Warning - Contents may have images/information that some viewers may find disturbing. Proceed with caution. One of the principles of sharee’ah (law) is that whatever leads to haraam deeds is itself haraam, so everything that leads to the provocation of haraam desires is haraam, because it may lead to a person falling into evil things. If you feel erotic while reading the post, please leave/close the page.
IN THE PRECEDING pages, an
attempt was made to shed light on issues concerning the sexual relationship of
a husband and wife in light of the Qur'an, Prophetic statements and texts of
both classical and contemporary scholars. It has not been easy to discuss such
a delicate topic in an open and frank manner, given the nature of the topic and
given the natural bashfulness of a human being.
However, upon seeing many of
our classical and contemporary scholars not only discussing these issues but
explaining the finer details of it too, I embarked on this journey keeping in
mind the statement of Allah Most High, "Surely, Allah is not shy of
[expounding] the truth" and keeping in mind the statement of the Tabi'i,
Mujahid, "Sacred knowledge is not gained by a shy or an arrogant
person". I felt it was of paramount importance that Muslims seek Islamic
knowledge relating to all areas of their lives, and that they do not shy away
from certain aspects of it because of cultural taboos or constraints.
I hope I have gone some way
towards achieving what I had set out to do. I pray this work is a source of
much benefit for married couples, Insha 'Allah. I ask Allah Most High to
make it purely for His sake, and that He forgive me for any mistakes that may have
been committed, Amin Ya Rabb al-'Alamin.
The urge for knowledge can be irresistible. But knowledge is a
rather unfathomable ocean, in its breadth and its depth. I can find
myself , at times, diving too deep and ignoring the bigger picture, and
at times flying too high to get the real sense of any dimension. It can
seem like an impossible trade-off, with only one certain outcome which
is the inevitability of my ignorance. As important it is for me to learn
consciously with a set direction, it is equally important, if not more,
that I realise and to some level commit to what I cannot learn. This is
by virtue of limitations of my finite term in sheer contrast with the
infinity of sea of knowledge.
“The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing” (Socrates 470-399 BC)
[Quran 2:54] Recall that Moses said to
his people, "O my people, you have wronged your souls by worshiping the
calf. You must repent to your Creator. You shall kill your egos. This is better
for you in the sight of your Creator." He did redeem you. He is the
Redeemer, Most Merciful.
What
is this thing called "ego" which God advises us to kill? We all have
a feeling of what it is, but Western culture has confused the issue for us. The
dictionary definition of ego is almost useless, perhaps even harmful:
The
thinking, feeling and acting self that is conscious of itself and aware of its
distinction from the selves of others and from the objects of its thought and
other operations.
That sounds harmless enough, doesn’t it? But is it really? Interestingly, even
the dictionary suggests the Quranic truth. The word "distinction" is
the key here. The very word implies that some are better than others, and thus
should be followed in preference to others. But the messengers are just
vehicles for God’s guidance, and it is that guidance we must follow, not the
individuals themselves. In the same way, making a distinction between others
and ourselves implies that one or the other is inherently better. Yet we know
that the only thing which distinguishes the people is righteousness:
O people, we created you from the same
male and female, and rendered you distinct peoples and tribes, that you may
recognize one another. The best among you in the sight of God is the most
righteous. God is Omniscient, Cognizant (49:13).
And
even righteousness comes from God alone:
[Quran 74:56] They cannot take heed
against God's will. He is the source of righteousness; He is the source of
forgiveness.
Our
ego directs us to make distinction among our self and others, making us better
than them in our own eyes. It is also the piece that makes us feel that we have
some power, control or influence over things. It is the piece that gives
importance to our personal opinions, to our grudges, to our desires.
The ego is that piece which got us into trouble in the first place when we did
not stand up for God’s absolute power during the heavenly feud! It is because
of it that we are going through this life—the make-up test.
The Quran gives us examples of the result of following our egos rather than
killing them. It teaches us that it was ego that provoked Adam’s son Cain into
murdering his brother Abel (5:30). Through the example of the governor’s wife
who had tempted Joseph it teaches us that "the self is an advocate of
vice" (12:53).
Following
our ego puts us in danger of being covered by the following verse:
[Quran 47:14] Are those enlightened by
their Lord the same as those whose evil works are adorned in their eyes, and
they follow their own opinions?
Following
our ego causes us to be arrogant to the extent of rejecting God’s messengers:
[Quran 2:87] ...Is it not a fact that
every time a messenger went to you with anything you disliked, your ego caused
you to be arrogant? Some of them you rejected, and some of them you killed.
Finally,
we are given the example of David whose repentance was reinforced with God’s
teaching to
[Quran 38:26] ...rule among the people
equitably, and do not follow your personal opinion, lest it diverts you from
the way of God"
Humility
is antithesis of ego. Its importance is emphasized throughout the scriptures.
(See also 17:37
and 25:63):
[Quran 31:18-19] You shall not treat
the people with arrogance, nor shall you roam the earth proudly. God does not
like the arrogant showoffs "Walk humbly and lower your voice - the ugliest
voice is the donkey’s voice."
