8. OTHER "FORMS" OF SEX - Islamic Guide To Sexual Relations

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-8- OTHER FORMS OF SEX

IN THE LAST few pages, matters relating to actual play have been discussed in considerable detail, from privacy up to ejaculation. There now remains certain other forms of sex, so it is important to understand the Islamic viewpoint on them.

1) Anal Sex

It was discussed earlier in the section on sexual positions that it is permitted for the couple to choose any position they like for sex, but subject to one condition, that it must be vaginal sex.

As far as anal sex is concerned, it is categorically forbidden in Islam and is a major sin by consensus because of the explicit texts clearly establishing this. There are also grave spiritual and established physical and psychological harms in anal sex. It is an unnatural and repulsive act that simply has no place in a Muslim's sex life. It is a practice of those whose nature has been distorted to prefer that which is filthy to that which is pure. Not only is anal sex sinful and harmful, it also violates the right of the wife, who is entitled to having offspring through vaginal sex with her spouse. Allah Most High says:

"They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: "It is an impurity. So keep away from women during menstruation; and do not approach them until they are cleansed. But when they are cleansed, then approach them from where Allah has commanded you. Surely Allah loves those who are most repenting, and loves those who keep themselves pure.

Your wives are tillage for you to cultivate. So approach your tillage from where you wish, but do some good act for yourselves beforehand; and fear Allah, and know that you are to meet Him, and give glad tidings to the believers."

(Qur'an 2: 222-223)

In the above verses, Allah Most High gives impurity as the reason for prohibiting sex during menstruation. Once a woman is cleansed from the impurity of blood, Allah Most High permits having sex with her but "from where Allah has commanded you" meaning in the vagina. This is further elucidated in the term "harth" used in the second verse. As vaginal sex is prohibited during menstruation because of temporary filth, being menstrual blood, then anal sex is undoubtedly unlawful since the anus is always polluted with filth.

Moreover, the term harth (tillage) indicates that it is only permissible to have sex with one's wife in the vagina, as this is the only route through which the seeds are cultivated, and not the anus, since it is a place of filth and impurity. (Al-Tibb al-Nabawi P: 187) 

The Messenger of Allah (sa) also emphatically prohibited anal sex in many hadiths.mSayyiduna 'Abdullah ibn Abbas (r). relates that the Messenger of Allah (sa) said:

"Allah shall not [even] look [with kindness] at any man who enters another man or a woman in the anus." (Sunan al-Tirmidhi 1165)

Sayyiduna Abu Hurayra (r) relates that the Messenger of Allah (sa) said:

"Cursed is he, who enters a woman in her anus." ( Sunan Abi Dawud 2155 and others)

The meaning of "being cursed (mal’un)" is that one is distant from Divine Mercy, and an object of Divine Dislike. The Messenger of Allah (sa) cursed certain matters so that we take heed and avoid them. Sayyiduna Khuzayma ibn Thabit (r) relates that the Messenger of Allah (sa) said:

"Allah is not ashamed of the truth [saying this thrice]. Do not enter women in their anuses." (Sunan Ibn Majah 1924, Musnad  Ahmad & others)

Sayyiduna Aba Hurayra (r) relates that the Messenger of Allah (sa) said:

"Allah shall not look [with kindness] at a man who enters his wife in the anus." (Sunan Ibn Majah 1923, Musnad Ahmad and others)

These, and many other, evidences are clear in the prohibition of anal sex even with one's own wife. This is in addition to the fact that anal sex causes undue pain and is a source of many diseases widespread in today's promiscuous society.

As such, it is unlawful and sinful for the husband to penetrate in his wife's anus. However, it is permitted for him, under normal circumstances, to touch the surrounding and outside area of the anus, even by rubbing his penis in between her buttocks or groin, as long as there is no penetration and as long as that area is not soiled with filth.

The husband is permitted to touch and caress any part of his wife's body which includes the area outside of the anus. This, however, is only permitted if he is certain of avoiding penetration, otherwise abstaining from that area altogether is necessary. (See: Mughni al-Muhtaj 3:181, Hashiya al-Dasuqi 'ala' 'l-Sharh al-Kabir 2:342 and Usul al-Mu'ashara al­Zawjiyya P: 82)

Source: Islamic Guide To Sexual Relations

To Be Continued....

