Guidelines For Those Who Have Dreams From Satan And Nafs Only

Differentiating Between Dreams from Allah سبحانه و تعالى, Shaitan and Nafs

Posted by Mohammad Awais Tahir

Set of References For Learning How to Differentiate between types of dreams

F- Guidelines For Those Who Have Dreams From Satan And Nafs Only

Behold! verily on the friends of Allah there is no fear, nor shall they grieve; Those who believe and (constantly) guard against evil;- For them are glad tidings, in the life of the present and in the Hereafter; no change can there be in the words of Allah. This is indeed the supreme felicity. 
(Surah Younus 10:64)

The glad tidings mentioned in the Ayat are the 'mubashiraat' that one has from Allah in dreams. This is a great blessing promised for those who are 'friends of Allah'. The type of dream that a person has depends so many variables that its not possible for us to control the types of dreams that we have. But, yes, the much we try to get close to Allah, and follow his commandment, and the more we suppress our Nafs, and seek Allah's refuge from the Shaitan, there are more chances of getting meaningful dreams. 

A m'omin wishes to see dreams from Allah, because this way he can get messages from Allah, which are directed to him. Narrated Ibn 'Umar: Men from the companions of Allah's Apostle used to see dreams during the lifetime of Allah's Apostle and they used to narrate those dreams to Allah's Apostle. Allah's Apostle would interpret them as Allah wished. I was a young man and used to stay in the masjid before my wedlock. I said to myself: "If there were any good in myself, I too would see what these people see." So when I went to bed one night, I said: "O Allah! If you see any good in me, show me a good dream." (Sahih Al Bukhari) 

Yet, one ought not make this a 'sign' of one's piety or disbelief, because it is dependent on other variables as well. It does indicate some lapse on his part, but that doesn't necessarily indicate his 'sins'. There have been non-muslims who have seen Prophet Muhammad dream and who turned to Islam on seeing such a dream. All praise be to Allah. I mentioned in the beginning that I'll be giving practical steps in the end for those who don't have any dreams of type 1.

1. Try and Sleep as Early as possible after Isha
2. Try not to sleep after Fajr
3. Sleep for half an hour or an hour in the afternoon
4. Read Surah Al Falaq and Surah An Nas and blow it over your body before sleeping and have a firm belief that now I'm in Allah's protection from the Shaitan
5. Perform Ablution before sleeping
6. Try and keep yourself busy in Islamic activities during the day
7. Try and contemplate as much as possible on Surah Yusuf
8. If you remain in 'self-denial', then improve your 'self-image'.
9. If you remain confused and sad always, try to remain in a happy mood as the Prophet Muhammad used to be the one who smiled the most.
10. When in front of people try to smile, and your tears, sadness etc should be before Allah only or some chosen loved ones.
11. Make the du'a of Ibn e Umar before sleeping : O Allah! If you see any good in me, show me a good dream.
12. Try not to eat just before sleeping
13. Lie down on bed only when you are really tired and ready to sleep In short : You have to keep yourself involved in matters that make you 'remember' Allah during the day, and remember that your Nafs and Shatain are with you and you've to try your best to supress them. 
14. Have a wish that Allah shows you signs in dreams. 
15. Don't make your life 'dependent' on dreams. 
16. Do wait for dreams from Allah, but never go into the slightest of discontent. 
17. Try and realize your 'self', your 'ruh' and your direct connection with Allah.

Before ending with du'aa, I would like to mention a blessing of Allah. He who has made this far, and read the article, would have done it for the love of Allah, and in order to try to be able to get and understand better messages from the loved one, Allah. And he who loves Allah, I love him too. 

