Watching Pornography - Islamic Guide To Sexual Relations

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5) Watching Pornography

Is it permitted for a couple to watch pornographic material to stimulate sexual arousal before sex? The answer to this question is an absolute and emphatic "no".

Pornography, whether in the form of motion picture films, movies, novels, plays, pictures or photographs, is without doubt unlawful, shameful and sinful. Islam clearly forbids looking at nudity or watching others have sex. Allah Most High says:

"Say to the believing men that they must lower their gazes and guard their private parts; it is more decent for them. Surely Allah is All-Aware of what they do. And say to the believing women that they must lower their gazes and guard their private parts [ ... ]"

(Qur'an 24:30-31)

In these verses, both men and women are ordered to lower their gazes to avoid seeing the nakedness of others. Even if one's gaze were to fall unintentionally on the nakedness of another, one would be required to look away instantaneously.

Sayyiduna jarir ibn 'Abdullah (r) relates:

"I asked the Messenger of Allah (sa) about an accidental glance, and he commanded me to avert my gaze." (Sahih Muslim 2159 & Sunan al-Tirmidhi 2776, the wording is of Tirmidhi)

Imam Nawawi, in his commentary of the above hadith, says, "The meaning of an "accidental glance" is that a person's glance unintentionally falls upon a non-mahram woman. There is no sin on him for the first glance, but he must avert his gaze immediately. If he averts his gaze immediately, then there is no sin on him, but if he continues looking, he will be sinful due to this hadith, since the Messenger of Allah (sa) commanded the Companion to avert his gaze, and Allah Most High says, "Say to the believing men that they must lower their gazes and guard their private parts." (Al-Minhaj Sharh Sahih Muslim P: 1618)

Moreover, Sayyiduna Abu Sa'id al-Khudri (r) relates that the Messenger of Allah (sa) said:

"A man must not look at the nakedness of another man, and a woman must not look at the nakedness of another woman ... "  

(Sunan al-Tirmidhi 2793)

Jarhad al-Aslami (r) relates that the Messenger of Allah (sa) passed by him whilst his thigh was exposed. The Messenger of Allah (sa) said:

"Cover your thigh, for the thigh is from the nakedness [which must be concealed]."

(Sunan al-Tirmidhi 2798)

Pornographic films do not help a couple's sex life, rather, they destroy it. Pornography is a highly addictive disease that leads invariably to the vice of self-abuse and masturbation. Watching nudity makes men and women incapable of being stimulated from one another naturally. They find it difficult to be aroused by their spouses, whilst they are easily aroused by pornography. This is why pornography is the most common cause for psychological impotence in the world. Muslim couples accustomed to pornography must realize that habitually watching porn will eventually lead to problems in their sex lives. As such, they must at once stop this disgraceful, perverted and immodest habit, if they are to have a prosperous martial life.

6) Cross-Dressing and Transvestism

Cross-dressing basically means dressing in the clothing, under-clothing and sometimes make-up associated with the opposite sex. If cross ­dressing is for sexual reasons, it is called "transvestism". A transvestite derives sexual pleasure from dressing or masquerading in the clothing of the opposite sex. In most cases, the motivation behind transvestism is a form of fetishistic attraction to the clothing and accoutrements of the opposite sex, but it may also have to do with an attraction to the gender role of the opposite sex, symbolised by their clothes. As such, a husband who wears his wife's clothes or underwear, or a wife who dresses up in her husband's clothing or underwear is known as a transvestite.

There is no place for cross-dressing or transvestism in Islam. Playing the role, assuming the character-traits, and wearing the clothes of the opposite gender is severely frowned upon and cursed.

Sayyiduna 'Abdullah ibn Abbas (r) relates:

'The Messenger of Allah (sa) cursed those men who imitate women and those women who imitate men." 

(Sahih al-Bukhairi 5546)

'Abdullah ibn Abbas (r) also relates:

'The Messenger of Allah (sa) cursed effeminate men and masculine women, and said, "Throw them out of your houses." He [Ibn Abbas] said, 'The Messenger of Allah (sa) expelled so and so, and 'Umar expelled so and so."  

(Sahih al-Bukhairi 5547)

Sayyiduna Abu Hurayra (r) relates:

'The Messenger of Allah (sa) cursed the man who wears women's clothes, and the woman who wears men's clothes."  

