Warning - Contents may have images/information that some viewers may find disturbing. Proceed with caution. One of the principles of sharee’ah (law) is that whatever leads to haraam deeds is itself haraam, so everything that leads to the provocation of haraam desires is haraam, because it may lead to a person falling into evil things. If you feel erotic while reading the post, please leave/close the page.
One of the etiquettes of sexual
relations is to cover up or put away copies of the Qur'an, verses of the Qur'an
hanging on the wall and other Islamic literature such as hadith collections
and books consisting of invocations (du' a and adhkar), if
possible, without undue hardship.
There is no sin, however, for
not doing so.
Imam Haskafi states in his Al-Durr
al-Mukhtar, 'There is nothing wrong with having sex in a room in which
there is a copy of the Qur'an, because it is generally difficult to
avoid." In his commentary of the above text, Ibn 'Abidin states, however, that
it is superior to cover up the Qur'an. (Radd al-Mu/J,tar 'ala
'l-Durral-Mukhtar 6:42 3)
3) Reciting the Supplication (du'a)
One of the objectives of sexual
relations is to produce pious and righteous offspring. As such, it is important
that the couple supplicate to Allah Most High before commencing sex, asking Him
to keep Satan away from themselves and their potential offspring. Sayyiduna 'Abdullah ibn Abbas (r) relates that the Messenger of Allah (sa)said:
"When approaching one's
spouse, if one says, "In the name of Allah. O Allah! Protect us from Satan
and protect what you grant us [i.e. the coming offspring] from Satan" then
if it is destined that they have a child from that intercourse, Satan will
never be able to harm it."
(Sahih
al-Bukhar'i 141 & Sahih Muslim 1434, the wording is of Muslim)
Thus, it is recommended prior
to penetration for both spouses to first pronounce the name of Allah Most High
saying: (Transliteration)
Bismillah
In the name of Allah
Or
Bismillah ar-rahman ar-rahim
In the name of Allah, Most
Compassionate, Most Merciful.
Thereafter, recite the
following supplication:
Allahumma jannibnash-shaytan,
wa jannibish-shaytana ma razaqtana
O Allah! Protect us from Satan
and protect what you grant us from Satan.
It is important to recite the
above-mentioned supplication (du'a), since firstly, it is from the
guidance given to us by the Messenger of Allah (sa) and secondly, one's potential
offspring may not be saved from the evils of Satan if the Du' a is
disregarded.
4) Avoiding Facing the Qibla
One of the etiquettes of sexual
relations is to avoid facing the direction of the Qibla, because one's
nakedness is normally exposed in such a state. Imam Ibn 'Abidin of the Banafi
School, Imam Ghazali of the Shafi'i School and Imam Ibn Qudama of the Hanbali
School all mention that it is somewhat disliked (makruh tanz'ih) to
face the Qibla whilst having sex [although not sinful].
Imam Ibn Qudama states,
"One should not face the Qibla during sex, for Amr ibn Hazm and 'Ata' both
disliked it". (Al-Mughn'i 8:136, also see: Radd al-Muh,tar 1:341
and lthaf al-Sadat al-Muttaq'in bi Sharh Ihya" Ulilm al-D'in 6:1
74)
5) Talking During Sex
Talking during foreplay is not
only permitted, but rather encouraged, as outlined previously. It is
recommended that both spouses exchange kind words that express their love,
longing and desire for one another. There is nothing wrong even if both spouses
use sexually arousing language during foreplay, provided there is nothing
specifically wrong or sinful in the nature of their conversation and provided
others are not able to hear them, as discussed earlier.
As for talking during actual sexual penetration,
classical scholars generally state that it is disliked (makruh) to do
so excessively, because:
a) Sexual relations are based
on concealment;
b) The Messenger of Allah (sa)commanded for proper manners to be observed during
sex, whilst excessive talking is contrary to proper manners, and;
c) It is similar to when one is in the toilet or bathroom
where talking is Makruh due to one's nakedness being exposed. (See: Radd
al-Muhtar 6:418 & Al-Mughni 8:136)
Having said the above, the
renowned Hanafi jurist of recent times in the Subcontinent, Shaykh Mufti Muhammad
Shafi' (may Allah have mercy on him) states that talking during sex is disliked
when it is with others. As far as the couple talking with each other, there is nothing wrong
with that. (lmdad al-Muftin P: 1032)
Is it permitted for a couple to
watch pornographic material to stimulate sexual arousal before sex? The answer
to this question is an absolute and emphatic "no".
