Warning - Contents may have images/information that some viewers may find disturbing. Proceed with caution. One of the principles of sharee’ah (law) is that whatever leads to haraam deeds is itself haraam, so everything that leads to the provocation of haraam desires is haraam, because it may lead to a person falling into evil things. If you feel erotic while reading the post, please leave/close the page.
(1)Dreams from Allah سبحانه و تعالى: There are only two types of instructions. One are those for dreams that are meaningful (type 1) and those which are for dreams that are meaningless (type 2 and type 3). All the references are there in the bouquet of Ahadith quoted.
As a summary one is supposed to do the following on experiencing a dream of Type 1: (a) Praise Allah for the good dream
(b) Feel Happy about it
(c) Don't talk about it those whom you dislike
(d) Narrate it to someone whom you love or a wise person
(e) Try and Narrate it to your loved one on the morning following the night you saw the dream. or as soon as you see the dream.
(2)Dreams from Shaitan OR (3)Dreams from Nafs: These are useless dreams and on having these we are advised to :
(a) Seek refuge with Allah سبحانه و تعالى from the evil of the dream
(b) Seek refuge with Allah سبحانه و تعالى from the evil of Shaitan
(c) Spit to his left three times (without saliva) on waking up
(d) Say two voluntary rakah on waking up
(e) Ask Allah سبحانه و تعالى for a good dream
(f) Turn over the side on which you were lying previously
(g) Not mention it to anyone
(h) Have a firm belief that it was a meaningless dream and it will not harm you
This is a list of Ayaat of Holy
Qur'an and the Ahadith of Prophet Muhammad SAW. This set of references will aid
us in understanding the subject of dreams better. This set of references has
been collected in order to understand better how to differentiate between the
different types of dreams.
(41)
Narrated Ibn 'Umar: Some people were shown the Night of Qadr as being in the
last seven days (of the month of Ramadan). The Prophet said, "Seek it in
the last seven days (of Ramadan)"
(Sahih Al
Bukhari)
(42) Um
al-'Ala said: "(regarding Usman bin Maz'un) By Allah, I will never attest
the righteousness of anybody after that." She added: "Later I saw in
a dream a flowing spring for 'Uthman. So I went to Allah's Apostle and
mentioned that to him. He said, that is (the symbol of) his good deeds (the
reward for) which is going on for him."
(Sahih Al
Bukhari)
(43)
Narrated Ibn 'Umar: Men from the companions of Allah's Apostle used to see
dreams during the lifetime of Allah's Apostle and they used to narrate those
dreams to Allah's Apostle. Allah's Apostle would interpret them as Allah
wished. I was a young man and used to stay in the masjid before my wedlock. I
said to myself: "If there were any good in myself, I too would see what
these people see." So when I went to bed one night, I said: "O Allah!
If you see any good in me, show me a good dream." So while I was in that
state, there came to me (in a dream) two angels. In the hand of each of them
there was a mace of iron, and both of them were taking me to Hell, and I was
between them, invoking Allah: "O Allah! I seek refuge with You from
Hell." Then I saw myself being confronted by another angel holding a mace
of iron in his hand. He said to me: "Do not be afraid, you will be an
excellent man if you only pray more often." So they took me till they
stopped me at the edge of Hell, and behold, it was built inside like a well and
it had side posts like those of a well, and beside each post there was an angel
carrying an iron mace. I saw therein many people hanging upside down with iron
chains, and I recognized therein some men from the Quraish. Then (the angels)
took me to the right side. I narrated this dream to (my sister) Hafsa. Hafsa
told me that she had mentioned it to the Prophet and he said: "Abdullah is
a righteous man, if only he would pray more at night." (Az-Zuhri said:
"After that 'Abdullah used to pray more at night.")
(Sahih Al
Bukhari)
(44)
Narrated Ibn 'Abbas: A man came to Allah's Apostle and said: "I saw in a
dream, a cloud having shade. Butter and honey were dropping from it and I saw
the people gathering it in their hands, some gathering much and some a little.
