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C- Subcategories Within Different Types Of Dreams:
(1)Dreams from Allah سبحانه و تعالى: It is not possible to give a finite number of types of dreams within the categories.Scholars who have written about dreams have mentioned different sub-categories. In type 1 dreams, the diversity of dreams makes it impossible to give a finite list of subcategories which encompass all the dreams seen by the Sahaba, Tabi'een and the pious predecessors which were surely dreams from Allah سبحانه و تعالى. Nevertheless, Al Muhallab رحمه الله has given two broad sub-categories of dreams from Allahسبحانه و تعالى:
(a)Direct dream: something one would see in a dream and the exact scene repeats itself in day-time when you are awake and this dream does not need interpretation.
(b) A dream the comes in symbols and it needs to be interpreted.(Fath ul Baari) Different examples of dreams from Allah within type (a) are :
(i) True Dreams ( رؤيا صادق): Dreams that become a reality. These are the dreams which are the 46 part of prophethood, for the prophet Muhammad had these dreams continously for six months and the total period of his prophethood was 23 years, which makes it 46th part of the total. Different prophets has different periods of Prophethood, but as prophet Muhammad's prophethood was the most complete, hence it is referred to as the 46th part of prophethood, and Allah Knows best.
(ii) Meeting the Arwaah of the Dead in dreams
(iii) Meeting the Arwaah of the living in dreams : Is it possible for two living person's ruh to meet in dreams? This is a subject of difference amongst scholars and Ibn al Qayyim has quoted the various opinions in his book Kitab ur Ruh.
(iv) Glad tidings (مبشرات): A glad tiding for some victory or fulfillment of wish in near or distant future. (See Reference # 9)etc.
Dream from type (b) are actually: Tamseelat (تمثيلات); Dreams which don't convey a clear cut meaning. They are messages in a code superior to that which the brain can cope with. These have to be interpreted through the knowledge of Ta'beer. Within Tamseelat we can have dream which inform us of some near future happening. One can also have dreams that are for distant future (like the dream of Yusuf AS, See reference # 2). Also,these dreams might serve as an encouragement or some warning sometimes.
Note:The sleep of Prophets is unique. As we know the Prophet Muhammad informed us that his 'heart' remained awake even when he slept, so he didn't need to redo ablution on waking up from sleep. Also, he informed us that Allah سبحانه و تعالى fed him during the night, for that reason he kept 'Sawm Al Wisal', which is forbidden for others. So, though prophets are human beings like us but in some regards 'none of us is like them'. Also, Prophet Muhammad informed us that there is a shaitan (jinn) with everyone, but he made the jinn with him a Muslim, by the grace of Allah سبحانه و تعالى. So, the dreams the Prophet had always used to be from Allah. Also, the dreams of Prophets used to be an order from Allah, and were of a legal importance unlike the dream of anyone of us (See Reference # 5).
(2) Dreams from Shaitan: These can be further categorized as:
(a) Dreams which try to make one worried by evoking some fear
(b) Dreams which try to make one worried by evoking hopelessness
(c) Dreams which contain indecency etc.
(3)Dreams from Nafs: Dreams from Nafs also can be categorized as either those who are clear-cut or those who appear in the form of symbols and signs.
(a) As a result of some fear
(b) As a result of constant thinking on some subject
(c) As a result of some extreme pending wish
(d) As a result of some experience you had in near or distant past
(e) Some embedded thought or feeling in corner of mind taking some random shape during dream
(g) As a result of some extreme love or hatred towards someone
In almost
all of the separations, affairs and divorces I’ve seen in my years running
Husband Help Haven, at least one of these 9 'things' is missing from the
marriage.
Too many men today have forgotten
what it means to be a husband. We’ve forgotten our duties as the head of the
family.Today, you’re going to get a
clear-as-day reminder. Every marriage is different, yes,
but ultimately there are some things that EVERY wife needs from her husband. As you read through each ‘thing’, I
want you to ask yourself, “Does my wife get this from me?” If not, the time to change is now. Let’s get started.
1. Every Wife Needs SECURITYFrom Her Husband
To give your wife security means that you give her confidence in the future.
A guy emailed me a
couple weeks ago with a heartbreaking story.
He had lost his job
about 6 months ago. When he emailed me, his family’s bank account was almost
empty and his wife had told him that if he didn’t find a way to make ends meet
by the end of the month, she was going to walk out the door with their daughter
and never come back.
Ouch.
Sounds harsh, right?
But, it’s not really
that surprising. She’d been working a crummy minimum wage job to support the
family, and after six months, she had officially lost faith in her husband and
his ability to keep the family stable.