(Sunan Abi Dawud 4095)

Imam Ibn Hajar al-'Asqalani states in his commentary of Sahih al­Bukhari that it is unlawful for men to imitate women in their dress, adornment, manner of speech and body movements, and vice versa. As far as dress is concerned, he states, this depends on the customs of one's city. Some cultures may not distinguish between men and women's clothing but rather women are distinguished with their hijab and outer cloak [as such, wearing such unisex clothing would be permitted]. As far as the manner of speech and body movements are concerned, only someone who does this deliberately is to be blamed; whilst someone who was created in such a manner is not to be blamed, but he is expected to gradually change his behaviour. If he fails to try and change himself, then he is to be blamed, especially if he is content with such behaviour. Yes, despite trying, if he is unable to change himself, then he is not to be blamed. (Fath al-Bar'i Sharh Sahih al-Bukhari 10:409)

It is clear from the above that it is sinful to intentionally dress like the opposite gender or to assume the character traits of the opposite gender. The evil of such behaviour affects both the individual and society at large, and is a rebellion against the natural ordering of things. There are men and there are women, and each gender has its distinctive characteristics. If men become effeminate and women masculinised, the natural order is reversed and will disintegrate.

Therefore, during sexual relations and foreplay, it is sinful for a husband to act the role of the wife by dressing in her clothes or underwear, and vice versa. The man should be a man and play the role of a man, and the woman must remain a woman and play her own role. Reversing the roles during sexual foreplay is not only sinful and degrading, but it will have a direct influence on the couple's relationship outside of the bedroom.

7) Urolagnia

Urolagnia is an abnormal sexual fetish in which participants derive sexual pleasure from urine and urination. It is a "sexual" act, used as a means of foreplay, which involves one partner urinating "golden shower" over the other partner. Some even go to the extent of drinking their partner's urine!

A sound, normal human being cannot even imagine anyone deriving pleasure from urine and filth. It is a sick and perverted fetish that can never be allowed in Islam. The basis of Islam is cleanliness and purity (tahara). The collections of hadith and books of fiqh are filled with pages dedicated to the rules of avoiding filth. Tahara is the first issue that is addressed in almost every hadith and fiqh work. Purity is half of one's faith and the key to prayer. A believer must remain pure and love pure things, and avoid and dislike impure and filth.

As such, urinating over one's spouse as part of sexual foreplay is, without doubt, impermissible and sinful. Not avoiding splashes of urine is a cause of punishment in the grave. Sayyiduna 'Abdullah ibn Abbas (r) relates:

'The Messenger of Allah (sa) once passed by two graves and said, 'They [in the grave] are being punished not for a great thing to avoid" Then he added, ''Yes, [they are being punished for a great sin], for one of them used to go about with calumnies, while the other never saved himself from the splashes of urine." Ibn Abbas says, "Then he (sa) took a wet green leaf and split it into two pieces, then placed one piece on each of the two graves and said, 'Their punishment may decrease until these two pieces become dry." 

(Sahih al-Bukhar'i 1312)

Sayyiduna Abu Hurayra (r) relates that the Messenger of Allah (sa) said,

"Avoid [the splashes of] urine, for indeed the punishment of the grave is generally due to it." (Sunan al-Daraqutn'i 1:12 8)

According to the jurists of the various schools of Islamic law, it is obligatory to avoid filth except when there is a need, such as cleaning the filth after relieving oneself. This is even more important in the case of urine, since it is decisively filthy and impure. One must avoid smearing oneself with filth in general and with urine in particular. (Hanafi Tahtaw'i 'ala Maraq'i al-Falah P: 152 and Al-Fatawa al-Hind'iyya 1: 50, Maliki’ Hashiya al-Dasuq'i 'ala 'l-Sharh al-Kabir 1: 110, Shafi'i Mughn'I al-Muhtaj 1:127 and Hanbal1: Al-Mughn'i 1:141)

Source: Islamic Guide To Sexual Relations

To Be Continued....

The Philosophy of Gender in Islam

The Philosophy of Genderin Islam

Articles - Women in Islam

Wednesday, 01 Sha'ban 1428

If God is a man, that’s bad news for women – because masculinity would then be divine – and hence only the male would have been created in the divine image. This explains why the feminist revolution has redefined God as being both male and female. Islam declares that Allah Most High created both the male and the female but is neither male nor female. In addition, He never appeared in the person of anyone, male or female. And so neither at point of creation, nor at any time thereafter, has the male ever defined the female in Islam. Islam is thus unique in offering to women the opportunity to pray to a God who is not a man.

