FOREWORD
In The Name of ALLAH, Most
Compassionate, Most Merciful.
All
praise is for Allah Most High, Lord of the worlds. And may peace and blessings
be upon His beloved Messenger Muhammad, a Mercy to the worlds, and upon his
entire family, his Companions and the righteous ones who follow in their
footsteps until the Day of judgment.
In
answering questions from the public over the past five years or so, I have come
across many individuals who desire to know the Islamic ruling on matters of
sexual intimacy between spouses. Aided by the relative anonymity of email as a
medium of communication, questioners have opened up and began to pose frank
questions courageously without being shy and without the fear of being humiliated.
The
prevalence and variety of these questions led me to keep records of them, and
it quickly became evident that many Muslims are unaware of the Islamic laws and
etiquettes pertaining to sexual relations. Many desire to live their conjugal
lives in harmony with Islamic teachings and have a genuine inclination to
learn, but are prevented by the embarrassment of asking a scholar directly. I
realised that there is real need for a comprehensive work on the subject if
Muslims are to live their lives in conformity with the teachings of the Qur'an
and Sunna. Owing to this great need, and the significance of the issue for
married couples, I began preparing a detailed and comprehensive work - often referring
to the notes taken of the questions posed to me - the result of which is in
your hands, Al-Hamdulilliih.
This
book approaches the issue of sexual relations head on to apprise married
couples of the teachings of Allah Most High and His beloved Messenger's on this subject, allowing them to enjoy their union
while receiving divine reward in doing so.
What are the correct intentions behind sexual relations?
What are couples allowed to do and what must they avoid?
How does one prepare for sexual relations?
What are the rules and etiquettes of foreplay, sex itself and the moments after sex?
What is the ideal way of spending the first night of marriage?
These are just a few of the questions answered in this book. In addition, many modern issues such as bondage, cross-dressing, using sex aids, watching pornography, oral sex and phone sex will be discussed exhaustively in light of the teachings of the Qur'an, Sunna, reference works from the four Sunni Schools of Islamic law, and other works of classical and contemporary scholars.
What are the correct intentions behind sexual relations?
What are couples allowed to do and what must they avoid?
How does one prepare for sexual relations?
What are the rules and etiquettes of foreplay, sex itself and the moments after sex?
What is the ideal way of spending the first night of marriage?
These are just a few of the questions answered in this book. In addition, many modern issues such as bondage, cross-dressing, using sex aids, watching pornography, oral sex and phone sex will be discussed exhaustively in light of the teachings of the Qur'an, Sunna, reference works from the four Sunni Schools of Islamic law, and other works of classical and contemporary scholars.
It
begins with an introduction outlining the importance of the subject at hand and
my approach to it. Thereafter, the book is divided into various chapters that
take an aspect of sexual behaviour and explore it in some depth. To further the
benefit of the book, references for all the quotes have been provided, citing
volume, page or hadith numbers. Similarly, notes explaining key terms and
concepts have been included wherever necessary. The book ends with a
conclusion, a detailed bibliography and an index of terminologies used and
personalities quoted.
I
thank Allah Most High for giving me the ability and strength to prepare this
work. I am grateful to my parents, teachers, family and friends, all of whom,
although they had no hand in any of the actual stages of producing this work,
without their love, support and prayers for me, I am doubtful whether I would
be able to compile this work.
May Allah reward them
accordingly, Ameen.
I
am grateful to Shaykh Mufti Zubair Bayat (may Allah preserve him) of Durban,
South America, who, despite his extremely busy schedule, spared time to review
the entire manuscript, and provided important corrections and suggestions. May
Allah reward him, give him Baraka in his time, and bless him in this world and
the next. I am also indebted to brother Yahya at Turath Publications, whose
constant encouragement and resolve kept me on my toes. May Allah accept his
efforts in his desire and pursuit to produce high quality Islamic works, Ameen.
I
also extend my appreciation to anyone else who may have helped me in any way.
The absence of their names here in no way undermines their contribution. Their
reward is with Allah, and His reward surpasses any gratitude that I may offer:
"Indeed, what is with Allah is better for you, if only you were to
know." (Qur'an 16:95)
I
have tried my utmost best to clarify and systematically explain matters
concerning the sexual relationship of a husband and wife. If I have done some
good, it is from Allah Most High, and if I have erred, then it is from me and
the whisperings of Satan. I pray, and I ask the readers to pray, that Allah
forgive me and overlook my shortcomings, and make this work purely for His
sake, Ameen.
And
the last of our prayers is, "Praise be to Allah, Lord of the Worlds."
Mul).ammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari
Darul Iftaa, Leicester, UK
January q, 2OO8 CE I Muharram 7, 1429 AH
PREFACE BY MUFTI ZUBAIR BAYAT
I congratulate the author,
Mufti Mubammad ibn Adam (hafizahullah), for this excellent work on a rather sensitive but much required
subject. The author, a young, dynamic and promising Islamic scholar, has put tremendous
effort into conducting meticulous research in preparation of this book, which
is well annotated with references and footnotes.
Some
years ago, having noticed a need for good, authentic material on the subject in
the English language, I penned a concise work titled, "Etiquettes of
sexual relations", which has gone through dozens of prints to date,
Al-hamdulillah.
Now,
Mufti Mubammad has in a very lucid and clear manner, prepared a detailed work
on the subject. It covers many contemporary issues, including current sexual
practices, and the Islamic rulings on them. I have had the opportunity to
review this work, and to offer suggestions, which the author graciously
accepted.
I
have found this work to be beneficial and highly informative, and strongly
recommend any prospective couple, and indeed any couple, to study this book.
May
the Almighty crown his efforts with success and acceptance and may he continue
to serve the Ummah with his scholastic abilities.
Mufti Zubair Bayat
Director: Darul Ihsan Centre
Durban, South Mrica
To Be Continued....
