shafi'i (may Allah have mercy on them all), consider giving something in charity to be optional, and not a requirement for the acceptance of one's repentance (tawba). As such, seeking forgiveness from Allah Most High is sufficient. However, Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal (may Allah have mercy on him) and some others hold that giving something in charity is necessary along with sincere repentance. (See: Al-Minhaj Sharah Sahih Muslim P: 366-367)

2)      All the Sunni Schools of Islamic law (madhhabs) are in agreement that it is permitted for the husband to derive sexual pleasure from his wife through direct skin-to-skin contact of the area above her navel and below her knees. As such, kissing, hugging, embracing is all permitted. The husband may touch any area of the wife's body from above the navel and below the knees with his hands, his penis or any other part of his body. It is also permitted for the wife to masturbate her husband, since the husband is not touching any area that is in between her navel and knees. Shaykh Abu Hamid al-Isfira'in'i and many others relate a complete scholarly consensus on this. (Al Minhaj Sharh Sahih Muslim P: 367)

Sayyida 'A'isha (r) relates:

''When anyone amongst us [i.e. the wives of the Messenger of Allah (s)] menstruated, the Messenger of Allah (s) would order her to wear an "izar [i.e. covering between the navel and knee], and then approach her."  

(Sahih Muslim 293)

Imam ibn Hakim (S) relates from his paternal uncle that:

"He asked the Messenger of Allah ... ''What is permitted for me to do with my wife when she is menstruating?" He said, ''Whatever is above the covering (Izar)."  

(Sunan Abi Dawud 214)

It is stated in the Hanafi Fiqh reference work Al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya, "It is permitted to kiss one's menstruating wife, sleep with her and enjoy her entire body, except for that which is in between the navel and knees according to Imam Abu Han'ifa and Imam Abu Yusuf..." (Al­Fatawa al-Hindiyya 1 :39)

Imam Ibn 'Abidin states in his Radd al-Muhtar, "It is permitted to enjoy the navel and everything above it, and the knee and everything below it, even without a barrier." (Radd al-Muhtar 'ala 'l-Durr al-Mukhtar 1:292)

3)      As for the area between the navel and knees, the majority of the scholars, including Imam Abu Han'ifa, Imam Malik and Imam Shafi'i, hold that direct skin-to-skin contact of that area is not permitted, irrespective of the presence or absence of sexual desire (shahwa). However, indirect contact, such as stimulation through a barrier [like clothing] is permissible. Therefore, it is permitted for the husband to rub his private parts against his wife's private parts if there is some sort of clothing in between that prevents the transfer of body-heat. This position is based on the hadith's in which there is mention of wearing the covering (izar) .

Imam Ibn 'Abidin , of the Hanafi School, states, "It is also permitted to enjoy that which is in between the navel and knees but with a barrier [such as clothing], without actual sex, even if blood spreads all over." (Radd al-Muhtar 'ala 'l-Durr al-Mukhtar 1 : 292)

However, Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal, Imam Muhammad ibn al-Hasan, Imam Nawaw'i and some other scholars hold that it is permitted for the husband to touch the area between the navel and knees of his wife's body, even without a barrier, as long as the actual vagina and anus are avoided. They base their position on the statement of the Messenger of Allah (s) where he said, "Do everything except for sex." (For further details on the various positions of the Imams, see: Fath al-Bari 1:525 & Al-Minhaj Sharh Sahih Muslim P: 367)

4)      Finally, according to Imam Shafi'i, Imam Malik, Imam Ahmad and the majority of early (salaf) and late (khalaf) scholars, the restriction on sexual relations remains even after menstruation ends until the wife takes the obligatory ritual bath (ghusl) or, in the absence of water, a dry ablution (tayammum). (Al-Minhaj P: 367)