Sexual Act - Islamic Guide To Sexual Relations

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ACTUAL PLAY

6) Sexual Positions (ways in which spouses physically position themselves for sex)

When it comes to selecting a suitable position for sex, Islam grants the couple a general permission to choose whatever position they mutually agree upon, provided it is vaginal sex and not anal sex-which is clearly forbidden, as will be discussed later. A couple may find a particular method of having sex to be more comfortable and pleasurable, whilst another couple may feel at ease with a different position altogether. As such, it is left to the couple to decide on the position most suited to them, taking into account physical comfort, satisfaction and enjoyment. Allah Most High says:

''Your wives are tillage for you to cultivate. So approach your tillage from where you wish, but do some good act for yourselves beforehand; and fear Allah."

(Qur'an 2:223)

In this verse, Allah Most High uses the expression harth which means tillage or place of cultivation. The analogy between women and tillage indicates that it is only permissible to have sex with one's wife in her vagina, since this is the only way for the seeds to be cultivated and for her to conceive. However, in order to reach that place, any position or side can be adopted, whether from the front, the back or her prostrating and facing the ground (Al-Minhaj Sharh Sahih Muslim P: 1084).

Moreover, there are many reports found in hadith literature that explain this verse, and mention its circumstance of revelation (sabab al-nuzul)  Some are presented here: Sayyiduna Jabir ibn 'Abdillah (r) relates:

The Jews used to say, "If a man were to approach his wife from behind [but] in her vagina, the child [that she conceives] would be born cross-eyed, so the verse was revealed: "Your wives are tillage for you to cultivate. So approach your tillage from where you wish." 

(Sahih al-Bukhari 4254, Sahih Muslim 1435 &  

Sunan al­Tirmidhi 2978, the wording is of Muslim)

Sayyiduna 'Abdullah ibn Abbas (r) relates:

'Umar (r) came to the Messenger of Allah (sa) and said, "O Messenger of Allah! I have been doomed." He said, 'What is it that has doomed you?" He said, "I changed my saddle last night [referring to having sex with his wife from behind but in the vagina]." The Messenger of Allah (sa) did not say anything until this verse was revealed unto the Messenger of Allah (sa): ''Your wives are tillage for you to cultivate. So approach your tillage from where you wish." So he said, "Approach her from the front or back, but avoid the anus and [the period of] menstruation." (Sunan al­Tirmidhi 298o and Nasa'i in his Ishrat al-Nisa '94)

Sayyiduna 'Abdullah ibn Abbas (r) relates:

" ... This clan of the Ansar, who were idolaters [before Islam], lived in the company of the Jews who were the people of the Book. They [the Ansar] accepted their [i.e the Jews] superiority over themselves in respect to knowledge, and so followed most of their actions. The people of the Book [i.e. the Jews] used to approach their women on one side alone [i.e. lying on their backs], because this was the most concealing position for the woman. So the clan of the Ansar adopted this practice from them. This tribe of the Quraysh, [however], used to uncover their women completely, and seek pleasure with them from the front, from the back and laying them on their backs. When the Muhajirun (the immigrants) came to Al-Madina, one of them married a woman of the Ansar.  He wanted to do the same kind of things with her [i.e. what the Quraysh were accustomed to], but she objected and said, "We were only approached on one side [i.e. laying on the back], so do that otherwise stay away from me." This matter of theirs spread widely, and reached the Messenger of Allah (sa) So Allah Most High revealed: ''Your wives are tillage for you to cultivate. So approach your tillage from where you wish." Meaning from the front, from behind or laying on the back. But this verse meant the place of the delivery of the child [i.e. the vagina]." 

( Sunan Abi Dawud 2157)

Umm Salama (r) relates from the Messenger of Allah (sa) regarding the verse: "Your wives are tillage for you to cultivate. So approach your tillage from where you wish" that:

"It means one opening only [i.e. the vagina]."  

(Sunan al-Tirmidh'i 2979)

The verse of the Qur'an and the explanatory hadiths clearly indicate that the couple are permitted to have sex in any position they wish, without restriction. The examples of sexual positions cited in these hadiths indicate diversity and not limitation. As such, any other position the couple choose is perfectly fine. However, the condition is that it is vaginal and not anal sex, as this is absolutely unlawful.