About six years ago, I saw a dream that I am ending Masjid e Nabwi of old times. I am moving towards the minbar (though I cannot see it), and I am sure once I reach the minbar I would find Prophet Muhammad sitting there. After a while my vision started diminishing, and and I couldn't see anything. For few seconds, I couldn't see anything. Then I heard an azaan in beautiful voice, I was sure that it's the azaan of Bilal رضى الله عنه. Then I could see again, I started moving towards the minbar again. After a while again, my vision started diminishing, and everything was blank again. Again I heard the azaan and the vision came back and I started moving forward. This happened four or five times. The last time when my vision was gone, I didn't hear the azaan, and I woke up. As soon as I woke up, I jumped from my bed, there was great pain in my heart, and I wept. I was very sad that I didn't see the Prophet Muhammad even after reaching that close. Oh Allah! Forgive me if I said anything wrong in this article, and remove it from the minds of people and accept from me whatever I said right, and inculcate it in the hearts of the people. I request everyone who has benefitted from any portion of my article to say Aamin at this du'aa:

" Oh Allah! After six long years, I still await the sight of Prophet Muhammad SAW. Oh Allah! I am not worthy of meeting the most blessed being of all times, but I ask you for your mercy. Oh Allah! If you see any good in me, show me good dreams, and show me your beloved Prophet. Oh Allah! Give me the knowledge of dream interpretation and open my mind to realize the marvels of the ruh. Oh Allah! Bless with you love and love of your loved ones. Oh Allah! These eyes weep and desire to see You and Your Prophet on the Day of Judgment. Oh Allah! Don't take away from me the greatest of all blessings, that is the sweetness of Your sight on the day of judgment, and don't take away from me the blessing of the sight of Your Beloved Prophet in dream " (Aameen)
Author: Mohammad Awais Tahir

The author may or may not have the same views on the topic and would not like to be quoted on what has been said above. The author, however, deems nothing wrong with changing opinions, hence, he does not wish to amend/remove posts that do not resonate with his current thinking. “Those who never retract their opinions love themselves more than they love truth.”

Copyright © 2011 Islam and Psychology. Feel free to spread.

Source

The Strategic Role of Dreams and Visions In Islam 

By Sheikh Imran Hosein

ETIQUETTES AND FIQH OF THE FIRST NIGHT OF MARRIAGE - Islamic Guide To Sexual Relations

READ DISCLAIMER BEFORE PROCEEDING

- 11- ETIQUETTES AND FIQH OF THE FIRST NIGHT OF MARRIAGE

THE FIRST NIGHT of marriage (laylat al-zufaf) is probably the most important night of a couple's marital life. Failing to observe correct moral ethics and etiquettes in this night can have a long-lasting negative impact on one's spouse, since the first impression is often a lasting impression.  

Both spouses will be starting a completely new chapter in their lives, not knowing what the future holds for them. Naturally, they will be nervous, apprehensive and anxious. At the same time, they will be excited and eager to get to know one another and start their marital life with bliss. In an ideal situation, both will almost be strangers to each other, having had no intimate contact previously. As such, bashfulness and a feeling of strangeness is to be expected.

In such circumstances, it is extremely important for both the husband and wife to try their utmost to make matters easy for one another. They should treat each other with extreme gentleness, compassion and tenderness. The wife will naturally be more nervous, bashful and even fearful, hence the husband has added responsibilities to play his role of a husband on the first night. He should ensure that she feels at ease by creating a friendly and courteous atmosphere. He should be kind and extremely gentle with her by engaging in light-hearted conversation.

1) Greeting with Salam and Reciting the Du' a

When the newly married couple enter the bedroom, after greeting one another with the traditional Islamic greeting "Assalamu 'Alaykum Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakatuh" (may the peace of Allah descend upon you and His Mercy and Blessings), the husband should place his hand on his wife's forelock (front part of the head) and recite the following supplication:

Transliteration:

Allahumma inni as'aluka khayraha wa khayra ma jabaltaha 'alayhi a'udhu bika min sharriha wa sham mil jabaltaha 'alayh.

Translation:

"O Allah! I ask from you the good of her and the good with which you have created her, and I seek refuge with you from the evil in her and the evil with which you have created her."  

(Sunan Abi Dawud 2153, Sunan Ibn Majah 1918 and others, 

the wording of the Du'a is from Sunan Abi Dawud)

Although, this supplication (du'a is addressed to the man, it implicitly includes the woman also. Any Du'a which refers to women in a specific way can also be inverted to refer to men. As such, the wife may also recite the supplication when she sees her husband for the first time, but the wording will be slightly changed to accommodate the male gender, as follows:

Transliteration:

Allahumma inni as'aluka khayrahu wa khayra mil jabaltahu 'alayhi wa a'udhu bika min sharrihi wa sharri mil jabaltahu 'alayh.