Pornography, whether in the
form of motion picture films, movies, novels, plays, pictures or photographs,
is without doubt unlawful, shameful and sinful. Islam clearly forbids looking
at nudity or watching others have sex. Allah Most High says:
"Say to the believing men
that they must lower their gazes and guard their private parts; it is more
decent for them. Surely Allah is All-Aware of what they do. And say to the
believing women that they must lower their gazes and guard their private parts
[ ... ]"
(Qur'an 24:30-31)
In these verses, both men and
women are ordered to lower their gazes to avoid seeing the nakedness of others.
Even if one's gaze were to fall unintentionally on the nakedness of another,
one would be required to look away instantaneously.
Sayyiduna jarir ibn 'Abdullah (r) relates:
"I asked the Messenger of Allah (sa) about an accidental glance, and
he commanded me to avert my gaze." (Sahih Muslim 2159 & Sunan al-Tirmidhi 2776, the wording is of Tirmidhi)
Imam Nawawi, in his commentary
of the above hadith, says, "The meaning of an "accidental
glance" is that a person's glance unintentionally falls upon a non-mahram
woman. There is no sin on him for the first glance, but he must avert his gaze
immediately. If he averts his gaze immediately, then there is no sin on him,
but if he continues looking, he will be sinful due to this hadith, since the Messenger
of Allah (sa) commanded the Companion to avert
his gaze, and Allah Most High says, "Say to the believing men that they
must lower their gazes and guard their private parts." (Al-Minhaj Sharh
Sahih Muslim P: 1618)
Moreover, Sayyiduna Abu Sa'id
al-Khudri (r) relates that the Messenger of Allah
(sa)said:
"A man must not look at
the nakedness of another man, and a woman must not look at the nakedness of
another woman ... "
(Sunan al-Tirmidhi 2793)
Jarhad al-Aslami (r) relates that the Messenger of Allah (sa)passed by him whilst his thigh was exposed. The
Messenger of Allah (sa)said:
"Cover your thigh, for the
thigh is from the nakedness [which must be concealed]."
(Sunan
al-Tirmidhi 2798)
Pornographic films do not help
a couple's sex life, rather, they destroy it. Pornography is a highly addictive
disease that leads invariably to the vice of self-abuse and masturbation.
Watching nudity makes men and women incapable of being stimulated from one
another naturally. They find it difficult to be aroused by their spouses,
whilst they are easily aroused by pornography. This is why pornography is the
most common cause for psychological impotence in the world. Muslim couples accustomed
to pornography must realize that habitually watching porn will eventually lead
to problems in their sex lives. As such, they must at once stop this
disgraceful, perverted and immodest habit, if they are to have a prosperous
martial life.
6) Cross-Dressing and
Transvestism
Cross-dressing basically means
dressing in the clothing, under-clothing and sometimes make-up associated with
the opposite sex. If cross dressing is for sexual reasons, it is called
"transvestism". A transvestite derives sexual pleasure from dressing
or masquerading in the clothing of the opposite sex. In most cases, the
motivation behind transvestism is a form of fetishistic attraction to the
clothing and accoutrements of the opposite sex, but it may also have to do with
an attraction to the gender role of the opposite sex, symbolised by their
clothes. As such, a husband who wears his wife's clothes or underwear, or a
wife who dresses up in her husband's clothing or underwear is known as a transvestite.
There is no place for
cross-dressing or transvestism in Islam. Playing the role, assuming the
character-traits, and wearing the clothes of the opposite gender is severely
frowned upon and cursed.
Sayyiduna 'Abdullah ibn Abbas (r) relates:
'The Messenger of Allah (sa) cursed those men who imitate
women and those women who imitate men."
(Sahih al-Bukhairi 5546)
'Abdullah ibn Abbas (r) also relates:
'The Messenger of Allah (sa) cursed effeminate men and
masculine women, and said, "Throw them out of your houses." He [Ibn Abbas]
said, 'The Messenger of Allah (sa) expelled so and so, and 'Umar expelled so and
so."