She lost confidence in
his ability to provide a stable home for the family both now and in the future,
and so she wanted out. Every wife craves a
feeling of security from her husband. Since the beginning of time, man has
provided and protected his family. A husband needs to
give his wife that feeling of stability; no matter what happens, she needs to
know he’s going to make everything okay.
What If Your Wife Is the Primary Income Earner?
This need for security
does NOT mean you have to be the breadwinner. But it does mean that your wife
needs to be able to trust that YOU are going to make sure the family is
provided for, protected and looked after.
Your wife needs to
trust that if, God forbid, someone would lose their job or get injured and be
unable to work, that the family would not be doomed to financial ruin. If you’re NOT the
breadwinner, you must be on top of financial planning. You need to make sure
that the money your wife makes is being used wisely, and that you won’t be out
on the streets if she loses her job.
2. Every Wife Needs CONTENTMENTFrom Her Marriage
Your wife needs to feel that her life inside the
marriage
is both enjoyable and worthwhile.
How do you do that?
How do you create that feeling for your wife? It’s easy…
YOU have to genuinely
believe the life you’re living is enjoyable and worthwhile!
You should enjoy your marriage as
much as this guy enjoys cowboy hats!
When YOU are content
with your marriage and your family, your WIFE will be much more likely to feel
the same way. This means you should
actively enjoy the time you spend with your wife. Be engaged with her and your
kids, if you’ve got any. Look forward to the time you spend with your family.
When you’re home with
them, don’t go into “bored mode” where you’re basically just trying to pass
time until you get to do something you want to do, like watch TV or hop on the
computer. And, don’t ever let
yourself dread the time you spend with your family as just one more obligation…
Your wife will be able to feel the moment you let yourself start thinking that
way.
This Is ESPECIALLY Important If You're In Your Late 30's or 40's
Why?
Because this age-range
is prime time for a midlife crisis.
And, since a midlife
crisis is always rooted in unfulfillment, one of the best ways to combat, or
better yet, prevent it is by leading the way in contentment. I have NEVER seen a
wife fall into a midlife crisis when she felt content and fulfilled in the
marriage.
3. Every Wife Wants to Feel PRIDEin Her Husband (and Family!)
Every little girl dreams of marrying a
prince.
Every wife wants to know she married a great, worthy husband.
Your wife wants to be
proud of her family. She wants to be proud of her husband, the man she has
committed her life to.
And why wouldn’t she?
When you’re married,
two become one. If your wife can be proud of you, then that means that she can
be proud of herself. When she can be proud of her marriage, this helps her feel
all the other things listed in this article!
Obviously, every
husband has his flaws...
But, you don’t have to
be perfect for your wife to be proud of the man she married. You just have to
do the things that a husband is supposed to do! The good news is that
it’s easier to stand out as a great husband today than it’s ever been, simply
because so few men today have any idea what it means to lead in marriage.
It’s sad, but true.
By showing your wife
that you’re one of the rare breed of men are capable of going above and beyond
for their marriage and family, you WILL stand out, and she WILL be proud of
you. It’s not rocket science!
4. Every Wife Needs SUPPORTFrom Her Husband
She can count on you to be the one always standing in her corner.
Your wife needs to
know that you are always on her side.
She needs to know that
you’ve got her back.
She needs you to be
the shoulder she can lean on when times get tough.
This doesn’t mean that
you have to agree on every single decision in the marriage. The type of support
we’re talking about here is not necessarily for things INSIDE the marriage
relationship, but for things OUTSIDE it.
For example...
If your wife has an extremely
stressful day at work, she needs to be able to come home and know that you
will care about her day.
If your wife is feeling
overwhelmed with parenting, she needs to be able to trust that you can
relieve her.
If your wife gets into a big
disagreement with one of her friends or relatives, she needs to know that
you will be on her side.
Basically, your wife
needs to know that you’re always going to be there to support her and hear her
out. Whatever trials she
ever faces in her life, she needs to feel like you are the foundation on which
she can stand when everything else is falling apart.
5. Every Wife Needs FRIENDSHIPFrom Her Husband
Every wife should enjoy spending time
with her husband.
A friend is someone
who you enjoy spending time with. Ideally, husband and wife are each other’s
best friend!
This means the alone
time you get with your wife should not be centered only on the bedroom, or
talking about family duties.
Of course, life is busy
and especially if you have kids, a lot of alone time you and your wife get is
going to be devoted to them. But, not ALL of it.
You and your wife
should be able to spend time together as friends too, whether that means
shooting the breeze together or doing something that you both enjoy.
6. Every Wife Needs Her Husband to Make Her Feel BEAUTIFUL
Every woman wants to
feel beautiful. It's your job to make your wife feel like a catch!
Again, there is
something primal about this, because truly every woman wants to feel beautiful.