And behold, there was a rope extending from the earth to the sky, and I saw
that you (the Prophet) held it and went up, and then another man held it and
went up and (after that) another (third) held it and went up, and then after
another (fourth) man held it, but it broke and then got connected again."
(Sahih Al
Bukhari)
(45)
Narrated Qais bin 'Ubada: I was sitting in a gathering in which there was Sa'd
bin Malik and Ibn 'Umar. 'Abdullah bin Salam passed in front of them and they
said: "This man is from the people of Paradise." I said to 'Abdullah
bin Salam: "They said so-and-so." He replied: "Subhan Allah!
They ought not to have said things of which they have no knowledge, but I saw
(in a dream) that a post was fixed in a green garden. At the top of the post
there was a handhold and below it there was a servant. I was asked to climb
(the post). So I climbed it till I got hold of the handhold." Then I
narrated this dream to Allah's Apostle. Allah's Apostle said: "Abdullah
will die while still holding the firm reliable handhold (i.e., Islam)."
(Sahih Al
Bukhari)
(46)
Narrated Ibn 'Umar: Some people were shown the Night of Qadr as being in the
last seven days (of the month of Ramadan). The Prophet said, "Seek it in
the last seven days (of Ramadan)."
(Sahih Al Bukhari)
(47) Narrated
'Abdullah bin Salam: (In a dream) I saw myself in a garden, and there was a
pillar in the middle of the garden, and there was a handhold at the top of the
pillar. I was asked to climb it. I said: "I cannot." Then a servant
came and lifted up my clothes and I climbed (the pillar), and then got hold of
the handhold, and I woke up while still holding it. I narrated that to the
Prophet who said: "The garden symbolizes the garden of Islam, and the
handhold is the firm Islamic handhold which indicates that you will be adhering
firmly to Islam until you die."
(Sahih Al
Bukhari)
(48)
Narrated Ibn 'Umar: I saw in a dream a piece of silken cloth in my hand, and in
whatever direction in Paradise I waved it, it flew, carrying me there. I
narrated this (dream) to (my sister) Hafsa and she told it the Prophet who said
(to Hafsa): "Indeed, your brother is a righteous man," or,
"Indeed, 'Abdullah is a righteous man."
The author
may or may not have the same views on the topic and would not like to be quoted
on what has been said above. The author, however, deems nothing wrong with
changing opinions, hence, he does not wish to amend/remove posts that do not
resonate with his current thinking.
“Those who never retract their opinions love
themselves more than they love truth.”
- 11- ETIQUETTES AND FIQH OF THE FIRST NIGHT
OF MARRIAGE
THE FIRST NIGHT of marriage (laylat
al-zufaf) is probably the most important night of a couple's marital life. Failing
to observe correct moral ethics and etiquettes in this night can have a
long-lasting negative impact on one's spouse, since the first impression is
often a lasting impression.
Both spouses will be starting a
completely new chapter in their lives, not knowing what the future holds for
them. Naturally, they will be nervous, apprehensive and anxious. At the same
time, they will be excited and eager to get to know one another and start their
marital life with bliss. In an ideal situation, both will almost be strangers
to each other, having had no intimate contact previously. As such, bashfulness and
a feeling of strangeness is to be expected.
In such circumstances, it is
extremely important for both the husband and wife to try their utmost to make
matters easy for one another. They should treat each other with extreme
gentleness, compassion and tenderness. The wife will naturally be more nervous,
bashful and even fearful, hence the husband has added responsibilities to play
his role of a husband on the first night. He should ensure that she feels at
ease by creating a friendly and courteous atmosphere. He should be kind and extremely
gentle with her by engaging in light-hearted conversation.