Nor has Islam ever discriminated between the male and the female in an unjust way. A woman complained to the Prophet (peace be upon him) that divine revelation in the Qur’an was addressing men only. What about women? she asked. In response, revelation came down in the Qur’an that addressed both men and women in such constant repetition that the matter was conclusively settled that Allah Most High does not discriminate in matters concerning gender in any unjust way. Indeed the blessed Prophet declared that all of mankind (male and female) would stand before Allah on the Last Day “as equal in His sight as are the teeth of a comb.”

The Qur’an has clearly established that men have (a measure of) authority over women, and has obliged a woman to be obedient to her husband (or guardian). In this connection Islam has gone to great lengths to reaffirm the natural order pertaining to the status, role and function of gender in society. Consider the following:

• The Qur’an refers to Allah Most High in the masculine, and never in the feminine gender. (The masculine gender in Arabic does not necessarily connote masculinity.)

• The Prophets sent by Allah to mankind to function as spiritual guides and leaders were all men. There was never a woman Prophet. But there is a perverted European effort which seeks to promote Mary to Prophethood.

• Although angels are neither male nor female the Qur’an gives them male names and denounces those who give them female names.

• When a child is born a thanksgiving feast called ‘Aqiqah’ is held. For a male child two animals must be sacrificed, but a female child requires the sacrifice of only one animal.

• The Prophet said that “the best row (in congregational prayer) for men is the first, and the worse is the last. And the best row for women is the last, and the worse is the first” (Sahih Muslim).

Thus men were placed physically in front of women in prayer for all times. A misguided American woman, in true Yankee style, recently put herself in front of all the Muslim men (the Americans call them guys) and led them in a completely invalid Islamic congregational prayer in a Euro-Christian church. America is a strange place! 

Every morning when the sparkling sunshine envelops us as we welcome the ‘day’ as ‘day’, and every night as we gaze in wonder at the romance of the stars and moonlight and recognize ‘night’ as ‘night’, the splendor and harmonious symphony of gender overwhelms us. It is this that Islam seeks to preserve, even as the essentially godless European world and its carbon copies around the world struggle to overturn it.

Nevertheless Islam does employ a philosophy of gender that reinforces the functional differences of the male and the female in society, and that is the focus of our essay. The Qur’an teaches analogically that as day and night are functionally different yet interdependent, so too are the male and female. The ominous warning is that if this were ever to be changed, if the ‘night’ were to attempt to become ‘day’ and the sacred order of gender were to be overturned, as in the modern feminist revolution, then the anarchy and disintegration of society that would ensue would be equivalent of cosmic mayhem. The process of unraveling of social order has already commenced. The police service knows this quite well. But so many who have eyes yet cannot see, and cannot connect ‘cause’ and ‘effect’.

Source

The Philosophy of Gender in Islam

Woman and Paradise in Islam

Woman and Paradise in Islam

Articles - Women in Islam

Wednesday, 01 Sha'ban 1428

The secular feminist revolution rose upon the world from the West with an essentially godless agenda to liberate women from the “shackles” of the ages by totally transforming her status, role and function in society. In so doing it has turned the previous religious and sacred order upside-down in such a way that the sun now appears to be rising from the west.

Secularism led to materialism which in turn denied woman any reality beyond her material reality. Consequently the young beautiful woman became the goddess of the age. But she was a goddess who was shamelessly exploited in advertising to sell everything. She became a thing enjoyed, exploited, abused, degraded and discarded when her physical beauty and sex appeal began to wane. Then a host of schoolgirls would rush in to replace her. Even the national calypsonian gave his view on the subject quite some time ago when he sang of

the prostitute, “… and if you catch them broken (i.e., in financial difficulty), you can get them all for nothing.”

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) prophesied the deception that would enslave women. He said, “women would be dressed and yet be naked”, thus anticipating an age of increasing feminine nudity that would be integrally linked to the feminist revolution. Carnival bandleaders in Trinidad are now complaining that they cannot use enough cloth to make creative designs since women increasingly demand the skimpiest of costumes. 

The ‘naked’ woman’s body was used to usher a sexual revolution that would culminate, according to the Prophet, with “the majority of children being born out of wedlock” and “people having sexual intercourse in public like donkeys.” When we see sex publicly simulated in Trinidad carnival we know that the feminist revolution will soon climax with woman being transformed into a donkey. Despite this colossal failure, the modern godless world has insisted on opening a ‘gender’ battlefield in quest of ‘equality’ while waging war on Islam. The latest target is the innocent Hijab that is maliciously attacked because it obstructs the way for the Muslim woman to be absorbed into the godless melting pot.