Man’s
pride causes his humiliation, but he who is humble of spirit obtains honor.
(Proverbs 29 verse 23) God teaches us that the ego can become an idol and the
consequences can be detrimental for our salvation. Those who idolize their
selves or egos may be sent astray by God, despite the knowledge they acquired:
[Quran 25:43] Have you seen the one
whose god is his own ego? Will you be his advocate?
[Quran 45:23] Have you noted the one
whose god is his ego? Consequently, God sends him astray, despite his
knowledge, seals his hearing and his mind, and places a veil on his eyes. Who
then can guide him, after such a decision by God? Would you not take heed?
How
do we go about killing our egos? God gives us many means of working at this.
For example, advice has been given to us to use criticism from someone else to
kill the ego. Even if it was not correct, you have used it constructively.
(Easier said than done though!) Every time we make a mistake, then repent and
try to make amends, we are killing our ego. Every time we take ourselves to
task for not being as eager to work righteousness, for not being
straightforward, for backsliding, for falling into gossip or vain talk, we are
killing our ego.
Sadly, the ego is like a hearty weed. Just when you think you have it licked,
it sprouts right back up again. We must remember that God is the only one who
really can do anything—including killing our ego. However, it is us who must
make the initial decision to improve ourselves:
[Quran 13:11] ...God does not change
the condition of any people unless they themselves make the decision to
change...
Whenever you
want to pursue the truth and verify anything you hear about Islam, we urge you
to please use the only valid and divine source of Islam, Quran.
“You
will find (time and again) that the most hostile of all people to the Believers
(i.e., Muslims) would be the Jews and those who are idol-worshippers or pagans;
and nearest among them in love to the Believers would be those who say, ‘We are
Christians’, because amongst these are men devoted to learning and men who have
renounced the world, and they are not arrogant.”
(Qur’an, al-Maidah, 5:82)
Before we return to an examination of the most ominous of
divine prophecies that has already been fulfilled, i.e., that Allah Most High
will bring the Jewish people back to the Holy Land when the last ‘count down’
for their punishment begins, it is necessary for us to look at the subject of
‘Ishmael (‘alaihi al-Salam), the Arabs and the Holy Land’. The subject
is important since the Zionist Movement achieved the restoration of the State
of Israel by forcing an exodus of Arabs from the Land and from their homes.
They could not have dared to do that without some scriptural justification.
However that scriptural justification on which they relied was a falsehood and
a forgery that was perpetrated in the name of the God of Abraham (‘alaihi
al-Salam).The Zionists knew that it
was a falsehood and they exploited it to the hilt.It is that subject which we now address in
this chapter.
Allah The Almighty forbids us from mocking people as
He Says (what means): {O you who have believed, let
not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them}[Quran
49:11] Adh-Dhahhaak said,
This verse was revealed when members of the Banu
Tameem delegation were mocking the poor Companions like ‘Ammaar, Khabbaab,
Bilaal, Suhayb, Salmaan, and Saalim the slave of Abu Huthayfah, may Allah be
pleased with all of them, because of their shabby clothes. But there are other
opinions as well. It was said that this verse was revealed when ‘Ikrimah ibn
Abu Jahl, may Allah be pleased with him, came to Madeenah as a Muslim and the
people there would call him the ‘Son of the pharaoh of this Ummah’ whenever
they saw him. So, he complained to the Prophet and this verse was revealed. It was also said that this verse was
revealed when Thaabit, may Allah be pleased with him, ridiculed a man because
of his mother in Jaahiliyyah [pre-Islamic ignorance] and the man was disgraced.
Commenting on this verse, Al-Qurtubi said, “Allah says here that those who believe in
Him and in His Messenger should not ridicule other believers as they may be better than them.
Also, women should not ridicule each other for the same reason.”
He also said, “Allah is referring here to
all sorts of mockery in this prohibition for the believers. Hence, it is
impermissible for any believer to mock another believer: either for being poor,
or for a sin that he has committed, or for any other reason.”
Al-Qurtubi added,
In general, no one should dare to ridicule another
person even if that person was shabby, handicapped or inarticulate, for that
person may be more sincere or may have a purer heart than the one who is not
shabby or handicapped or inarticulate. In this case, ridiculing such a person
would be despising someone whom Allah has honored. The righteous predecessors
were keen on avoiding this to the extent that ‘Amr ibn Shurahbeel said, “If I saw a man suckling a goat and laughed at
him, I would fear that I might end up doing the same thing.” It was reported
that ‘Abdullaah ibn Mas’ood, may Allah be pleased with him, said that
affliction depends on what a person says. Hence, he said that if he mocked a
dog, he would fear that he would be turned into a dog.