Source: Islamic Guide To Sexual Relations

To Be Continued....

Sexual Relations during Menstruation (haydh) and Post-Natal Bleeding ( nifas)

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SEXUAL RELATIONS DURING MENSTRUATION (HAYD)

AND POSTNATAL BLEEDING (NIFAS)

1)      Having sex during menstruation is absolutely and emphatically unlawful (haram) as established by the explicit text of the Qur'an and numerous Prophetic hadiths. There is complete scholarly consensus (ijma') within the Muslim Umma on this. Allah Most High says:

'They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: "It is an impurity. So keep away from women during menstruation; and do not approach them until they are cleansed. But when they are cleansed, then approach them from where Allah has commanded you. Surely Allah loves those who are most repenting, and loves those who keep themselves pure."

(Qur'an 2:222)

Sayyiduna Anas (r) relates:

"Among the Jews, when a woman menstruated, they did not eat with her, nor did they live with menstruating women in their houses. So the Companions of the Messenger of Allah (s) asked the Messenger of Allah (s) [regarding this practice], so Allah Most High revealed: "They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: "It is an impurity. So keep away from women during menstruation" till the end of the verse. Thus, the Messenger of Allah (s) said, "Do everything except for sex."  

(Sahih Muslim 302)

Sayyiduna Abu Hurayra (r) relates from the Messenger of Allah (sa) that he said:

"The one who has sex with a menstruating woman, or with a woman in her anus, or who goes to a fortune-teller, has disbelieved (kufr) in that which was revealed to Muhammad (sa)"  

(Sunan al-Tirmidhi 135)

The "kufr'' mentioned in this hadith is to indicate the severity (taghliz)  of these actions, in that sex during menstruation, anal sex and accepting as true what a fortune-teller says are acts that are close to disbelief. Others hold that if these acts are carried out whilst considering them to be lawful (istihlalan), one would leave the fold of Islam without doubt. (See: Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi bi Sharh Jami’ al-Tirmidhi 1:440)

Imam Nawawi states, "Having actual sex with one's spouse [during menstruation] is unlawful by the consensus of the Muslims due to the explicit texts of the Qur'an and Sunna. Our scholars state that a Muslim who considers having actual vaginal sex with a menstruating woman as lawful has become a disbeliever (kafir) and an apostate (murtad). Someone who indulges in this without considering it to be lawful, and does it forgetfully (nisyan), or without knowing that the woman was menstruating, or is ignorant of its prohibition, or was compelled, then no sin was committed and he is not required to expiate for it. However, if he has sex with her deliberately, knowing that she is menstruating, knowing of its prohibition and with a free choice, then he has certainly committed a major sin (kabira). Imam Shafi'i (may Allah have mercy on him) has stressed that it is a major sin, and sincere repentance is necessary." (Al-Minhaj Sharh Sahih Muslim P: 366)

Sex during menstruation is also harmful from a medical point of view. Research has discovered that menstrual flow contains certain toxic substances that can be detrimental if they enter into the male body or are prevented a clear passage of flow from the female body. This can occur when having sex while the woman is menstruating. Hence, sex during menstruation has resulted in an increase in both men and women being inflicted with various types of painful and often fatal blood-borne diseases. (African journal of Reproductive Health Vol. 8,No. 2,Aug. 2004 pp. 55-58)

As such, the spouses must completely avoid sex during the period of menstruation. If they ever engage in it, they must sincerely repent and ask Allah Most High for forgiveness. They should also give something in charity as a form of expiation.

Sayyiduna 'Abdullah ibn Abbas (r) relates from the Messenger of Allah (s) regarding a man who has sex with his wife while she is menstruating that:

"He should give a half dinar in charity." (Sunan al-Tirmidh'i 136)

The majority of the classical scholars, including Imam Abu Hanifa, Imam Malik and Imam Shafi'i (may Allah have mercy on them all), consider giving something in charity to be optional, and not a requirement for the acceptance of one's repentance (tawba). As such, seeking forgiveness from Allah Most High is sufficient. However, Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal (may Allah have mercy on him) and some others hold that giving something in charity is necessary along with sincere repentance. (See: Al-Minhaj Sharah Sahih Muslim P: 366-367)