Translation:

"O Allah! I ask from you the good of him and the good with which you have created him, and I seek refuge with you from the evil in him and the evil with which you have created him." (See: Radiant Prayers by Mufti Taqi Uthmani P: 64)

The reason behind this supplication is that all human beings, with the exception of the Prophets (peace be upon them), are prone to the whisperings of the Devil and have a propensity for evil, and so the couple are encouraged to pray for the good in each other and seek protection from each other's evil. It certainly does not mean that one's spouse is evil, but rather, this supplication refers to the possibility of evil in one's spouse, be that the husband or wife.

2) Offering Prayers

Abu Wa'il relates that a man once came to Sayyiduna 'Abdullah ibn Mas'ad (r) and said, "I married a woman, but I fear discord [between us]. He replied, ''When you bring her to you, offer two Rak'ats of prayer [and in another variation he said, ''When you enter upon her, ask her to offer two Rak'ats behind you] and then say, "O Allah! Bless my family for me, and bless me for my family. O Allah! Unite us with good, and separate us, if you do, with good." (Tabarani in his Al-Mu'jam al-Kabir 9: 204, and 'Abd al-Razzaq in his Al-Musannaf 6:83)

In this way, the couple should first perform two Rak'ats of prayer, preferably in congregation, with combined intentions of night vigil prayer (tahajjud), thanks-giving prayer (shukr) and prayer of need (haja). If the couple is in need of renewing their ablution, they must first perform the ritual ablution. After the prayer, they should praise Allah Most High and send blessings on His Messenger (sa) and thank Allah for blessing them with this great gift of marriage. They should ask Allah to bless their union with goodness, prosperity, mutual love and the birth of pious offspring. Remember, the best of supplications are those that are made from the heart, out of neediness, with recognition of one's standing as a slave of Allah.

3) Light-hearted Discussion

After praying and making Du' a, the couple should try to get to know each other more closely and assess each other's feelings by initiating a light-hearted discussion. It is recommended that they first engage themselves in some religious talk such as discussing the aims and objectives of marriage in Islam. They should make a firm resolution of living their lives in accordance with Islamic teachings and always to obey Allah Most High and His beloved Messenger (sa). They may even read some Islamic literature together, if they so wish. The husband should regard this moment as an opportunity to show his consideration for his wife's tender feelings, and treat her with love, affection and warmth. The wife, in turn, should not play "hard-to-get" but respond to his tenderness with love and compassion of her own.

4) Sexual Relations

It is important to note that engaging in sexual relations on the first night is not necessary. The husband should not hasten in taking his wife's virginity, but rather he should approach the matter with extreme calmness, even if it takes a few days. The newly married couple have all their lives before them for sexual relations, and there is no need to make haste in this regard. Much of the time during the first night should be spent in getting to know one another, sharing each other's outlook on life and how their marital life should be lived in accordance with Islamic teachings. They may, however, begin to be intimate with one another, if they feel comfortable.

If intimacy does lead to sexual relations and actual sex, then the husband needs to be extremely gentle during penetration. A virgin undergoes considerable anxiety and pain during sex, and the husband must keep this in mind. Scholars mention that a husband's inability to penetrate on the first night is not a sign of his weakness or sexual impotency, since it is natural for men to be bashful or anxious on the first night, affecting their sexual potency. The couple may try on another occasion, and it may even take a few days. Both spouses will need to approach this delicate issue with forbearance and tolerance, helping one another in making matters as easy as possible. (Usul al­Mu'ashara al-Zawjiyya P: 69)

Likewise, the husband should not expect his wife to respond fully to his sexual advances on the first night. A woman is more bashful than a man and will naturally be reserved in her response. The husband should take one step at a time, and the wife should respond to him in each step that he takes, eventually leading to full sexual relations. (Ibid)

5) Evil Suspicions

One extremely important point of caution for the husband is never to doubt his wife or have evil suspicions if it appears that she is not a virgin. Baseless suspicions and evil thoughts about others are categorically forbidden in Islam and a major sin. Allah Most High Says:

"O you who believe! Abstain from much suspicion. Some suspicions are sins ... "

(Qur'an: 49:12)

A woman's hymen, the fold of tissue that partly covers the entrance to the vagina of a virgin, can be broken in many ways, including heavy menstrual flow, prolonged illness, falling, jumping excessively, horse ­riding, cycling and certain sporting activities. In fact, in the Hanafi School, a woman is considered an "effective virgin" if people consider her a virgin, even though she may have had sex in the past without this being presently known about her. This is because virginity is something of great social weight in Islamic society, and to stain her honour for a past sin, from which the woman has presumably repented, would be wrong. (Radd al-Muhtar)

If the first night is spent in accordance with the above guidelines, it will serve as a perfect start to a blissful and happy life of marriage, Insha 'Allah.