In his commentary on the verse (which means): {But you took them in mockery to the point that they made
you forget My remembrance, and you used to laugh at them}[Quran
23:110], Al-Qurtubi said that this verse is a warning against mocking,
despising or ridiculing the weak and the needy to the point that it would make
us forget remembering Allah and would thus keep us far from Him. In a Hadeeth
on the authority of ‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, she said, “I
said to the Prophet ‘It is enough for you that Safiyyah is such-and-such [meaning that she
was short].’ The Prophet replied:‘You have said a word that could
adulterate the water of the sea if it were mixed with it.’”She also said, “I once imitated a man before him
[ridiculing him] and He said:‘I would never like to
imitate anyone, even if I were to get such- and-such [a reward for it].’”
[Abu Daawood and At-Tirmithi]
Another example is when Abu Tharr, may Allah be
pleased with him, abused a man by calling his mother bad names, the Prophet, , said to him:“O Abu Tharr! Did you abuse
him by calling his mother bad names? You still have some characteristics of
Jaahiliyyah in you.”[Al-Bukhari]
In a Hadeeth on the authority of Umm Haani’,
may Allah be pleased with her, the Prophet, , said about the verse (which means): {and
commit in your meetings [every] evil} [Quran 29:29] that they used
to despise and mock people. [Ahmad and At-Tirmithi]
The polytheists of Makkah like Abu Jahl, Al-Waleed
ibn Al-Mugheerah and their likes would mock ‘Ammaar, Suhayb, Bilaal and other
poor believers; hence, Allah The Almighty revealed the verse (which means): {Indeed, those who committed crimes used to laugh at
those who believed.} [Quran 83:29]
It was said that ‘Ali, may Allah be pleased with
him, was once walking with a number of Muslims and some hypocrites mocked them
and they exchanged derisory glances. When they returned to their people,
they said, “We have seen the bald one [i.e., ‘Ali, may Allah be pleased with
him] today.” Hence, the above mentioned verse was revealed before ‘Ali, may
Allah be pleased with him, reached the Prophet, to inform him of what had happened .
Sarcasm
and Derision are Forms of Mockery
Sarcasm and derision are forms of mockery. An
example of this is when one derides another for being poor, handicapped or for
committing a sin. Moreover, calling people by offensive nicknames is another
example of mockery. Al-Qurtubi said that calling people by offensive nicknames
means calling them by names or attributes that they hate. Allah The Almighty
generalized this rule and did not specify certain nicknames. It is
impermissible for any Muslim to call his fellow brother by any nickname or any
attribute that he hates. Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule
[another] people; perhaps they may be better than them.} [Quran
49:11]
There are several stories as to the revelation of
this verse. Anas and Ibn Zayd, may Allah be pleased with them, said that the
above mentioned verse was revealed when some of the wives of the Prophet, , ridiculed Safiyyah, may Allah be pleased with her, for being short. It
was also said that this verse was revealed when ‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased
with her, indicated by her hand to the Prophet, , that Safiyyah, may Allah be pleased with her, was short. Moreover,
‘Ikrimah and Ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allah be pleased with them, said that this verse
was revealed when Safiyyah bint Huyayy, may Allah be pleased with her, said: “O
Messenger of Allah! The women ridicule me and say to me, ‘O Jew...’”All
these examples show that calling people by offensive nicknames is a form of
mockery.
They were mentioned in the verse as a way of mentioning the specific
cases after the general rule in order to emphasize its importance. The scorner
is the person who harms people by his tongue, while the mocker is the one who
winks with his eyes. Ibn Kaysaan said that the scorner is the one who hurts others
with bad words, while the mocker is the one who points to others with his eyes,
his head and his eyebrows.
The
Difference Between Mocking and Ridiculing
There are two differences between them. The first is
that ridiculing can be done by deeds or words, whereas, mocking is done only by
deeds. The second is that ridiculing is usually preceded by an act that causes
its doer to be an object of ridicule, while mocking is not preceded by such an
act. Mocking is usually accompanied by words that are uttered with a bad
intention. It occurs when the person seems to be serious while he conceals
joking. As-Saffaareeni said,
“Mocking people and ridiculing them are
prohibited because Allah The Almighty Says (what means):{O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule
[another] people; perhaps they may be better than them} [Quran 49:11]
Moreover, the Prophet prohibited this in many Hadeeths.”
Ridicule and the Germs of Arrogance and Pride
Only those whose souls are impure because of
arrogance and pride ridicule others. They endeavor to hurt others because of
the feeling of superiority that runs in their diseased veins. Satan ridiculed
Aadam (Adam), may Allah exalt his mention, and said, “I am better than him”
and so he became a loser. Had he thought carefully of the characteristics of
Aadam, may Allah exalt his mention, he would have realized that Aadam, may
Allah exalt his mention, was superior to him.
Mockery is one of the diseases of
Jaahiliyyah that should be avoided, especially at times of conflict and
disputes. It is one of the characteristics of the disbelievers and the
hypocrites that leads to the disunity of the society. In fact, it is an overt
violation of the Commands of Allah The Almighty, and it keeps one away from the
pleasure of Allah. Moreover, it makes one forget to remember Allah and causes
him to be inflicted with His punishment.