1) Greeting with Salam and Reciting the Du' a
When the newly married couple
enter the bedroom, after greeting one another with the traditional Islamic
greeting "Assalamu 'Alaykum Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakatuh" (may
the peace of Allah descend upon you and His Mercy and Blessings), the husband
should place his hand on his wife's forelock (front part of the head) and
recite the following supplication:
Transliteration:
Allahumma inni as'aluka
khayraha wa khayra ma jabaltaha 'alayhi a'udhu bika min sharriha wa sham mil
jabaltaha 'alayh.
Translation:
"O Allah! I ask from you
the good of her and the good with which you have created her, and I seek refuge
with you from the evil in her and the evil with which you have created
her."
(Sunan Abi Dawud 2153, Sunan Ibn Majah 1918 and
others,
the wording of the Du'a is from Sunan Abi Dawud)
Although, this supplication (du'a
is addressed to the man, it implicitly includes the woman also. Any Du'a
which refers to women in a specific way can also be inverted to refer to
men. As such, the wife may also recite the supplication when she sees
her husband for the first time, but the wording will be slightly changed to
accommodate the male gender, as follows:
Transliteration:
Allahumma inni as'aluka
khayrahu wa khayra mil jabaltahu 'alayhi wa a'udhu bika min sharrihi wa sharri
mil jabaltahu 'alayh.
Translation:
"O Allah! I ask from you
the good of him and the good with which you have created him, and I seek refuge
with you from the evil in him and the evil with which you have created
him." (See: Radiant Prayers by Mufti Taqi Uthmani P: 64)
The reason behind this
supplication is that all human beings, with the exception of the Prophets
(peace be upon them), are prone to the whisperings of the Devil and have a
propensity for evil, and so the couple are encouraged to pray for the good in
each other and seek protection from each other's evil. It certainly does not mean that one's spouse is evil,
but rather, this supplication refers to the possibility of evil in one's
spouse, be that the husband or wife.
2) Offering Prayers
Abu Wa'il relates that a man
once came to Sayyiduna 'Abdullah ibn Mas'ad (r) and said, "I married a woman, but I fear discord [between
us]. He replied, ''When you bring her to you, offer two Rak'ats of prayer [and
in another variation he said, ''When you enter upon her, ask her to offer two
Rak'ats behind you] and then say, "O Allah! Bless my family for me, and
bless me for my family. O Allah! Unite us with good, and separate us, if you
do, with good." (Tabarani in his Al-Mu'jam al-Kabir 9: 204, and
'Abd al-Razzaq in his Al-Musannaf 6:83)
In this way, the couple should
first perform two Rak'ats of prayer, preferably in congregation, with
combined intentions of night vigil prayer (tahajjud), thanks-giving
prayer (shukr) and prayer of need (haja). If the couple is in need
of renewing their ablution, they must first perform the ritual ablution. After
the prayer, they should praise Allah Most High and send
blessings on His Messenger (sa) and thank Allah for blessing them with this great gift of
marriage. They should ask Allah to bless their union with goodness, prosperity,
mutual love and the birth of pious offspring. Remember, the best of
supplications are those that are made from the heart, out of neediness, with
recognition of one's standing as a slave of Allah.
3) Light-hearted Discussion
After praying and making Du'
a, the couple should try to get to know each other more closely and assess
each other's feelings by initiating a light-hearted discussion. It is
recommended that they first engage themselves in some religious talk such as
discussing the aims and objectives of marriage in Islam. They should make a
firm resolution of living their lives in accordance with Islamic teachings and
always to obey Allah Most High and His beloved Messenger (sa). They may even read some Islamic literature together,
if they so wish. The husband should regard this moment as an opportunity to
show his consideration for his wife's tender feelings, and treat her with love,
affection and warmth. The wife, in turn, should not play "hard-to-get"
but respond to his tenderness with love and compassion of her own.