According to the Hanafi School, however, there is some detail regarding this. If menstruation ends after the ten-day maximum duration, then sex is permitted, even without a ritual bath, though having a bath is recommended. When menstruation ends before the ten-day maximum duration, and it is after the completion of her normal menstrual habit ('ada), then sex is permitted only after having a bath or the passing of one whole prayer-time. If it ends before the completion of her normal menstrual habit, it remains prohibited and sinful to have sex, even after she bathes, until she completes her normal habit. (See: Radd al-Muhtar 1:294 and lmdad al-Fattah Sharh Nur al-Idah P: 141-142)

It should be noted that the rules pertaining to menstruation also apply to postnatal bleeding (nifas). As far as abnormal uterine bleeding (istihada) is concerned, there are no sexual restrictions and it is permitted for the couple to have sex in this period even if blood spreads all over, though the wife should wash and remove traces of blood before sexual relations. (Radd al-Muhtar 1:294)

Source: Islamic Guide To Sexual Relations

To Be Continued....

EGO - A Most Dangerous Sin

Islam & Ego

In the Name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

What is the Quran's perspective on ego?

[Quran 2:54] Recall that Moses said to his people, "O my people, you have wronged your souls by worshiping the calf. You must repent to your Creator. You shall kill your egos. This is better for you in the sight of your Creator." He did redeem you. He is the Redeemer, Most Merciful. 

What is this thing called "ego" which God advises us to kill? We all have a feeling of what it is, but Western culture has confused the issue for us. The dictionary definition of ego is almost useless, perhaps even harmful:

The thinking, feeling and acting self that is conscious of itself and aware of its distinction from the selves of others and from the objects of its thought and other operations. 

That sounds harmless enough, doesn’t it? But is it really? Interestingly, even the dictionary suggests the Quranic truth. The word "distinction" is the key here. The very word implies that some are better than others, and thus should be followed in preference to others. But the messengers are just vehicles for God’s guidance, and it is that guidance we must follow, not the individuals themselves. In the same way, making a distinction between others and ourselves implies that one or the other is inherently better. Yet we know that the only thing which distinguishes the people is righteousness:

O people, we created you from the same male and female, and rendered you distinct peoples and tribes, that you may recognize one another. The best among you in the sight of God is the most righteous. God is Omniscient, Cognizant (49:13).

And even righteousness comes from God alone:

[Quran 74:56] They cannot take heed against God's will. He is the source of righteousness; He is the source of forgiveness.

Our ego directs us to make distinction among our self and others, making us better than them in our own eyes. It is also the piece that makes us feel that we have some power, control or influence over things. It is the piece that gives importance to our personal opinions, to our grudges, to our desires.

 
The ego is that piece which got us into trouble in the first place when we did not stand up for God’s absolute power during the heavenly feud! It is because of it that we are going through this life—the make-up test.

The Quran gives us examples of the result of following our egos rather than killing them. It teaches us that it was ego that provoked Adam’s son Cain into murdering his brother Abel (5:30). Through the example of the governor’s wife who had tempted Joseph it teaches us that "the self is an advocate of vice" (12:53).

Following our ego puts us in danger of being covered by the following verse:

[Quran 47:14] Are those enlightened by their Lord the same as those whose evil works are adorned in their eyes, and they follow their own opinions? 

Following our ego causes us to be arrogant to the extent of rejecting God’s messengers:

[Quran 2:87] ...Is it not a fact that every time a messenger went to you with anything you disliked, your ego caused you to be arrogant? Some of them you rejected, and some of them you killed. 

Finally, we are given the example of David whose repentance was reinforced with God’s teaching to

[Quran 38:26] ...rule among the people equitably, and do not follow your personal opinion, lest it diverts you from the way of God"

Humility is antithesis of ego. Its importance is emphasized throughout the scriptures. (See also 17:37 and 25:63):

[Quran 31:18-19] You shall not treat the people with arrogance, nor shall you roam the earth proudly. God does not like the arrogant showoffs "Walk humbly and lower your voice - the ugliest voice is the donkey’s voice."

Man’s pride causes his humiliation, but he who is humble of spirit obtains honor. (Proverbs 29 verse 23) God teaches us that the ego can become an idol and the consequences can be detrimental for our salvation. Those who idolize their selves or egos may be sent astray by God, despite the knowledge they acquired:

[Quran 25:43] Have you seen the one whose god is his own ego? Will you be his advocate?

