READ DISCLAIMER BEFORE PROCEEDING
-9- AFTER PLAY
ISLAMIC TEACHINGS WITH regard
to sexual relations do not end at the termination of intercourse between the
spouses, they go much beyond that. The time after having sex, which could be
termed as "after play", is as important as foreplay and sex itself.
There are many important rulings and etiquettes that need to kept in mind in
this regard.
1)
Being Affectionate
After achieving sexual climax,
both spouses should remain in their positions for a while before separating
from one another. Islam teaches couples to be considerate and compassionate to
one another at all times, and not only whilst having sex. A husband who is
insensitive and unresponsive after sex will appear to his wife as though his
interest in her is only in sexual gratification. As such, he should ensure that
there are kind and affectionate exchanges, even after having sex.
2)
Cleanliness and Purification
After having sex, both spouses
should clean their genital areas with clean pieces of cloth or tissue. If they
had placed a sheet or cloth below them before having sex, which is recommended,
that may be used in cleaning themselves, otherwise a separate cloth may be
used.
Imam Ibn Qudama states in his Al-Mughn'i, "It is recommended (mustahab) for the wife to keep a piece of
cloth with her that her husband can use after having sex and wipe himself with
it, as Sayyida 'A'isha (r) said: "An astute woman should keep a piece of cloth with her. After her husband
has sex with her, she should give it to him, so that he may wipe himself and
she may wipe herself with it." (Al-Mughni" 8: 136)
Cleanliness after sex is of
utmost importance. Some Muslim couples are extremely negligent in this regard,
ignoring the fact that their bed-sheet and clothes may have become impure. It is strongly encouraged to lay a separate sheet of
clothing specifically for sex, which can be put in the washing afterwards. If
sexual fluids have come into contact with one's clothes or body parts, they must
be purified with water before praying, otherwise, one's prayer will be invalid.
The bedding should also be changed after having sex if sexual fluids have come
into contact with it.
Couples need to remember that
pre-ejaculatory fluid (madhy) is impure according to all the classical
scholars. Madhy is "A thin white fluid that exits without force
from a man or woman when sexually aroused but is not accompanied by an
ejaculation". It can often be released without one being aware of it, and is more
prevalent in women than men. Madhy only necessitates a ritual ablution (wudu) but is legally considered impure (najis), and so has to
be washed if one's body or clothing is affected by it. Imam Nawawi: states that
the whole Muslim Umma are in unanimous agreement that Madhy is
impure. (See: Hashiya al-Tahtawi 'ala Maraqi al-Falah P:100, Al-Majmil'
Sharh al-Muhadhdhab 2:395 & Al-Mughni 1:162)
As far as semen (many) is
concerned, it is defined with respect to men as "A thick white fluid that
gushes out with force from the penis causing it to slacken and reduce in
size." With respect to women, it is the thin and yellow ejaculatory fluid.
Many is the fluid with which Allah Most High Creates human beings. Allah
Most High says:
"Does man think that he
will be left unchecked? Was he not an ejaculated drop of semen (many)? Then
he became a clot of blood, then He [Allah] Created [him] and made [him]
perfect, and of him He made two sexes, male and female. Has He no power [then]
to give life to the dead?"
(Qur'an 75:36-40)
There is a difference of
opinion between classical scholars in regards to whether semen is impure or
not. The Hanafi and Maliki schools consider it impure and require it to be
cleansed from one's body and clothes. Conversely, the Shafi’i School and also
the Hanbali School [according to the more authentic position related from Imam
Ahmad] consider semen to be pure. However, all the Schools agree that the
emission of semen necessitates a ritual bath (ghush for both the man and
the woman. (Tahtaw'i 'ala Maraqi al-Falah P: 96 and Radd al-Muhtar: 312-314 for the Hanafi
School, Al-Majmu' Sharh al-Muhadhdhab 1:395-396 for the Shafi'i School, Al-Mughni
1:197 & 1:735 for the Hanball School, and Hashiya al-Dasuqi 'ala
'l-Sharh, al-Kabir 1:92 for the Maliki’ School
3) Urinating
It is recommended from a medical point of view to
urinate after having sex. This allows
the remaining drops of semen to
come out of one's system. One should avoid using exceedingly cold water when
washing the private parts, since this can be harmful. (See: Ihya' 'Ulum
al-Din with its commentary lthaf al-Sadat al-Mattaqin 6: 184, and Adab-e-Mubashrat
P:28)
To Be Continued....
Advice For Men- How To Keep A Women Happy
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