2)      All the Sunni Schools of Islamic law (madhhabs) are in agreement that it is permitted for the husband to derive sexual pleasure from his wife through direct skin-to-skin contact of the area above her navel and below her knees. As such, kissing, hugging, embracing is all permitted. The husband may touch any area of the wife's body from above the navel and below the knees with his hands, his penis or any other part of his body. It is also permitted for the wife to masturbate her husband, since the husband is not touching any area that is in between her navel and knees. Shaykh Abu Hamid al-Isfira'in'i and many others relate a complete scholarly consensus on this. (Al Minhaj Sharh Sahih Muslim P: 367)

Sayyida 'A'isha (r) relates:

''When anyone amongst us [i.e. the wives of the Messenger of Allah (s)] menstruated, the Messenger of Allah (s) would order her to wear an "izar [i.e. covering between the navel and knee], and then approach her."  

(Sahih Muslim 293)

Imam ibn Hakim (S) relates from his paternal uncle that:

"He asked the Messenger of Allah ... ''What is permitted for me to do with my wife when she is menstruating?" He said, ''Whatever is above the covering (Izar)."  

(Sunan Abi Dawud 214)

It is stated in the Hanafi Fiqh reference work Al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya, "It is permitted to kiss one's menstruating wife, sleep with her and enjoy her entire body, except for that which is in between the navel and knees according to Imam Abu Han'ifa and Imam Abu Yusuf..." (Al­Fatawa al-Hindiyya 1 :39)

Imam Ibn 'Abidin states in his Radd al-Muhtar, "It is permitted to enjoy the navel and everything above it, and the knee and everything below it, even without a barrier." (Radd al-Muhtar 'ala 'l-Durr al-Mukhtar 1:292)

3)      As for the area between the navel and knees, the majority of the scholars, including Imam Abu Han'ifa, Imam Malik and Imam Shafi'i, hold that direct skin-to-skin contact of that area is not permitted, irrespective of the presence or absence of sexual desire (shahwa). However, indirect contact, such as stimulation through a barrier [like clothing] is permissible. Therefore, it is permitted for the husband to rub his private parts against his wife's private parts if there is some sort of clothing in between that prevents the transfer of body-heat. This position is based on the hadith's in which there is mention of wearing the covering (izar) .

Imam Ibn 'Abidin , of the Hanafi School, states, "It is also permitted to enjoy that which is in between the navel and knees but with a barrier [such as clothing], without actual sex, even if blood spreads all over." (Radd al-Muhtar 'ala 'l-Durr al-Mukhtar 1 : 292)

However, Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal, Imam Muhammad ibn al-Hasan, Imam Nawaw'i and some other scholars hold that it is permitted for the husband to touch the area between the navel and knees of his wife's body, even without a barrier, as long as the actual vagina and anus are avoided. They base their position on the statement of the Messenger of Allah (s) where he said, "Do everything except for sex." (For further details on the various positions of the Imams, see: Fath al-Bari 1:525 & Al-Minhaj Sharh Sahih Muslim P: 367)

4)      Finally, according to Imam Shafi'i, Imam Malik, Imam Ahmad and the majority of early (salaf) and late (khalaf) scholars, the restriction on sexual relations remains even after menstruation ends until the wife takes the obligatory ritual bath (ghusl) or, in the absence of water, a dry ablution (tayammum). (Al-Minhaj P: 367)

According to the Hanafi School, however, there is some detail regarding this. If menstruation ends after the ten-day maximum duration, then sex is permitted, even without a ritual bath, though having a bath is recommended. When menstruation ends before the ten-day maximum duration, and it is after the completion of her normal menstrual habit ('ada), then sex is permitted only after having a bath or the passing of one whole prayer-time. If it ends before the completion of her normal menstrual habit, it remains prohibited and sinful to have sex, even after she bathes, until she completes her normal habit. (See: Radd al-Muhtar 1:294 and lmdad al-Fattah Sharh Nur al-Idah P: 141-142)

It should be noted that the rules pertaining to menstruation also apply to postnatal bleeding (nifas). As far as abnormal uterine bleeding (istihada) is concerned, there are no sexual restrictions and it is permitted for the couple to have sex in this period even if blood spreads all over, though the wife should wash and remove traces of blood before sexual relations. (Radd al-Muhtar 1:294)

Source: Islamic Guide To Sexual Relations

To Be Continued....