1) Secrets of Sexual Relations
Allah Most High has made the
husband and wife garments for one another, for He Most High says:
"It is made lawful for you, in the
nights of fasts, to have sex with your women. They are your garments and you
are their garments ...”
(Qur'an 2:187)
It is known that if a garment
is not long, complete or loose-fitting, and not free of holes and tears, it is
not fit to cover one's nakedness. In a similar manner, the spouses are garments
for one another, and if they fail to conceal each other's secrets, they will
not be fulfilling their duties. Marital relationships are based on trust and
secrecy, and as such, each spouse is duty-bound to conceal matters that are
revealed to them by their spouse under this trust.
Concealing secrets is more
important when it comes to intimate issues. It is categorically forbidden (haram) for the husband and wife to reveal their sexual
secrets to others. It is a shameful and sinful practice that has been emphatically
condemned by the Messenger of Allah (sa). SayyidunaAba Sa'id al-Khudri (r) relates that the Messenger of Allah (sa) said:
"The most evil of people
in the sight of Allah on the Day of Judgment is the man who has sex with his
wife and she has sex with him, then he reveals her secret."
(Sahih Muslim 1437)
The warning against revealing
sexual secrets is not only for men, but rather it includes women too. It is
unlawful to discuss with others what takes place in the bedroom. Sexual matters
are private and must remain that way. Sharing them brings such thoughts to the
minds of others, potentially leading to fornication of the heart. It is also a
means of harming one's spouse, as he or she would not want details of their sexual
behaviour revealed to others.
''We, as men and women, were
sitting in the company of the Messenger of Allah (sa). The Messenger of Allah (sa) said, "May a man be talking [with others] about what goes on
between him and his wife, and may a woman be talking [with others] about what
she does with her husband?" The people remained quiet and did not answer.
So I said, ''Yes, by Allah, O Messenger of Allah! The men do that, and the
women do that too." He said, "Do not do that, because doing that is
like a male devil (shaytan) meeting a female devil (shaytana) in
the middle of a road, and having sex with her whilst people are watching."
(Al-Mu'jam al-Kalar of Tabarani 24: 162-163. A similar report is
recorded in Sunan Abi Dawud and Musnad Ahmad)
A tendency exists in some
people to relate graphic details of their sexual encounters to friends. Some
men boast about their performance in bed and what their wives do with them,
whilst some women enjoy boasting about their sexual relationship with their
husbands. The above hadiths should suffice in deterring such people. They
should realize that they are answerable to Allah Most High on the Day of
judgement, and must completely shun such shameless behaviour. This prohibition
of revealing intimate secrets pertains to normal situations. However, if there
is a genuine need to discuss one's marital affairs, such as when seeking
religious guidance or counselling, or when one is a victim of injustice and is
complaining to those in authority, then the prohibition is suspended. However,
in this case too, graphic details that do not need to be mentioned must not be
disclosed. (See: Al-Minhaj Shari} Sahih Muslim, commentary on hadith
1437)
To Be Continued....
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