Successive Sessions of Sexual Intercourse - Islamic Guide To Sexual Relations

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1)   Successive Sessions of Sexual Intercourse

a) Islam permits the couple to have sex more than once in one given period of the day or night, provided no harm is feared. Imam Ibn al­Qayyim al-Jawziyya mentions in his Al-Tibb al-Nabawi that one should only have sex when sexual desire is at its peak and the man has a full naturally gained erection which is not dependent on thinking about something or looking at something. It is improper to try and force sexual desire (shahwa) upon oneself. (Al-Tibb al-Nabawi P: 181)

As such, if there is a genuine desire to re-engage in sexual relations, the couple may do so, otherwise it may be better for them to wait until they are fully revitalised. Both spouses should be extremely mindful and respectful of their partner's physical condition in this regard, lest one is forced into something one is not ready for.

b) There is complete agreement of the scholars that it is not necessary to have a ritual bath in between two successive sessions of sexual intercourse. The preferred habit of the Messenger of Allah (sa) was to have a separate bath each time, but he is also reported to have engaged in successive sessions of intercourse having one bath only at the end.

Sayyiduna Anas (r) relates that:

"The Messenger of Allah (sa) used to engage in sexual relations with his [various] wives with a single bath."  

(Sahih, Muslim 309, Sunan al-Tirmidhi 140, Sunan Abi Dawud 220 and others)

The meaning of this hadith is that the Messenger of Allah (sa) would engage in sexual relations with more than one of his wives and then have one bath at the end. This is clear proof that having a bath in between two successive sessions of sexual intercourse, whether with the same wife or a different wife, is not necessary.

However, it is superior and recommended to have a separate bath for each sexual encounter. Sayyiduna Abu Rafi' (r) relates that:·

"The Messenger of Allah (sa) engaged in sexual relations with his [various] wives one day, and had a [separate] bath by this one and that one. He (Abu Rafi') says, "I said, "O Messenger of Allah, Why do you not just have one bath?" He replied, 'This is cleaner and better and purer." 

(Sunan Abi Dawud 221, Sunan Ibn Majah 590 and Musnad Ahmad, the wording is of Abi Dawud)

c) As far as performing a ritual ablution in between two successive sessions of sexual intercourse, this is strongly encouraged, but also not necessary. Sayyiduna Abu Sa'id al-Khudri (r) relates that the Messenger of Allah (sa) said:

''When anyone amongst you has sex with his wife and then intends to re-engage, he should perform ablution [in between the two acts]." (Sahih, Muslim 308, Sunan al-Tirmidh'i 141 and Sunan Abi Dawud 222, the wording is of Muslim)

According to the general body of scholars (jumhur) which includes the four schools, the command to perform ablution in this hadith is a recommendation, not an obligation. The same hadith is recorded in Sahih Ibn Khuzayma with the following addition, "because it [performing ablution] gives him more energy for the second time." (Sahih Ibn Khuzayma 221)

Moreover, Imam Tahawi relates with his own chain of transmission to Sayyida 'A'isha (r) who says: "The Messenger of Allah (sa) used to have sexual relations, then re-engage without performing ablution [ ... ]" (Sharh Ma'ani al-Athar 774)

d) If one is not able to perform ablution, one should at least wash one's private parts before having sex for the second time. Imam Nawawi mentions that if one intends to have sex with a different wife, then washing the private parts is greatly emphasised. (Al-Minhaj Sharh Sahih Muslim P: 372)

Source: Islamic Guide To Sexual Relations

To Be Continued....

Know

Evil - Regufe

Protection from Evil - شر سے تحفظ

Anyone who understands would never go to sleep without having recited these two verses.

Therefore, you should make special effort to learn these verses, and at the same time, teach your family members how to recite them.