Islam has never sought to put an equal sign between the sexes. ‘Woman’ can neither be studied nor understood in a context independent of ‘man’. The two are inseparable. The Prophet declared that women were “… the twin-halves of men.” The Qur’an confirmed this inter-dependence when it declared “They are your garments, and you are their garments.” 

And in a passage with sublime literary beauty the Qur’an (al-Lail, 92:1-4) first directed attention to the ‘night’ and that which it shrouds and conceals with such mystery and splendor, and then turned to the ‘day’ with its bright light which exposes everything and leaves nothing concealed, and then proceeded to explain that the ‘male’ and the ‘female’ are functionally analogous to the ‘day’ and the ‘night’. In the same way that ‘day’ and ‘night’ are functionally different yet interdependent, so too are the ‘male’ and ‘female’.

When this philosophy of gender was applied to Muslim society the ‘night’ never attempted to become ‘day’. Rather ‘night’ and ‘day’ eternally longed for each other. And so we were never subjected to the abominable phenomenon (that European civilization is now exporting to the rest of the world) of the ‘day’ mating with ‘day’ and vice-versa. 

Women in such a society not only fulfilled all their sacred functional duties as wives and as mothers, and thus contributed in a significant way to preservation of the health, strength and stability of the family, but, in addition, they preserved both their femininity as well as their fertility. And so the Muslim woman remained truly and enchantingly a woman! An age that produced the celibate priest had obstinately insisted that one had to turn away from woman in order to turn to God. Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah Most High be upon him) responded by declaring “Three things have been made dear to me in this world of yours – perfume, women and prayer.” And so Islam rejected both celibacy and the ‘object’ while recognizing woman, like prayer, to be a medium through which a man might journey to paradise.

Source

What Will Women Get In Paradise

Beardless youths

He is attracted to beardless youths; how can he rid himself of this sickness?

I have the problem of being attracted to beardless youths and I have no desire for women. The reason for this may be a bad experience that I had in childhood. I try to be patient as much as I can. I lower my gaze and I know that this is haraam, and I do not regard it as permissible. I ask Allaah for forgiveness and I pray “O Allaah, purify my heart and keep me chaste.” I do not think that marriage is a solution for me, because I have no desire for women. I fast on Mondays and Thursdays. But this is still in my heart. What should I do? Is there anything that will compensate me in Paradise? I ask Allaah to forgive me if there is any transgression in my question. Praise be to Allaah.
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Firstly: 

Remember that this is one of the most serious of problems, and that it may lead a person to doom. It may affect his mind and make him go insane, or it may affect his physical health and make him ill, or it may affect his religious commitment and cause him to be doomed, and lead him to a bad end. So beware of continuing with this and strive hard, seeking the help of your Lord, to rid yourself of this evil inclination, and look at those who have been affected by this so that you may learn a lesson from them. 

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

It is narrated that a man fell in love with someone and became totally infatuated with him, and that love became deeply rooted in his heart until he fell ill, and took to his bed because of it, and that person tried to keep away from him and felt great resentment towards him. Intermediaries kept going between them until he promised to visit him. The sick man was told of that and he rejoiced greatly and his anxiety was dispelled, and he began to look forward to the appointment that had been set. Whilst he was like that, the intermediary came and said: He came part way with me then he went back, but I encouraged him and spoke to him, and he said: He remembered me, and rejoiced about me, but I will not enter because I will not expose myself to accusations. I tried to change his mind but he insisted, and left. When the sick man heard that, he was filled with despair and became worse than he had been before, and appeared to be in the throes of death, and he started saying: 

Your pleasure is dearer to my heart than the mercy of the Almighty, the Creator 

I said: O So and so, fear Allaah. He said: This is how I feel.  

I got up and left, and I had barely passed through the door when I heard the cry of death. 

Allaah forbid that we should meet with a bad end. 

End quote. 

Al-Jawaab al-Kaafi (p. 117) 

What do you think? Would a wise Muslim want to die as that sick lover died, who gave precedence to the pleasure of his beloved over the pleasure of His Creator Who created him and formed him and granted him provision and guided him to Islam, and bestowed upon him blessings both apparent and invisible? If you say that you would not want that – which is what we think you would say – then you should know that you are travelling the same path as him and that there may befall you what befell him, if you do not check yourself.

Remember that this is the path that was first travelled by the people of Loot, namely the love of beardless youths, then Allaah punished them in a way that no nation has been punished before or since. Allaah turned their houses upside down and caused the earth to swallow them up, and He pelted them with stones and took away their sight.

