READ DISCLAIMER BEFORE PROCEEDING
FORMS OF FOREPLAY
1) Kissing
-6- FOREPLAY
ONCE A COUPLE are
psychologically and physically prepared and in the mood for sex, the union
should begin with foreplay. Foreplay comprises all the sexual activity that
precedes actual penetration. Verbal expressions of love and desire that the
couple exchange between each other are included in this; however, this section
will only examine the physical aspects of foreplay.
IMPORTANCE OF FOREPLAY
Engaging in foreplay is
immensely important and a vital constituent of a happy marriage, and as a
consequence, it should never be disregarded. Both spouses should take the means
to arouse one another, as it will result in a more pleasurable union.
Although foreplay is important
for both spouses, it is of greater importance for the husband to sexually
arouse his wife before having sex. Women generally take longer to become fully
sexually aroused. If the husband has sex with her when she is unprepared, he
may fulfil his need, but not hers. This will result in the wife becoming
frustrated and is detrimental to the marriage.
The husband should take his
time in arousing his wife. Only when he sees that she is ready, prepared, and
desirous of him, should he engage in having sex. It is egotism on the husband's part to fulfil his own sexual need and
leave his wife unsatisfied and discontented. Husbands like this do not truly
love their wives, but are only concerned about their own gratification.
The Messenger of Allah (sa) also encouraged foreplay between the spouses.
Sayyiduna Jabir ibn 'Abdillah (r) relates:
"I was in the company of
the Messenger of Allah (sa) in a battle ... The Messenger of Allah (sa) said [to me], "Did you marry?" I answered,
''Yes." He said, "A virgin or a non-virgin?" I said, "A non-virgin."
He said, "Why not a virgin so that you may play with her and she may play
with you? ... "
(Sahih al-Bukhar'i 1991)
Imam Tirmidhi reports with his
own chain of transmission to the Messenger of Allah (sa) that he said:
" ... Every game a Muslim
plays is futile (batih except for archery, training one's horse and playing with one's
wife, for they are from praiseworthy acts." ( Sunan al- Tirmidhi 1637,
Sunan Ibn Majah 2 81 1 and Musnad Ahmad 17433, the wording is of Tirmidhi)
[Note- This hadith does not
in any way conclude that one should not marry non-virgins. The Messenger of
Allah (sa) himself married many non-virgin women. His beloved first wife
Sayyida Khadija (r) was not only a non-virgin, but much older than him too. As such,
there is nothing wrong whatsoever Islamically in marrying non-virgin women and
widows. In this hadith, the Messenger of Allah (sa) was addressing the issue from another angle. This is why, in the
narration of Sahih Muslim (715), Sayyiduna Jabir (r) said to the Messenger of Allah (sa) "I have sisters; so I was afraid that she [a
non-virgin woman] might come between me and them, whereupon he (sa) said, "Well and good, if that is so. A woman is
married for her religion, her wealth and her beauty. So you should choose one
with religion, may your hands cleave to dust." ]
Imam Ghazali in his Ihya'
'Ulum al-D'in and Imam Daylami in his Musnad al-Firdaws both record
a narration on the authority of Sayyiduna Anas ibn Malik (r) that the Messenger of Allah (sa) is reported to have said,
"None of you should come
onto his wife like an animal; but rather there should be between them a
messenger. It was said, "What is the messenger O Prophet of Allah? He
replied, "[Foreplay of] kissing and words." (Ithaf al-Sadat
al-Muttaq'in bi Shari}, Ihya'' Ulum al-D'in 6:175, with a weak chain of
transmission)
Imam Ibn al-Qayyim al-Jawziyya
mentions that Sayyiduna Jabir ibn 'Abdillah (r) is reported to have said, ''The Messenger of Allah (sa) forbade from engaging in sex before foreplay." (Al-Tibb
al-Nabawi 181, with a weak chain of transmission. Imam Ibn Qudama, the renowned Hanbali
jurist, mentions a narration in which the Messenger of Allah (sa) is reported to have said,
"Do not begin intercourse
until she has experienced desire like the desire you experience, lest you
fulfil your desires before she does." (Al Mughni 8:136)
The above few narrations
express the importance of foreplay between the spouses. Not only did the
Messenger of Allah
(sa) encourage foreplay, but he
engaged in it with his wives, as it will become evident from some of the
narrations mentioned later.
Imam Ibn al-Qayyim states that
foreplay with the wife should precede sex - foreplay through kissing and
sucking on her tongue, for the Messenger of Allah (sa) would engage in foreplay with his wife and kiss her.
(Al-Tibb al-Nabawi P: 180)
Imam Munaw'i states,
"Foreplay and passionate kissing before sex is an emphatic Sunna (sunna
mu'akkada), and it is disliked (makruh) to do otherwise." (Fayd
al-Qadir Sharh al-Jami' al-Saghir 5:115)
Some regard practices
associated with foreplay to be inappropriate and contrary to religious
propriety. For them, it is piety to abstain from these activities, but this is
completely erroneous, for who can possibly be more pious, pure and God-fearing
than the Messenger of Allah (sa)? Yet not only did he encourage foreplay, but he engaged in it with
his wives. Abstinence from such activities is not a sign of piety, as there is no
monasticism (rabbaniyya) in Islam. Islam is a practical religion which allows
its followers to fulfil their sexual needs in a lawful manner.
FORMS OF FOREPLAY
1) Kissing
2) Massaging and Caressing
3) Body Contact
To Be Continued....
No comments:
Post a Comment