آمَنَ الرَّسُولُ بِمَا أُنزِلَ إِلَيْهِ مِن رَّبِّهِ وَالْمُؤْمِنُونَ كُلٌّ آمَنَ بِاللّهِ وَمَلآئِكَتِهِ وَكُتُبِهِ وَرُسُلِهِ لاَ نُفَرِّقُ بَيْنَ أَحَدٍ مِّن رُّسُلِهِ وَقَالُواْ سَمِعْنَا وَأَطَعْنَا غُفْرَانَكَ رَبَّنَا وَإِلَيْكَ الْمَصِيرُ


وہ) رسول (صلی اللہ علیہ وآلہ وسلم) اس پر ایمان لائے (یعنی اس کی تصدیق کی) جو کچھ ان پر ان کے رب کی طرف سے نازل کیا گیا اور اہلِ ایمان نے بھی، سب ہی (دل سے) اﷲ پر اور اس کے فرشتوں پر اور اس کی کتابوں پر اور اس کے رسولوں پر ایمان لائے، (نیز کہتے ہیں:) ہم اس کے پیغمبروں میں سے کسی کے درمیان بھی (ایمان لانے میں) فرق نہیں کرتے، اور (اﷲ کے حضور) عرض کرتے ہیں: ہم نے (تیرا حکم) سنا اور اطاعت (قبول) کی، اے ہمارے رب! ہم تیری بخشش کے طلب گار ہیں اور (ہم سب کو) تیری ہی طرف لوٹنا ہے،


The messenger believeth in that which hath been revealed unto him from his Lord and (so do) believers. Each one believeth in Allah and His angels and His scriptures and His messengers - We make no distinction between any of His messengers - and they say: We hear, and we obey. (Grant us) Thy forgiveness, our Lord. Unto Thee is the journeying. [2:285]


لاَ يُكَلِّفُ اللّهُ نَفْسًا إِلاَّ وُسْعَهَا لَهَا مَا كَسَبَتْ وَعَلَيْهَا مَا اكْتَسَبَتْ رَبَّنَا لاَ تُؤَاخِذْنَا إِن نَّسِينَا أَوْ أَخْطَأْنَا رَبَّنَا وَلاَ تَحْمِلْ عَلَيْنَا إِصْرًا كَمَا حَمَلْتَهُ عَلَى الَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِنَا رَبَّنَا وَلاَ تُحَمِّلْنَا مَا لاَ طَاقَةَ لَنَا بِهِ وَاعْفُ عَنَّا وَاغْفِرْ لَنَا وَارْحَمْنَآ أَنتَ مَوْلاَنَا فَانصُرْنَا عَلَى الْقَوْمِ الْكَافِرِينَ


اﷲ کسی جان کو اس کی طاقت سے بڑھ کر تکلیف نہیں دیتا، اس نے جو نیکی کمائی اس کے لئے اس کا اجر ہے اور اس نے جو گناہ کمایا اس پر اس کا عذاب ہے، اے ہمارے رب! اگر ہم بھول جائیں یا خطا کر بیٹھیں تو ہماری گرفت نہ فرما، اے ہمارے پروردگار! اور ہم پر اتنا (بھی) بوجھ نہ ڈال جیسا تو نے ہم سے پہلے لوگوں پر ڈالا تھا، اے ہمارے پروردگار! اور ہم پر اتنا بوجھ (بھی) نہ ڈال جسے اٹھانے کی ہم میں طاقت نہیں، اور ہمارے (گناہوں) سے درگزر فرما، اور ہمیں بخش دے، اور ہم پر رحم فرما، تو ہی ہمارا کارساز ہے پس ہمیں کافروں کی قوم پر غلبہ عطا فرما،


Allah tasketh not a soul beyond its scope. For it (is only) that which it hath earned, and against it (only) that which it hath deserved. Our Lord! Condemn us not if we forget, or miss the mark! Our Lord! Lay not on us such a burden as thou didst lay on those before us! Our Lord! Impose not on us that which we have not the strength to bear! Pardon us, absolve us and have mercy on us, Thou, our Protector, and give us victory over the disbelieving folk. [2:286]

Joking

Rulings in Joking

1 – It not should not involve any element of making fun of Islam. 

That is one of the things that nullify a person’s Islam. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“If you ask them (about this), they declare: ‘We were only talking idly and joking.’ Say: ‘Was it at Allaah, and His Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) and His Messenger  that you were mocking?’Make no excuse; you disbelieved after you had believed”
[al-Tawbah 9:65-66]

 

2 – The jokes should only be truthful.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Woe to the one who tells lies to make people laugh, woe to him.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood).

3 – Not scaring people 

Especially those who are very energetic or strong, or who are holding a weapon or a piece of iron, or who take advantage of the darkness and people’s weakness to use that as a means of scaring and alarming them.