Secondly: 

Remember that there are causes for this calamity, and these causes are things that the afflicted person has brought upon himself. The one who wants to be saved from his predicament must look at these causes and rid himself of them, otherwise he will be content with his situation and unwilling to change it for something that is better. These causes may include the following:

1 – Weakness of faith and lack of love for Allaah in one’s heart, and a lack of fear of His punishment.

2 – Looking freely at beardless youths, and enjoying their beauty and appearance. 

This is the first route that the affected person takes to sin. His Lord has commanded him to lower his gaze and avoid looking at haraam things, and his Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) has enjoined him likewise. If he ignores the command and does that which is forbidden, then Iblees has shot his poisoned arrow into his heart, and finished him off. moral actions.

3 – Falling short with regard to obligatory and naafil acts of worship 

If the person who is afflicted with this problem prays on time, fulfilling the conditions and obligatory parts of prayer, that will be a deterrent that keeps him from falling into evil and immoral ways. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Verily, As‑Salaah (the prayer) prevents from Al‑Fahsha’ (i.e. great sins of every kind, unlawful sexual intercourse) and Al‑Munkar (i.e. disbelief, polytheism, and every kind of evil wicked deed)”

[al-‘Ankaboot 29:45] 

So how about if he regularly performs sunnah and naafil prayers?

4 – Forsaking the Qur’aan and failing to read books about the lives of righteous men and the imams 

The Book of Allaah contains guidance, light and healing; it is the best protection for the Muslim against falling into sin and it is the best remedy for the one who does fall into sin. 

If he reads books about the imams and biographies of the scholars, he can take them as an example and become familiar with their stories and rise above immorality and evil.

5 – Falling short in seeking knowledge 

Knowledge is light, through which one may know what is halaal and do it, and what is haraam and avoid it. Through it he may come to know his Lord, may He be exalted, and His names, attributes and deeds. That will generate in his heart a sense of shyness before his Lord and shyness before His angels, so that he will not want to commit evil and immoral actions. Through knowledge he will come to know the state of sinners and the punishment that Allaah has prepared for them.

6 – A lot of spare time in the lives of those who have this problem 

If they kept themselves busy with acts of worship, sport, permissible actions and seeking knowledge, they would not have time to spend in thinking of haraam things, let alone doing them.

7 – Making friends and keeping company with bad people 

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) likened the bad friend to one who works the bellows: he will either burn his companion’s clothes or he will notice a bad smell coming from him.

8 – Not getting married 

Allaah has created natural desires in man, and He has made the outlet for that in women. The permissible way to do that is marriage. The one who goes against his natural state (fitrah) and diverts that desire towards other males like him, is even lower than the animals, for the animals that Allaah has created are in front of us, and do we ever see any male mounting another male?  

Thirdly: 

The one who wants to deal with his problem and rid himself of it should look for the reasons why he has fallen into the haraam actions of looking, mixing and keeping company with beardless youths, and rid himself of them by giving them up. Trying to treat the problem without addressing the causes of sickness is a remedy that is doomed to failure and will never succeed. There follow some treatment methods for the one who wants to rid himself of this problem and try to free himself from the trap of the shaytaan, and seek the pleasure of Allaah. These include: 

1 – Strengthening one’s faith by means of acts of worship, including fasting, filling one’s heart with love of Allaah, and fearing His punishment. 

2 – Preventing oneself from looking at beardless youths with or without desire, and not keeping company with them or sitting with them at all, and not being alone with them, even for teaching Qur’aan. 

3 – Praying regularly and on time, and being keen to do regular Sunnah and naafil prayers. 

4 – Reciting a portion of Qur’aan regularly, and reciting the adhkaars for morning and evening, and reading about the lives and biographies of the imams. 

5 – Seeking knowledge by reading, listening and watching. This is something that is required of every Muslim. 

6 – Filling one’s time with acts of worship and obedience, and that which will be of benefit in one's spiritual and worldly affairs. 

7 – Shunning bad company and looking for righteous friends to stay close to and benefit from their knowledge and good attitude. 

8 – Seeking to get married straight away, to satisfy one’s desires in a permissible manner. 

9 – Seeking the help of Allaah by calling upon Him and asking Him to save him from this sickness and calamity. 

10 – Thinking about those who have fallen into this haraam kind of love and what it has led to, such as insanity, sickness and apostasy – Allaah forbid.

For more information please see the answer to question no. 27176. 

And Allaah knows best.