[Quran 45:23] Have you noted the one whose god is his ego? Consequently, God sends him astray, despite his knowledge, seals his hearing and his mind, and places a veil on his eyes. Who then can guide him, after such a decision by God? Would you not take heed?

How do we go about killing our egos? God gives us many means of working at this. For example, advice has been given to us to use criticism from someone else to kill the ego. Even if it was not correct, you have used it constructively. (Easier said than done though!) Every time we make a mistake, then repent and try to make amends, we are killing our ego. Every time we take ourselves to task for not being as eager to work righteousness, for not being straightforward, for backsliding, for falling into gossip or vain talk, we are killing our ego. 

 Sadly, the ego is like a hearty weed. Just when you think you have it licked, it sprouts right back up again. We must remember that God is the only one who really can do anything—including killing our ego. However, it is us who must make the initial decision to improve ourselves:

[Quran 13:11] ...God does not change the condition of any people unless they themselves make the decision to change...

  

Whenever you want to pursue the truth and verify anything you hear about Islam, we urge you to please use the only valid and divine source of Islam, Quran.

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This Lecture Will Change Your Life ~ Islam and Ego ~

Allah Championed His Messengers - Mankind and Satan

Allah Championed His Messengers

As for Mûsâ (peace be upon him), he was not yet commissioned for Prophethood when he struck the man with his fist and killed him but within him was faith and fear of God, thus he immediately realized that what he committed was from Satan’s doing, thus he turned in repentance to Allah, all praise and glory is to Him, begging His Forgiveness.

As for Yûsuf (peace be upon him), the Saying of the Truth, Blessed and Exalted is He, (which means): “But Satan made him forget the mention [to] his master”  can have two possible meanings: the first is that the one who got out of prison, was the one whom the devil made him forget mentioning Yûsuf to Al-Aziz , and ask him to set him out of prison, thus he (Yûsuf) stayed in the prison for a few more years, or it was Yûsuf who forgot. But the stronger meaning is the first.

What substantiates the first meaning is that Yûsuf asked from that person to mention him to his lord - the king, whom he would go to serve – and to tell him that there was an aggrieved man in prison. This serves to clarify that the glorious Ayah does not mean that Satan made Yûsuf forget remembering Allah, Blessed and Exalted is He.

When Ayûb (peace be upon him) invoked Allah saying: “Indeed, Satan has touched me with hardship and torment” , he was complaining to His Lord that Satan was whispering to him, telling him: “How come while you are a prophet to get inflicted with such tribulations? How come you fall ill and all this befalls you, from losing your children, and the disobedience of your wife, and such sorts of afflictions, should not Allah, all praise and glory is to Him, honor you!”  But Ayûb (peace be upon him), who got spiritually hurt by the whisperings of Satan, did not pay heed to Satan, but he rather turned to Allah, all praise and glory is to Him, in supplication, begging Him to relieve him of what he was suffering from, thereupon Allah, Blessed and Exalted is He, answered his supplications.

   

Furthermore, we should also point out to the Hadith of the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) in which he said: “Satan circulates in the human being as blood circulates in the body.” Some orientalists try to cast doubts concerning this hadith, we say to those skeptics, who try to find a gap through which they can spit out their venoms and never will they succeed: many components run through blood, among which are iron, phosphate, calcium, and other components revealed by modern analysis, even microbes and germs – which are material bodies – they penetrate the skin and infuse in the blood, where they remain during their incubation period till they reproduce, and battles occur between them and the white blood cells. As for the devil, he is not created from clay, but he is rather created from a material far more transparent, that is extremely fine and delicate, how come then that we find it hard to believe that he penetrates the skin, and circulates with the blood, as many other solid substances, which we cannot feel them.

We ask Allah to protect us from sinning, and not to make a way for Satan over our hearts.

Source: (Book) Mankind and Satan