In fact, you could argue that every woman believes they ARE beautiful,
and they want the man they married to recognize it.
Unfortunately, many
women (and men) struggle with self-confidence about their looks. It is your job
to combat that little voice inside your wife that tells her she’s not
beautiful.
She needs to know that
you count yourself extremely lucky to have her as your wife; you need to make
her feel like the amazing catch that she is!
But!
Remember that beauty
is more than just outward appearance.
Make sure you
appreciate the physical, intellectual and spiritual beauty of your wife, and
make sure she knows it!
This doesn’t just have
to be something you do with words… Your actions can communicate how beautiful
you find your wife too. If your wife’s love language is NOT words of
affirmation, then get creative!
The important thing is
that your wife gets that feeling of beauty from you, one way or another.
7. Every Wife Needs INTIMACYFrom Her Husband
Every woman needs that
indescribable feeling of closeness from her husband.
Just to be clear, when
I say intimacy, I’m NOT just talking about sex.
Intimacy is that
feeling of closeness that a man and woman are meant to experience inside of a
marriage. True intimacy is the manifestation of deep love between two people,
and it doesn’t always have to be physical. Giving your wife
intimacy is about the feeling you create for her, not the physical actions that
you do.
Yes, intimacy DOES
include sex. When you have sex with your wife, you should get that feeling of
closeness, coziness, of unbridled love. But, sex isn’t the only form of
intimacy.
Here are some other
ways to create and maintain intimacy:
You can create intimacy for
your wife through non-sexual physical affection.
You can give her that feeling
of intimacy by understanding
her as a person;
show her that you understand her goals, her wants, or even her peeves.
You can create that feeling of
intimacy by engaging
her on an intellectual level;
by challenging her and/or talking to her about something she has deep
knowledge of.
Or, you can create that feeling
on a spiritual level… One of the ways my wife and I stay intimate is by praying
together every night WITHOUT
our daughter. This time is husband-wife time, not parent time.
8. Every Wife Needs Her Husband to Step Up as a FATHER
You need to be more
than just the leader of your marriage; you need to be the leader of your
family!
We have a severe
father problem in our society today.
Way too many kids are growing
up without a proper father figure. Many kids grow up without any father at all.
For many of you, your
own lack of male role models growing up is a big reason that you’re here on
this site!
If you want your kids
to have a happy, healthy and fulfilling marriage when they grow up, then you
MUST take your job as father seriously.
But, it’s not just
your kids that need you to be the father of the family… Your wife does too! She
needs you to not only be her leader, but leader to your children too.
How to S.P.E.L.L. Fatherhood
In Manly Marriage Revival,
I give you an acronym to help you remember your responsibilities as father. The
acronym is SPELL:
Strong – Always remain positive, confident and respectful in front of
your kids. When you make decisions as a father, stand firm in them. When you
say yes, it means yes. When you say no, it means no. You are “the Dad”.
Present – You are there for your kids. You get lots of face time with
them.
But, remember that
being present is about more than just physically being around your kids… A
father must be present mentally and emotionally too. When you’re spending time
with your kids, they get your full attention. Reinforce that they’re worthy of
attention.
Encouraging – A good father is constantly uplifting his kids. He wants them
to be confident. He wants to be a constant source of positivity. He isn’t
cynical or negative.
Always look for
opportunities to encourage your children… And not just generic encouragement
like “Great job!” or “You did awesome!” Look for specific ways to praise your
children.
Loving – Pretty straightforward one here… A father loves his kids and
his kids know that he loves them. This is communicated through both words and
actions.
Leader – Finally, a good father leads his family, and his kids see him
as the family’s leader.
If you can hit all
five of these, I can virtually guarantee you that your marriage will improve. When
you're ACTIVE as a father, your wife will find you ATTRACTIVE as a husband.
9. Every Wife Needs LEADERSHIPFrom Her Husband
This is what it all
comes down to.
Your wife NEEDS you to
be a leader.
And not a leader in
the traditional “alpha male” sense of the word...
She needs you to be a
servant-leader… The type of leader who takes his job so seriously that he
makes sacrifices for the benefit of those he serves.
This isn’t begging.
This isn’t submission. Those two things are borne out of weakness and
self-interest.
She needs to know that
she can count on you to see the family to their betterment; a leader puts the
cause (in this case, the family) ahead of himself, and that’s what you need to
do for your wife. Your wife needs a leader
in her marriage. Even if she doesn’t know it. Even if she doesn’t want it. She
needs it, and she will love it once she sees it.
How many of these 9 things are you
providing for your wife?
Which ones do you need to work on?
If you want to get a head start on
giving your wife each of these 9 things in your marriage, then be sure to check
out the free PDF workbook that goes along with this post:?
