Warning - Contents may have images/information that some viewers may find disturbing. Proceed with caution. One of the principles of sharee’ah (law) is that whatever leads to haraam deeds is itself haraam, so everything that leads to the provocation of haraam desires is haraam, because it may lead to a person falling into evil things. If you feel erotic while reading the post, please leave/close the page.
E- Differentiating between the three types of dreams
Ibn Qutaybah ad-Dinawari ﻪﻣﺣﺭﷲ says in his book about dream interpretations, "There is nothing in which people deal with from the different sciences that is more obscure, delicate, exalted, noble, difficult and problematic than dreams because they are a type of revelation and type of Prophethood."
We are living in an age where the knowledge of the material world is increasing exponentially, rendering it impossible for a person to grasp even a tiny portion of it in totality. And as for the knowledge of metaphysical dimensions, we are far behind the people of the past.
We see Yaqub ﻪﻳﻠﻋﻡﻼﺳﻟﺍ forbidding Yusuf ﻪﻳﻠﻋﻡﻼﺳﻟﺍ to narrate his dream to his brothers, because even those deviant kids had knowledge to take out some meaning from the dream (See Reference # 2). And in the age of ours, we tend to wobble at even the first step of interpretation,that is to know whether the dream needs an interpretation or not, which used to be a child play in the times that have passed. As elaborated above one needs to know whether the dream is meaningful or a meaningless one because one's reaction to the dream depends on this. Realizing, the importance of the topic we will try to list down mandatory and probable characteristics of the three types of dreams. Before we go on with the list few points are to be clarified :
1- We are not discussing the topic of interpretation of dreams, rather, we are dealing with a topic, a satisfactory grasp of which is a must have for interpretation. Hence, we are dealing with a prerequisite of science of interpretation of dreams.
2- We will try to list down mandatory and probable characteristics of the three types of dreams. For a dream to belong to a particular type it should possess all the mandatory characteristics but it may or may not possess all the probable characteristics. Hence, instead of getting confused on comparing one's dream to few of the listed characteristics. One should go through the whole list to have conviction on his filtration.
3- Books written on the topics of interpretation of dreams do mention the characteristics of the three types of dreams, but all the characteristics are mentioned as mandatory ones, which might not be the case always. Hence, the set of rules given fails some times, and makes the dreamer confused. The idea of mandatory and probable characteristics is unique in this regard.
4- The purpose of this list is not to be able to identify any dream as type 1, 2 or 3. Rather, the main idea is to be able to filter out dreams of type 1 from the remaining two.
5- Many ahadith mention only two types of dreams that is ﺎﻳﺅﺭﻟﺍ and ﻡﻠﺣﻟﺍ , and do not draw any line between type2 and type 3. The reason being, the thin differentiating line between these two types. Many a times dreams are so jumbled out that one can't figure out different between type 2 and type 3. Also, it is needless to differentiate between type 2 and type 3 as both are meaningless.
6- Nevertheless, we will mention all the characteristics for the three under different headings. For our ease in future, we should take them just as characteristics of true (type 1) and false (type 2 and 3) dreams in future. One should develop his own two column table of these characteristics. This exercise is left to the individuals because dreams have a lot to do with one's own orientation and thinking and sleeping patterns.
7- As a rule, one should ponder over, care for and relate only those dreams which pass through the complete filter (the list you tabulated yourself), and the dreamer has conviction that this surely was a true dream (type1).
IN THE PRECEDING pages, an
attempt was made to shed light on issues concerning the sexual relationship of
a husband and wife in light of the Qur'an, Prophetic statements and texts of
both classical and contemporary scholars. It has not been easy to discuss such
a delicate topic in an open and frank manner, given the nature of the topic and
given the natural bashfulness of a human being.
However, upon seeing many of
our classical and contemporary scholars not only discussing these issues but
explaining the finer details of it too, I embarked on this journey keeping in
mind the statement of Allah Most High, "Surely, Allah is not shy of
[expounding] the truth" and keeping in mind the statement of the Tabi'i,
Mujahid, "Sacred knowledge is not gained by a shy or an arrogant
person". I felt it was of paramount importance that Muslims seek Islamic
knowledge relating to all areas of their lives, and that they do not shy away
from certain aspects of it because of cultural taboos or constraints.
I hope I have gone some way
towards achieving what I had set out to do. I pray this work is a source of
much benefit for married couples, Insha 'Allah. I ask Allah Most High to
make it purely for His sake, and that He forgive me for any mistakes that may have
been committed, Amin Ya Rabb al-'Alamin.
THE
COMPLETENESS OF ISLAM is displayed in the guidance it provides for every aspect
of life, from purity and prayer, to trade regulations, marriage and inheritance
laws. There is little place for the separation of religion from the state,
rather, Islam insists on adherence to the full spectrum of its teachings- from
the fundamental articles of faith ('aqa'id) and devotional worship ('ibadat),
to financial transactions (mu'amalat), 'social and communal
etiquettes ( mu'ashara) and moral ethics ( akhlaq).
