Etiquettes - Islamic Guide To Sexual Relations

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ACTUAL PLAY

1) Privacy

2) Covering up the Qur'an

One of the etiquettes of sexual relations is to cover up or put away copies of the Qur'an, verses of the Qur'an hanging on the wall and other Islamic literature such as hadith collections and books consisting of invocations (du' a and adhkar), if possible, without undue hardship.

There is no sin, however, for not doing so.

Imam Haskafi states in his Al-Durr al-Mukhtar, 'There is nothing wrong with having sex in a room in which there is a copy of the Qur'an, because it is generally difficult to avoid." In his commentary of the above text, Ibn 'Abidin states, however, that it is superior to cover up the Qur'an. (Radd al-Mu/J,tar 'ala 'l-Durral-Mukhtar 6:42 3)

3) Reciting the Supplication (du'a)

One of the objectives of sexual relations is to produce pious and righteous offspring. As such, it is important that the couple supplicate to Allah Most High before commencing sex, asking Him to keep Satan away from themselves and their potential offspring.  Sayyiduna 'Abdullah ibn Abbas (r) relates that the Messenger of Allah (sa) said:

"When approaching one's spouse, if one says, "In the name of Allah. O Allah! Protect us from Satan and protect what you grant us [i.e. the coming offspring] from Satan" then if it is destined that they have a child from that intercourse, Satan will never be  able to harm it."  

(Sahih al-Bukhar'i 141 & Sahih Muslim 1434, the wording is of Muslim)

Thus, it is recommended prior to penetration for both spouses to first pronounce the name of Allah Most High saying: (Transliteration)

Bismillah

In the name of Allah

Or

Bismillah ar-rahman ar-rahim

In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful.

Thereafter, recite the following supplication:

Allahumma jannibnash-shaytan, wa jannibish-shaytana ma razaqtana

O Allah! Protect us from Satan and protect what you grant us from Satan.

It is important to recite the above-mentioned supplication (du'a), since firstly, it is from the guidance given to us by the Messenger of Allah (sa) and secondly, one's potential offspring may not be saved from the evils of Satan if the Du' a is disregarded.

4) Avoiding Facing the Qibla

One of the etiquettes of sexual relations is to avoid facing the direction of the Qibla, because one's nakedness is normally exposed in such a state. Imam Ibn 'Abidin of the Banafi School, Imam Ghazali of the Shafi'i School and Imam Ibn Qudama of the Hanbali School all mention that it is somewhat disliked (makruh tanz'ih) to face the Qibla whilst having sex [although not sinful].

Imam Ibn Qudama states, "One should not face the Qibla during sex, for Amr ibn Hazm and 'Ata' both disliked it". (Al-Mughn'i 8:136, also see: Radd al-Muh,tar 1:341 and lthaf al-Sadat al-Muttaq'in bi Sharh Ihya" Ulilm al-D'in 6:1 74)

5) Talking During Sex

Talking during foreplay is not only permitted, but rather encouraged, as outlined previously. It is recommended that both spouses exchange kind words that express their love, longing and desire for one another. There is nothing wrong even if both spouses use sexually arousing language during foreplay, provided there is nothing specifically wrong or sinful in the nature of their conversation and provided others are not able to hear them, as discussed earlier.

As for talking during actual sexual penetration, classical scholars generally state that it is disliked (makruh) to do so excessively, because:

a) Sexual relations are based on concealment;

b) The Messenger of Allah (sa) commanded for proper manners to be observed during sex, whilst excessive talking is contrary to proper manners, and;

c) It is similar to when one is in the toilet or bathroom where talking is Makruh due to one's nakedness being exposed. (See: Radd al-Muhtar 6:418 & Al-Mughni 8:136)

Having said the above, the renowned Hanafi jurist of recent times in the Subcontinent, Shaykh Mufti Muhammad Shafi' (may Allah have mercy on him) states that talking during sex is disliked when it is with others. As far as the couple talking with each other, there is nothing wrong with that. (lmdad al-Muftin P: 1032)

Source: Islamic Guide To Sexual Relations

To Be Continued....