Source: Islamic Guide To Sexual Relations

To Be Continued....

Good Treatment and Seduction - Islamic Guide To Sexual Relations

READ DISCLAIMER BEFORE PROCEEDING

Preparation of the Husband

2)   Good Treatment and Seduction

A very important aspect of a husband's psychological preparation is preceding sexual relations with good treatment, kind words, playfulness and affection. Islam generally commands the husband to treat his wife honourably at all times, let alone when the couple intend on engaging in sexual relations. Allah Most High says:

"Live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If you take a dislike to them it may be that you dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good." 

(Qur'an 4:19)

The Messenger of Allah (sa) emphasised, both verbally and in action, the importance of treating one's wife kindly. Sayyiduna Abu Hurayra (r) relates that the Messenger of Allah (sa) said:

"The most perfect of believers in belief is the best of them in character. And the best of you are those who are the best to their women." (Sunan al-Tirmidh'i 1162 with a rigorously authenticated chain of transmission)

The Messenger of Allah (sa) was a living example of how a husband should treat his wife. He was extremely gentle and kind toward his wives, and treated them in an amicable manner. He was affectionate, humorous and considerate towards them. Many examples of the Messenger of Allah's (sa) treatment of his wives can be found in the books of Prophetic narrations. Sayyiduna 'Abdullah ibn Abbas (r) relates that the Messenger of Allah (s) said:

'The best among you is the one who is best to his family. And I am the best among you to my family."  

(Sunan Ibn Majah 1977)

As such, treating one's wife kindly is a general ruling of lslam, and is essential when one intends to have sexual relations. How a couple treat one another outside the bedroom will have a direct impact on their bedroom behaviour.

To set the scene, the husband should be gentle and affectionate, expressing his love for her with words that will seduce her. He should remember that women get "turned on" by what is said and the meaning behind the words. It is all about how his words make her feel. It's a set of actions, and every small thing the husband does matters, and will help contribute to a healthy sexual encounter.

There is a subtle indication of this in the Qur'an also. Allah Most High says:

''Your wives are tillage for you to cultivate. So approach your tillage from where you wish, but do some good act for yourselves beforehand; and fear Allah." 

(Qur'an 2:223)

Some exegetes of the Qur'an say that the phrase "but do some good act for yourselves beforehand" refers to the importance of things that come before sex itself, such as having a correct intention, reciting the appropriate Du'a, and foreplay in increasing interest and making the matter easier. (Tafsir Abi al-Sa'ud 1:223 and Tafsir al-Kasshaf 1:294)

In a hadith, the Messenger of Allah (sa) describes how disgraceful it is for a husband to treat his wife cruelly and then have sex with her. He (sa) said:" ... One of you beats his wife as he would beat a slave, and then he may have sex with her in the evening!" (Sahih al-Bukhan 4658 and Sahih Muslim2855, the wording is of Bukhari)

The Messenger of Allah (sa) is displaying astonishment at a man who mistreats his wife and then has the audacity to engage in sexual relations with her. This is why in another narration he said:

"How can one of you beat his wife like a stallion is beaten and then sleep with her?" (Sahih al-Bukhan 5695) In other words, how can a husband treat his wife harshly and aggressively and then expect her to be responsive to his sexual advances?

Muslim husbands really must take heed of this. Some men, outside of the bedroom, fail to treat their women with warmth and affection, but when it comes to sex, all of a sudden, they become caring and compassionate. Not only is this selfish, it also shows what the wife actually means to the husband.

The Sunna is to precede sexual relations with tenderness and affection. The husband should use the appropriate means to seduce his wife, through his words and actions. In this way, the wife will also be extremely receptive to his sexual advances.

Source: Islamic Guide To Sexual Relations

To Be Continued....