4 – Mocking people by winking behind their backs or making snide remarks 

People vary in their ability to understand things and in their characters. Some weak people, those who like to make fun of others and wink behind their backs or make snide remarks, may find a person to be an object of fun for them and the butt of their jokes – Allaah forbid. Allaah has forbidden such behaviour in the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): 

“O you who believe! Let not a group scoff at another group, it may be that the latter are better than the former. Nor let (some) women scoff at other women, it may be that the latter are better than the former. Nor defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. How bad is it to insult one’s brother after having Faith”[al-Hujuraat 49:11]

5 – The jokes should not be excessive.

Some people joke too much and it becomes a habit for them. This is the opposite of the serious nature which is the characteristic of the believers. Joking is a break, a rest from ongoing seriousness and striving; it is a little relaxation for the soul.

“The kind of joking which is forbidden is that which is excessive and persistent, for it leads to too much laughter and hardening of the heart, it distracts from remembrance of Allaah, and it often leads to hurt feelings, generates hatred and causes people to lose respect and dignity.

6 – Acknowledging people’s status 

Some people may joke with everyone indiscriminately, but scholars and the elderly have rights, so you have to be aware of the character of the person with whom you are dealing. You should not joke with ignorant people, fools or people whom you do not know. 

7 – The amount of joking should be like the amount of salt in one’s food. 

 “Whoever laughs too much or jokes too much loses respect, and whoever persists in doing something will be known for it.” So beware of joking, for it “causes a person to lose face after he was thought of as respectable, and it brings him humiliation after esteem.”

8 – It should not involve backbiting. 

This is a foul sickness. Some people think that they can talk about others, and say that this is by way of joking, but it is included in the hadeeth of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), “[Backbiting is] your mentioning about your brother something that he dislikes.” (Narrated by Muslim)

 9 – Choosing appropriate times for joking. 

Such as when you are taking a trip in the countryside, or attending a party in the evening, or when meeting a friend, you may relax and enjoy some gentle anecdotes, nice stories or light jokes, in order to generate friendship and instill happiness in the heart; or when family problems are taking their toll and one of the spouses is angry, some gentle joking may relieve the tension and cheer people up.

O Muslim, 

A man said to Sufyaan ibn ‘Uyaynah (may Allaah be pleased with him), “Joking is not right, it is to be denounced.” He replied, “Rather it is Sunnah, but only for those who know how to do it and do it at the appropriate time.”

Nowadays, although the ummah needs to increase the love between its individual members and to relieve itself of boredom, it has gone too far with regard to relaxation, laughter and jokes. This has become a habit which fills their gatherings and wastes their time, so their lives are wasted and their newspapers are filled with jokes and trivia.

Muslim men and women have to be inclined to choose righteous and serious friends in their lives, who will help them to make good use of their time and strive for the sake of Allaah with seriousness and steadfastness, good and righteous people whose example they can follow.

 

So you have to follow the example of such people, who were knights by day and monks (i.e., devoted worshippers) by night. May Allaah keep us, you and our parents safe on the Day of the Greatest Terror.

Movies

A film, also called a movie or motion picture, is a series of still or moving images. It is produced by recording photographic images with cameras, or by creating images using animation techniques or visual effects. The process of filmmaking has developed into an art form and industry.

 

Watching movies includes looking at things that are haraam, such as seeing ‘awrahs, following immoral actions, or listening to things that are haraam such as music and obscene talk. Undoubtedly it is haraam to watch them in this case.

 

If the movies are free of such things, then there is nothing wrong with watching them, so long as that does not distract one from remembering Allaah or keep one from doing something that is obligatory. 

No distinction is made between documentaries and other kinds of movies.

 

Watching movies has a bad effect on the individual and on the ummah.
These include the following: 

1-    Provocation of desires

 

2-    Propagation of immorality which is made attractive and easily accessible

 

3-    Teaching and justification of crime, and making it familiar to young and old

4-    Corruption of married life, by making the wife seem ugly to the husband and vice versa, by showing images of attractive girls and men

 

5-    Spreading corrupt beliefs .

 

6-    Wasting time and draining away energy, living with illusions far removed from reality.

 

And there are other evil consequences.

 

Temptation

There follow some of the methods by which we can avoid this temptation.

 

1 – Faith in Allaah. 

