Lady Khadijah bint Khuwaylid
Finding Comfort in Love
The Prophet's First Marriage
Prophet Muhammad's marriage to lady Khadija was a true blessing
as she used to comfort him in the face of any hardship and she was the first
love of his life.
When Muhammad (peace be upon him) reached twenty, a new
stage in his life was starting. His noble birth, strong character and physical
strength would surely have put him on the road to prosperity. There are reports
suggesting that in his old age Muhammad was endowed with exceptional strength.
In his youth, he must have been full of vigor and ability.
Combining this with his well-known honesty and wisdom
which belied his years in addition to his fine character, it was only to be
expected that if he aspired to any material achievement in his society he would
have been certain to achieve it.
Muhammad, however, continued to set for himself a high
code of honor. The strength of his character and his keen sense of morality
provided a balancing factor for his physical desire. He was able to control
that desire with wisdom and spiritual strength.
Moreover, he was fast acquiring a reputation for
meticulous honesty. Indeed, he was called by his society "Al-Ameen,"
which meant the "trustworthy and honest one."
Searching for Employment
Material gain did not seem to tempt him in any way. He did
not despise wealth, nor did he seek any vain ideals. He only had a fine sense
of proportion. He realized that wealth was not an end in itself. It was a means
to a higher end.
Hence he approached the task of searching for a new
occupation with seriousness and dignity. It as soon decided that he should try
to find employment in trade and business.
Muhammad had no money of his own to establish a business,
nor was Abu Talib, his uncle, a man of affluence to provide him with a good
start. The only option left for him, therefore, was to prove himself as an
agent, trading on someone else's behalf. Apparently, he had no difficulty in
securing such a position, because of his rapidly growing reputation for honesty
and sound character. It is not absolutely certain for whom Muhammad was working
as agent in those early years.
A Business Arrangement
He is reported to have said later that she was a very
kind employer.
It is reasonable, however, to assume that it was Khadijah bint
khuwaylid, a rich widow, who had the benefit of his valuable services. She was
later to send him on a trade mission to Syria with a great quantity of goods.
Probably she would not have done that without trying him first in the local
markets.
He is reported to have said later that she was a very kind
employer. Every time he and his partner went to see her, she offered them
something to eat. Muhammad gained a great deal of experience in business in his
early twenties. He was working on commission. Khadijah, however, paid him more
than she paid her other agents. She realized that she had working for her a man
who combined honesty and integrity with a keen eye for business.
Her admiration for Muhammad was increasing all the time.
She wanted to retain his services, and she felt that the only way to do that
was to increase his income. He, however, showed no sign of the greed normally
shown by people in his position. Khadijah, being a wealthy widow, received one
marriage proposal after another. She realized, however, that it was her money
that tempted her suitors. Hence she declined as many proposals as she received.
Her business association with Muhammad, however, made her
recognize that there was a man for whom money was not the greatest priority.
She began to think of him in a different light.
A Marriage Proposal
she felt that it was now up to her to take the next step
Khadijah was a woman of great intelligence and noble birth.
She had a strong character and she like to act in any matter only after she had
looked at it carefully from all angles.
Apparently, she consulted one or two of her trusted
relatives, who praised Muhammad highly. One of those was Waraqah ibn Nawfal, an
old uncle of hers, who recognized that Muhammad was destined to have a very
important future. Khadijah had long resolved that she would choose her future
husband when she was absolutely certain of his character. Looking at her
dealings with Muhammad, she felt that it was now up to her to take the next
step.
Khadijah sent a close friend of hers, Nufaysah, to make an
indirect approach to Muhammad. When she met him she said: "Muhammad, what
is keeping you from getting married?"
He answered: "I do not have enough to meet the
expense of my marriage."
She said: "What if you are not called upon to meet
such expenses? What would you say to a woman of beauty, wealth and position who
is willing to marry you? Would you marry her?"
He said: "Who is that woman?"
She answered: "Khadijah."
He asked: "Who can arrange such a marriage for
me?"
She said: "Leave that to me."
His response was: "I will do it, willingly."
The First Marriage
I admire you because of your good position among your
people, your honesty and good manners
When Khadijah was sure of Muhammad's reaction, she sent
him a message asking him to come and see her. She said to him:
"Cousin, (she used this term in the widest sense,
since she was a very distant cousin of Muhammad. Their ancestry did not join until
the fifth grandparent.) I admire you because of your good position among your
people, your honesty and good manners, and because you are a man of your
word."
She then made her proposal that they should get married.
Muhammad was very pleased and went to inform his uncles, who were also very
pleased with such a marriage. Muhammad went with his uncles to meet Khadijah's
uncle. Abu Talib, the Prophet's uncle, spoke on behalf of his nephew. He said:
"This nephew of mine, Muhammad ibn Abdullah, is
without peers in his nobility of character and descent. If he is not wealthy,
wealth is only something accidental. Money comes and goes, and many a wealthy
man becomes poor. He will certainly have a great future. He is proposing
marriage to your honorable daughter, Khadijah. He is giving her a dowry of such
and such."
Khadijah's uncle did not hesitate to make his acceptance clear. The marriage was then concluded at a dowry of 20 young camels.
25 Happy Years
He was a most caring and loving husband
who attended to
his family duties...
It was a happy marriage. Most biographers of the Prophet
put his age at 25, saying that Khadijah was 40. Some reports suggest that the
Prophet was nearer 30. Khadijah on the other hand, was reported to have been
35, or even 25. In view of the fact that she gave Muhammad six children, the
report which allots her a younger age seems more accurate.
Abdullah ibn Abbas, the Prophet's cousin, who is
considered to have been the most learned among the companions of the Prophet,
states that she was 28 and not a day older.
Whatever their respective ages, Muhammad was to spend 25 happy
years with Khadijah. The marriage gave Khadijah a man whom she could love,
respect and trust. He was a most caring and loving husband who attended to his
family duties with his customary seriousness. She gave him four daughters and
two sons.
Although polygamy was the normal practice in Arabia,
Muhammad did not have a second wife while Khadijah was alive. The marriage gave
Muhammad a settled life, but the real benefit of marrying Khadijah was not
fully apparent until after he began to receive his revelations and face
opposition to his message from all quarters.
At that time, Khadijah's support was most valuable to
Muhammad. She stood by his side, reassuring him and giving him all the comfort
he needed. No matter how great his trouble when he called on his people to
accept Islam, the moment he went home he was certain of a comforting welcome
from his wife.
Long after her death, and when he had married several
other wives, the Prophet continued to cherish Khadijah's memory. Khadijah gave
birth first to a boy who was named Al-Qasim. Four daughters then followed, named
Zainab, Ruqayyah, Umm Kulthum and Fatimah. Abdullah was the last child to be born
to Khadijah.
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