He is attracted to beardless youths; how can he rid himself of this sickness?
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Firstly:
Remember that this is one of the most serious of problems,
and that it may lead a person to doom. It may affect his mind and make him
go insane, or it may affect his physical health and make him ill, or it may
affect his religious commitment and cause him to be doomed, and lead him to
a bad end. So beware of continuing with this and strive hard, seeking the
help of your Lord, to rid yourself of this evil inclination, and look at
those who have been affected by this so that you may learn a lesson from
them.
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
It is narrated that a man fell in love with someone and
became totally infatuated with him, and that love became deeply rooted in
his heart until he fell ill, and took to his bed because of it, and that
person tried to keep away from him and felt great resentment towards him.
Intermediaries kept going between them until he promised to visit him. The
sick man was told of that and he rejoiced greatly and his anxiety was
dispelled, and he began to look forward to the appointment that had been
set. Whilst he was like that, the intermediary came and said: He came part
way with me then he went back, but I encouraged him and spoke to him, and he
said: He remembered me, and rejoiced about me, but I will not enter because
I will not expose myself to accusations. I tried to change his mind but he
insisted, and left. When the sick man heard that, he was filled with despair
and became worse than he had been before, and appeared to be in the throes
of death, and he started saying:
Your pleasure is dearer to my heart than the mercy of the
Almighty, the Creator
I said: O So and so, fear Allaah. He said: This is how I
feel.
I got up and left, and I had barely passed through the door
when I heard the cry of death.
Allaah forbid that we should meet with a bad end.
End quote.
Al-Jawaab al-Kaafi (p.
117)
What do you think? Would a wise Muslim want to die as that
sick lover died, who gave precedence to the pleasure of his beloved over the
pleasure of His Creator Who created him and formed him and granted him
provision and guided him to Islam, and bestowed upon him blessings both
apparent and invisible? If you say that you would not want that – which is
what we think you would say – then you should know that you are travelling
the same path as him and that there may befall you what befell him, if you
do not check yourself.
Remember that this is the path that was first travelled by
the people of Loot, namely the love of beardless youths, then Allaah
punished them in a way that no nation has been punished before or since.
Allaah turned their houses upside down and caused the earth to swallow them
up, and He pelted them with stones and took away their sight.
Secondly:
Secondly:
Remember that there are causes for this calamity, and these
causes are things that the afflicted person has brought upon himself. The
one who wants to be saved from his predicament must look at these causes and
rid himself of them, otherwise he will be content with his situation and
unwilling to change it for something that is better. These causes may
include the following:
1 – Weakness of faith and lack of love for Allaah in one’s
heart, and a lack of fear of His punishment.
2 – Looking freely at beardless youths, and enjoying their
beauty and appearance.
This is the first route that the affected person takes to
sin. His Lord has commanded him to lower his gaze and avoid looking at
haraam things, and his Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) has enjoined him likewise. If he ignores the command and does that
which is forbidden, then Iblees has shot his poisoned arrow into his heart,
and finished him off. moral
actions.
3 – Falling short with regard to obligatory and naafil acts
of worship
If the person who is afflicted with this problem prays on
time, fulfilling the conditions and obligatory parts of prayer, that will be
a deterrent that keeps him from falling into evil and immoral ways. Allaah
says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Verily, As‑Salaah (the prayer) prevents from Al‑Fahsha’
(i.e. great sins of every kind, unlawful sexual intercourse) and Al‑Munkar
(i.e. disbelief, polytheism, and every kind of evil wicked deed)”
[al-‘Ankaboot 29:45]
So how about if he regularly performs sunnah and naafil
prayers?
4 – Forsaking the Qur’aan and failing to read books about the
lives of righteous men and the imams
The Book of Allaah contains guidance, light and healing; it
is the best protection for the Muslim against falling into sin and it is the
best remedy for the one who does fall into sin.
If he reads books about the imams and biographies of the
scholars, he can take them as an example and become familiar with their
stories and rise above immorality and evil.
5 – Falling short in seeking knowledge
Knowledge is light, through which one may know what is halaal
and do it, and what is haraam and avoid it. Through it he may come to know
his Lord, may He be exalted, and His names, attributes and deeds. That will
generate in his heart a sense of shyness before his Lord and shyness before
His angels, so that he will not want to commit evil and immoral actions.
Through knowledge he will come to know the state of sinners and the
punishment that Allaah has prepared for them.
6 – A lot of spare time in the lives of those who have this
problem
If they kept themselves busy with acts of worship, sport,
permissible actions and seeking knowledge, they would not have time to spend
in thinking of haraam things, let alone doing them.
7 – Making friends and keeping company with bad people
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
likened the bad friend to one who works the bellows: he will either burn his
companion’s clothes or he will notice a bad smell coming from him.
8 – Not getting married
Allaah has created natural desires in man, and He has made
the outlet for that in women. The permissible way to do that is marriage.
The one who goes against his natural state (fitrah) and diverts that desire
towards other males like him, is even lower than the animals, for the
animals that Allaah has created are in front of us, and do we ever see any
male mounting another male?
Thirdly:
The one who wants to deal with his problem and rid himself of
it should look for the reasons why he has fallen into the haraam actions of
looking, mixing and keeping company with beardless youths, and rid himself
of them by giving them up. Trying to treat the problem without addressing
the causes of sickness is a remedy that is doomed to failure and will never
succeed. There follow some treatment methods for the one who wants to rid
himself of this problem and try to free himself from the trap of the
shaytaan, and seek the pleasure of Allaah. These include:
1 – Strengthening one’s faith by means of acts of worship,
including fasting, filling one’s heart with love of Allaah, and fearing His
punishment.
2 – Preventing oneself from looking at beardless youths with
or without desire, and not keeping company with them or sitting with them at
all, and not being alone with them, even for teaching Qur’aan.
3 – Praying regularly and on time, and being keen to do
regular Sunnah and naafil prayers.
4 – Reciting a portion of Qur’aan regularly, and reciting the
adhkaars for morning and evening, and reading about the lives and
biographies of the imams.
5 – Seeking knowledge by reading, listening and watching.
This is something that is required of every Muslim.
6 – Filling one’s time with acts of worship and obedience,
and that which will be of benefit in one's spiritual and worldly affairs.
7 – Shunning bad company and looking for righteous friends to
stay close to and benefit from their knowledge and good attitude.
8 – Seeking to get married straight away, to satisfy one’s
desires in a permissible manner.
9 – Seeking the help of Allaah by calling upon Him and asking
Him to save him from this sickness and calamity.
10 – Thinking about those who have fallen into this haraam
kind of love and what it has led to, such as insanity, sickness and apostasy
– Allaah forbid.
For more information please see the answer to question no.
27176.
And Allaah knows best.
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