Faith in Allaah and fear of Allaah provide a safety valve and protect a person against committing haraam actions and following his own whims and desires. 

If the believer becomes aware that Allaah is always watching and if he ponders the meanings of His names and attributes, such as the All-Knowing, the All-Hearing, the All-Seeing, the Watchful, the Reckoner, the Preserver, the All-Encompassing, that will generate fear of Him in secret and in public, and will put a stop to disobedience towards Allaah, and will reduce the strength of desire that leads many people to commit haraam actions.  

2 – Lowering the gaze and avoiding looking at haraam things

The gaze can generate bad thoughts in the heart, which then lead to ideas and then to desires, then to will and resolve, and then inevitably to doing haraam things. Think about the meaning of this verse which makes a connection between the first steps towards haraam and the end result. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allaah is All-Aware of what they do”

[al-Noor 24:30] 

Ibn Katheer said: “This is a command from Allaah to His believing slaves, to lower their gaze and avoid looking at that which is forbidden to them so that they only look at that which they are permitted to look at.  If it so happens that a person’s gaze accidentally falls upon something haraam, he should turn his gaze away from it quickly. 

3 – Warding off evil thoughts 

Bad thoughts pose a danger to the heart… If a person dwells on them and does not push them away, they will develop into an idea, then into will and resolve, then this will inevitably lead to haraam actions.  Beware of dwelling on passing thoughts; rather what you must do is to ward them off and crowd them out with good thoughts. 

The treatment, then, is to ward off these passing thoughts and keep yourself busy with beneficial thoughts. 

4 – Marriage 

It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, and whoever cannot, let him fast, for it will be a shield for him.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5065. 

5 – Fasting for those who cannot afford to get married  

– because of the hadeeth quoted above, in which it says, “…and whoever cannot, let him fast, for it will be a shield for him.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5065. 

Al-Qurtubi said: 

The less a person eats, the weaker his desire becomes, and the weaker his desire is, the less sins he commits. 

6 – Keeping away from bad companions. 

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A man will follow the way of his close friends, so let each one of you look at who he takes as a close friend.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 8433; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 4046. 

7 – Keeping away from places of temptation. 

It is obvious that we are living in a society that is filled with temptation – media of all types, magazines, flirting in the marketplaces, satellite TV, the internet, etc… So you have to flee from all of these in order to keep your religious commitment sound. 

8 – Do not make your houses graves. 

Make your house a reminder of obedience, not of sin. If a room is connected to sin for example, that will make a person commit sin repeatedly, because every time he enters that room he will remember the sin and may be provoked to commit the sin again. So he should make his room and his house a reminder of obedience to Allaah, so when he enters he sees the Mus-haf which he reads, and he remembers praying qiyaam al-layl for Allaah, and the regular Sunnah prayers that he offers in this room. Doing a lot of acts of worship in your house will make a connection in your mind between the house and doing good deeds, so you will do more and will think less of sin, and the calls of desire will grow less. 

9 – Trying to make the most of your time in worshiping and obeying Allaah. 

Time is one of the great blessings that Allaah has bestowed upon His slaves, but there are many who are not making the most of it. It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Two blessings which many people do not make the most of: good health and spare time.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6412. 

10 – Remembering the blessings of the Hereafter. 

Particularly appropriate in this context is remembering al-hoor al-‘iyn and their attributes, whom Allaah has prepared for those who are patient and steadfast in avoiding sin. This can help the Muslim to look at these transient haraam pleasures which only lead to regret and loss.

We advise you not to pay any attention to these whispers, and to ignore them, and to do the opposite of what they are calling you to do. For these whispers (waswaas) come from the Shaytaan to cause grief to those who believe. The best way to deal with them is to remember Allaah a great deal (dhikr), to seek refuge with Allaah from the accursed Shaytaan, to keep away from sins and wrong actions which are the means by which Iblees gains control over the sons of Adam. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Verily, he [the Shaytaan] has no power over those who believe and put their trust only in their Lord (Allaah)”[al-Nahl 16:99]

The kind of waswaas which tempts a person to listen to or look at haraam things or to commit immoral actions, and makes such things appear attractive to him, comes from three sources: the nafs or self which is inclined to evil (Yoosuf 12:53), the devils among the jinn, and the devils among mankind.