Allah Most High says:
"O you who believe, enter
into Islam completely, and do not follow the footsteps of Satan. Surely he is
an open enemy for you."
(Qur'an 2:2o8)
It is a common fallacy that Islam
is restricted to particular forms of devotional worship, and has nothing to say
about social issues, marriage, divorce, politics, economics and so on. A cursory study of the Shari'a reveals that a great portion
of Islamic law exists to address these very questions. Compilations of
Prophetic narrations and manuals of Islamic law (fiqh) have substantial
chapters dedicated to these subjects. Of the four volumes of the renowned
classical Hanafi fiqh Manual, Al Hidaya, only the first explains the rules of devotional
worship; the other three are dedicated to laws on trade, marriage, divorce,
penal law, dietary laws, inheritance and other issues. The same pattern is
found in many badith collections where the majority of the work consists of matters
other than the pure devotional worship.
The
implication of this is that a Muslim who confines his practice of Islam to
purely devotional worship is omitting a great portion of the teachings of the
Qur'an and Sunna. Muslims are therefore duty bound to learn the full spectrum
of Islamic teachings and implement them, and the fruit of this is a blissful,
peaceful and successful life in this world and the next.
The
beloved Messenger(sa) is a light that shows the way
to that which is of benefits in both worlds, and is the exemplar of perfection,
even for the mundane realities of everyday life. Imam Muslim (may Allah have
mercy on him) relates in his Sahih, from the Companion Salman al-Farisi that some polytheists approached him saying:
''Your Prophet has taught you
everything, even about excrement [i.e. etiquettes of relieving oneself]."
He replied: "Indeed! He has forbidden
us from facing the Qibla when excreting or urinating, and from cleaning
ourselves with our right hand, and from cleaning ourselves with less than three
stones, and from cleaning ourselves with dung or bone."
(Sahih, Muslim 262
& Sunan Ab'i Dawud7, the wording is of Abi Dawud)
Sayyiduna
Abu Hurayra ~ relates that the Messenger of
Allah (s) said:
"Verily, I am to you like
a father, I teach you [i.e. do not be ashamed in learning even the basics from
me]. If any one of you goes to relieve himself, he must not face the Qjbla nor
tum his back toward it, and must not clean himself with his right hand ...
"
(Sunan Ab'i Dawud 8)
Accordingly,
Islam does not neglect one of the most private moments in an individual's life,
namely, the sexual relationship between a husband and wife. Detailed and
explicit rulings regarding sexual behaviour can be found in the Qur'an, Sunna
and works of classical scholars. It is common to find scholars dedicating whole
chapters to this delicate, yet important, subject. Imam Abu Hamid al-Ghazali's Ihya:
'Ulum alDin, Al-Tibb al-Nabawi by Imam Ibn al-Qayyim al-Jawziyya, Imam Ibn
Qudama's Al-Mughn'i, Imam Nasai's Ishrat al-Nisa', Imam Abul-Faraj Ibn al-Jawzi's Sayd al-Khatir, the Ghunya al-Talibin by
Shaykh 'Abd al Qadir al-Jilani and countless other classical works deal with
this topic in some detail. The major reference works in all four Sunni Schools
of Islamic law (madhhabs) also discuss many aspects of sexual relations
and what married couples may and may not do.
A
healthy sexual relationship is absolutely vital in marriage. Scholars today generally
agree that one of the primary reasons for failed marriages is failed sexual
lives. The root cause of marital discord is often sexual dissatisfaction, with
problems in the bedroom often leading to unhappiness, frustration, and, at
times, even divorce.
Among
the objectives of marriage is to satisfy one's sexual needs in a lawful manner,
and if either spouse is unfulfilled, the temptation to look elsewhere can
become overwhelming. Often, a spouse will refuse to engage in a form of sexual
activity, mistakenly believing it to be unlawful, which could easily sour their
relationship. It is therefore of key importance
for married couples to understand the teachings of Islam regarding sexual
behaviour. With some basic education on the subject, it is possible to have a
healthy sexual life and avoid marital conflict.
A
second, but no less important, reason for a detailed exposition of this subject
is the modern world's fixation with sexuality. The topic has been
institutionalised in the school curriculum under the banner of "sex
education", where children are taught what some may consider shameful and
sordid acts. Furthermore, the increasing pervasiveness of sexual imagery is
affecting Muslims, with growing numbers becoming addicted to pornography and
other unlawful means of sexual gratification.
In
this environment, it is crucial to present the Islamic stance on this subject,
otherwise Muslims will be left to learn about it from un-Islamic resources, damaging
their character, spirituality and physical health.
Some
may consider any discussion on sex to be offensive and a breach of religious
propriety (adab) and modesty (haya), unaware that the Messenger
of Allah (s) himself explained this subject
in considerable detail. Several hadith describe how the Messenger of Allah (s)taught men and women matters relating to sex, many
of which will be explored over the course of this book.
Imam
Bukhari and Imam Muslim (may Allah have mercy on them) both record a hadith in
their Sahih, collections, related by Abu Hurayra (r),in which the Messenger of Allah (s) was teaching his Companions (r) the rules of having a ritual bath (ghusl), when
he said:
''When a man sits amidst her
four parts and then exerts pressure on her, a ritual bath becomes obligatory
upon him."