4) Sexual Relations
It is important to note that
engaging in sexual relations on the first night is not necessary. The husband
should not hasten in taking his wife's virginity, but rather he should approach
the matter with extreme calmness, even if it takes a few days. The newly
married couple have all their lives before them for sexual relations, and there
is no need to make haste in this regard. Much of the time during the first
night should be spent in getting to know one another, sharing each other's outlook
on life and how their marital life should be lived in accordance with Islamic
teachings. They may, however, begin to be intimate with one another, if they
feel comfortable.
If intimacy does lead to sexual
relations and actual sex, then the husband needs to be extremely gentle during
penetration. A virgin undergoes considerable anxiety and pain during sex, and
the husband must keep this in mind. Scholars mention that a husband's inability
to penetrate on the first night is not a sign of his weakness or sexual impotency,
since it is natural for men to be bashful or anxious on the
first night, affecting their sexual potency. The couple may try on another occasion, and it may even take a few
days. Both spouses will need to approach this delicate issue with forbearance
and tolerance, helping one another in making matters as easy as possible. (Usul
alMu'ashara al-Zawjiyya P: 69)
Likewise, the husband should
not expect his wife to respond fully to his sexual advances on the first night. A woman is
more bashful than a man and will naturally be reserved in her response. The
husband should take one step at a time, and the wife should respond to him in
each step that he takes, eventually leading to full sexual relations. (Ibid)
5) Evil Suspicions
One extremely important point
of caution for the husband is never to doubt his wife or have evil suspicions
if it appears that she is not a virgin. Baseless suspicions and evil thoughts
about others are categorically forbidden in Islam and a major sin. Allah Most
High Says:
"O you who believe!
Abstain from much suspicion. Some suspicions are sins ... "
(Qur'an: 49:12)
A woman's hymen, the fold of
tissue that partly covers the entrance to the vagina of a virgin, can be broken
in many ways, including heavy menstrual flow, prolonged illness, falling,
jumping excessively, horse riding, cycling and certain sporting activities. In
fact, in the Hanafi School, a woman is considered an "effective virgin"
if people consider her a virgin, even though she may have had sex in the past
without this being presently known about her. This is because virginity is
something of great social weight in Islamic society, and to stain her honour
for a past sin, from which the woman has presumably repented, would be wrong. (Radd
al-Muhtar)
If the first night is spent in
accordance with the above guidelines, it will serve as a perfect start to a
blissful and happy life of marriage, Insha 'Allah.
1)Sleeping in a State of Major Ritual Impurity (janaba)
a) It is recommended for the couple to hasten in having a
ritual bath after sexual relations. One should endeavour to end one's state of Janaba
as soon as possible, as it releases one from the restrictions of ritual
impurity.
Sayyiduna 'Ali (r) relates that the Messenger of Allah (sa)said:
"The angels do not enter a
house in which there is a picture, a dog, or a person in a state of major
ritual impurity [a junub]."
(Sunan Abi Dawud 229)
This hadith is referring to an
individual who unnecessarily remains in a state of major ritual impurity for a
considerable length of time to the extent that the obligatory (fard) prayers
are delayed. In such a case, one is sinful; otherwise it is not obligatory to
have a bath directly after sexual relations. It is permitted, without dislike,
to go to sleep in a state of janaba, even though having a bath is
superior. Sayyida 'A'isha (r) relates:
'The Messenger of Allah (sa)would sleep while he was in a state of major ritual
impurity without touching water."
(Sunan al-Tirmidhi 118, Sunan
Abi Dawud 230 and Sunan Ibn Majah 581)
The author of the commentary of
Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Tuhfat alAhwadhi, states: "In this hadith,
there is proof that it is permitted for a junub to go to sleep before having a
bath and before performing an ablution." (Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi bi Sharh Jami'
al-Tirmidhi 1:397)
Ghudayf ibn al-Harith relates:
"I asked 'A'isha,
"Have you seen the Messenger of Allah (sa)having a bath of janaba at the beginning of the night or at
the end?" She replied, "Sometimes he would have a bath at the
beginning of the night and sometimes at the end." And so I said,
"Allah is Most Great. All Praise be to Allah Who put ease in the matter.