(Sahih al-Bukhairi 5547)
Sayyiduna Abu Hurayra (r) relates:
'The Messenger of Allah (sa) cursed the man who wears
women's clothes, and the woman who wears men's clothes."
(Sunan Abi Dawud 4095)
Imam Ibn Hajar al-'Asqalani
states in his commentary of Sahih alBukhari that it is unlawful for men
to imitate women in their dress, adornment, manner of speech and body
movements, and vice versa. As far as dress is concerned, he states, this
depends on the customs of one's city. Some cultures may not distinguish between
men and women's clothing but rather women are distinguished with their hijab
and outer cloak [as such, wearing such unisex clothing would be permitted].
As far as the manner of speech and body movements are concerned, only someone
who does this deliberately is to be blamed; whilst someone who was created in
such a manner is not to be blamed, but he is expected to gradually change his
behaviour. If he fails to try and change himself, then he is to be blamed,
especially if he is content with such behaviour. Yes, despite trying, if he is
unable to change himself, then he is not to be blamed. (Fath al-Bar'i Sharh
Sahih al-Bukhari 10:409)
It is clear from the above that
it is sinful to intentionally dress like the opposite
gender or to assume the character traits of the opposite gender. The evil of
such behaviour affects both the individual and society at large, and is a
rebellion against the natural ordering of things. There are men and there are
women, and each gender has its distinctive characteristics. If men become
effeminate and women masculinised, the natural order is reversed and will
disintegrate.
Therefore, during sexual
relations and foreplay, it is sinful for a husband to act the role of the wife
by dressing in her clothes or underwear, and vice versa. The man should be a
man and play the role of a man, and the woman must remain a woman and play her own
role. Reversing the roles during sexual foreplay is not only sinful and
degrading, but it will have a direct influence on the couple's relationship
outside of the bedroom.
7) Urolagnia
Urolagnia is an abnormal sexual
fetish in which participants derive sexual pleasure from urine and urination.
It is a "sexual" act, used as a means of foreplay, which involves one
partner urinating "golden shower" over the other partner. Some even
go to the extent of drinking their partner's urine!
A sound, normal human being
cannot even imagine anyone deriving pleasure from urine and filth. It is a sick and perverted fetish that can never be
allowed in Islam. The basis of Islam is cleanliness and purity (tahara). The collections of hadith and
books of fiqh are filled with pages dedicated to the rules of avoiding
filth. Tahara
is the first issue that is
addressed in almost every hadith and fiqh work. Purity is half of one's
faith and the key to prayer. A believer must remain pure and love pure things,
and avoid and dislike impure and filth.
As such, urinating over one's
spouse as part of sexual foreplay is, without doubt, impermissible and sinful.
Not avoiding splashes of urine is a cause of punishment in the grave. Sayyiduna
'Abdullah ibn Abbas (r) relates:
'The Messenger of Allah (sa)once passed by two graves and said, 'They [in the
grave] are being punished not for a great thing to avoid" Then he added,
''Yes, [they are being punished for a great sin], for one of them used to go
about with calumnies, while the other never saved himself from the splashes of
urine." Ibn Abbas says, "Then he (sa) took a wet green leaf and split it into two pieces, then placed
one piece on each of the two graves and said, 'Their punishment may decrease
until these two pieces become dry."
(Sahih al-Bukhar'i 1312)
Sayyiduna Abu Hurayra (r) relates that the Messenger of Allah (sa)said,
"Avoid [the splashes of]
urine, for indeed the punishment of the grave is generally due to it." (Sunan
al-Daraqutn'i 1:12 8)
According to the jurists of the
various schools of Islamic law, it is obligatory to avoid filth except when
there is a need, such as cleaning the filth after relieving oneself. This is
even more important in the case of urine, since it is decisively filthy and
impure. One must avoid smearing oneself with filth in general and with urine in
particular. (Hanafi Tahtaw'i 'ala Maraq'i al-Falah P: 152 and Al-Fatawa
al-Hind'iyya 1: 50, Maliki’ Hashiya al-Dasuq'i 'ala 'l-Sharh al-Kabir 1:
110, Shafi'i Mughn'I al-Muhtaj 1:127 and Hanbal1: Al-Mughn'i 1:141)