(Sahih, alBukhari 287 & Sahih, Muslim 348, the wording is of Muslim)
In
this hadith, the Messenger of Allah (s)describes explicitly how a man might have sex with his wife such
that it necessitates a ritual bath of purification. There are numerous other
examples which illustrate the frankness with which the Prophet~ discussed these matters.
The
Companions (r) also did not shy away from
asking the Messenger of Allah (s) questions of a sexual nature. In a famous incident, Sayyiduna 'Umar
ibn al-Khattab (r) asked the Messenger of Allah (s) about the permissibility of penetrating one's wife from behind
i.e. penetrating the vagina, and not the anus. The Messenger of Allah (s) did not rebuke him for asking
an "offensive" question, but waited until Allah Most High Himself
revealed verses of the Qur'an to answer his question. (See: Sunan
al-Tirmidhi 298o)
Remarkably,
women also felt able to ask theMessenger of Allah (s)questions of a sexual nature without any reluctance
or being ashamed of such enquiry. Rather, the Messenger of Allah (s) did not shy away from answering
them, even though he was shy by nature. Umm Salama (r) relates:
"Umm Sulama (r) came to the Messenger of Allah (s)and said, "O Messenger of
Allah, Surely, Allah is not shy of the truth. Is it necessary for a woman to
take a ritual bath after she has a wet dream?" The Messenger of Allah (s)replied, ''Yes, if she notices a
discharge." Umm Salama covered her face and asked, "O Messenger of
Allah! Does a woman have a discharge?" He replied, "Yes, let your
right hand be in dust [an Arabic expression said light-heartedly to someone
whose statement you contradict]. how does the son resemble his mother?"
(Sahih
al-Bukhari 13O)
Here,
a woman has no qualms in asking the Messenger of Allah (s)about something as intimate as
a wet dream. Umm Sulama's statement "Allah is not shy of the truth"
is a clear indication that there is no shyness when it comes to learning about
matters of D'in. The Messenger of Allah (s)used this phrase himself when
he prohibited anal sex, saying:
"Allah is not shy of the
truth; do not enter women in their anuses."
(Sunan Ibn Miijah 1924,
Musnad AI} mad & others)
It
is clear, then, that there is nothing wrong in discussing this subject for
instructional purposes, as long as it is done with decency. In fact, it is a
mistake to shy away from the teachings of Allah Most High and the Messenger if, even those regarding sexual
matters.
Imam
Bukhari: relates from Mujahid who said, "Sacred knowledge ('ilm) is not gained by a shy person nor an
arrogant one." (Sahih alBukhari 1:6o)
Likewise,
he relates from Sayyida 'A'isha (r) who said, "How praise worthy are the women of Ansar; shyness
does not prevent them from having a deep understanding of religion."
(Ibid)
Modesty
is, without doubt, a fundamental element of our religion, but when it comes to
religious matters it should not prevent one from learning. In the modern world,
questions of sexuality are openly discussed, often indecently; why then should
we feel ashamed of learning the pure and decent teachings of Islam on this
subject?
Those
who feel that the contents of this book are overly explicit should keep in mind
the words of Allah Most High, His Messenger (s)and the Companions (r). "Surely, Allah is not shy
of [expounding] the truth" (Qur'an 33:53, Sahih al-Bukhari 130 and Sunan
Ibn Majah 1924). Whatever is discussed in this book is based directly on
the Qur'an, Sunna, sayings of the Companions (r) works of classical scholars, reference works in each of the four Sunni
Schools of Islamic law, and authentic works of some learned contemporary
scholars.
In
light of the two reasons discussed above, namely, sexual problems between
married couples as a cause of marital discord, and the modern day fixation on
sex and its powerful influence on Muslims, the need to guide Muslims to the
Islamic teachings regarding sexual matters is clear.
A
third reason is that many Muslims simply do not know the Islamic laws and
etiquettes on sexual relations; some are even unaware that sex during
menstruation is categorically forbidden. There are also many who desire to live
their lives in harmony with Islamic teachings and are motivated to learn, but
feel too embarrassed to ask a scholar directly. For such individuals, this book
will prove to be an invaluable resource, Insha 'Allah.
Finally,
some Muslim couples may be engaging in practices that are completely permitted,
but are under the false impression that they are prohibitively disliked or forbidden.
I once came across an individual who believed that kissing his wife's body was
unlawful, but he did it nevertheless. Even though he had not committed a sin,
it was detrimental to his spirituality to practise an act he believed to be unlawful,
despite it being perfectly lawful. People in this situation must be apprised
of what is permitted, preventing them from feeling guilty for engaging in it.
More seriously, performing acts that one believes are unlawful, even if they are completely lawful, will eventually instill a
lax attitude towards Islamic law in the heart, and this will inevitably lead to
acts that are actually unlawful. Clear guidelines, therefore, are absolutely
necessary to inform Muslims of what is permitted and to safeguard them from falling
into prohibited acts.