.."
(Sunan Abi Dawud 228 and others)
Imam Nawawi states, 'The
conclusion of these hadiths is that it is permitted for a junub to eat,
drink, sleep and have sex before having a bath. This is something that is
agreed upon by all the scholars [ ... ] The meaning [of the hadith in which it
is mentioned that the Messenger of Allah (sa) would sleep without touching water] is that on a few occasions, he
would not touch water at all in order to indicate permissibility [of going to
sleep in such a state]. Had the Messenger of Allah (sa) continuously used water, it would have been presumed
that using water is necessary, and Allah knows best." (Al-Minhaj Sharh
Sahih Muslim P: 372-373)
b) If one wishes to sleep
without having a bath, one is encouraged to perform a ritual ablution (wudu)
Sayyida 'A'isha (r) relates:
''Whenever the Messenger of Allah
(sa) intended to sleep in a state of major ritual impurity, he
would wash his private parts and perform ablution like that for the
prayer."
(Sahih al-Bukhari 284 and Sahih Muslim 305, the
wording is of Bukhari)
Sayyiduna 'Umar ibn al-Khattab (r) asked the Messenger of Allah (sa)"Can any one of us sleep while in a state of
major ritual impurity?" He replied:
''Yes, if one performs
ablution, one can sleep while in a state of major ritual impurity." (Sahih
al-Bukhari 283, Sahih Muslim 306 and Sunan al-Tirmidhi 120,
the wording is of Bukhari)
Sayyiduna 'Umar ibn al-Khattab (r) mentioned to the Messenger of Allah (sa)that he becomes junub at night. The Messenger of Allah (sa) said to him:
"Perform ablution and wash
your private parts, then go to sleep."
(Sahih al-Bukhari 286 and Sahih
Muslim 306)
With the exception of the
isolated position of a handful of scholars, such as Dawud al-Zahiri and Ibn al-Habib
al-Maliki, the general body of scholars (jumhur) hold that performing
ablution before going to sleep is recommended, not obligatory. In other words,
one would be rewarded for performing ablution but not sinful for omitting it.
This is supported by the
narration recorded by Imam Ibn Khuzayma and Imam Ibn Hibban in their respective
Salah collections that 'Umar ibn al-Khattab (r) asked the Messenger of Allah (sa): "Can any
one of us sleep while in a state of major ritual impurity?" He replied:
''Yes, he may sleep, and
perform ablution if he so wishes." (Sahih Ibn Khuzayma 211 )
Likewise, the hadith of Sayyida
'A'isha (r) quoted earlier that "the Messenger
of Allah (sa)'' would sleep while in a state of major ritual impurity without
touching water" is a proof that performing an ablution is not obligatory.
Imam Nawawi states, "It is recommended to perform ablution and wash one's
private parts before these matters [i.e. sleeping, eating, drinking and the
like] [ ... ] Our scholars have clearly stated that it is [somewhat] disliked
to sleep, eat, drink and have sex before performing ablution, and these hadiths
would indicate that. However, there is no difference of opinion according to us
that this performing of ablution is not obligatory (wajib). This is the
opinion of Imam Malik and the majority of scholars ... " (Al-Minhaj
Sharh Sahiih Muslim P: 372)
c) If one is unable to perform
a ritual ablution, one should at least clean and wash one's private parts, as
mentioned in the hadith of 'Umar ibn al-Khattab (r) recorded by Imam Bukhari . This is the last of the three stages.
However, in this case also, there is no sin for not washing one's private
parts, since it is reported that the Messenger of Allah (sa) retired to bed
''without touching water".
In conclusion, there are three
stages here:
The optimum is to perform the ritual bath and then sleep;
if that
is not possible, a ritual ablution should be performed; and
if that is not
possible, one should at least wash one's private parts.
However, if none of the
above three actions are performed, one will still not be guilty of committing a
sin.
