READ DISCLAIMER BEFORE PROCEEDING
-8- OTHER FORMS OF SEX
-8- OTHER FORMS OF SEX
2) Oral Sex
The spread of pornography has
increased the prevalence of oral sex, and it is now commonly practiced by many
couples. Muslims are frequently asking about the Islamic viewpoint on oral sex.
Unfortunately, some people shy away from discussing this matter altogether,
while others regard any discussion of it to be offensive. Both these approaches are incorrect. In order to
ensure that one's sex life is in harmony with Islamic teachings, it is important
to discuss the Islamic perspective on oral sex in detail.
Oral sex is the use of the
mouth or the tongue to stimulate another person's genitals. Oral stimulation of
the male organ is called fellatio, whilst oral stimulation of the female
genitalia is known as cunnilingus. The term oral sex covers a wide range of
activities, from simply kissing the genitalia to the actual taking in and
swallowing of sexual fluids. As such, the Islamic ruling will depend on what
exactly is entailed by this term.
a) If oral sex entails
inserting the penis into the wife's mouth to the extent that she swallows or
takes impure or filthy substances such as semen (many) or
pre-ejaculatory fluid (madhy) into the mouth, or the husband placing
his mouth onto the wife's vagina to the point that he takes her discharge in
his mouth, then this is sinful. If there is fear of this, and this fear is at
the level of likelihood, then it is also impermissible.
It is unlawful to intentionally swallow filthy and
impure substances or to introduce them into the mouth. This includes all male
and female genital excretions and sexual fluids such as urine, pre-ejaculatory
fluid, semen and wady, a thick white, cloudy, fluid that exits either
before or after urinating. Even though semen is not considered impure according
to some scholars, for example the Shafi'is, contrary to the Hanafis, they
nevertheless hold its oral intake to be prohibited. As such, swallowing or
consuming all forms of sexual fluids of the wife or husband is forbidden.
Imam Nawawi of the Shafi’i
school states in his Al-Majmu': 'The correct well-known opinion is that
it is forbidden to consume semen because it is filthy (mustakhbath), [even
though not impure]. Allah Most High says: "
... And He (Allah Most High) makes unlawful for them filthy things (khaba'ith)
[Qur'an 7:157]." (Al-Majmu'
Sharh, al Muhadhdhab 2:397)
b) If oral sex is practiced and
all precautions are taken to prevent sexual fluids from entering the mouth, for
example if the couple are only gently kissing each other's genitalia without
any fear or likelihood of consuming sexual fluids, then it is permitted,
although disliked and improper. It may be considered as a form of foreplay, similar to kissing other
parts of the body and so permitted, but disliked, as placing one's mouth on
one's spouse's genitalia is against religious propriety.
The famous Hanafi Fiqh
reference work, Al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya, states: "If a man inserts
his penis into his wife's mouth, it has been said that it is disliked (makruh),
and others hold that it is not disliked." (Al Fatawa al-Hindiyya 5:372)
This clear passage in one of
the major Hanafi Fiqh reference works indicates that there is a scholarly
difference about the permissibility of a man inserting his penis into his
wife's mouth. According to some scholars it is disliked, whilst others permit
it. It should be remembered that both, those who allow it and those who consider it disliked, stipulate that
no sexual fluids enter the spouse's mouth as mentioned earlier. Normally, this
is difficult to avoid. Because of this, and because it is generally considered
contrary to the proper conduct of a Muslim, most contemporary scholars hold
this practice to be disliked, even if the transfer of sexual fluids is avoided.
The mouth is a noble part of
one's body and is the means of reciting the Qur'an, remembrance of Allah (dhikr)
and sending salutations on the blessed Messenger of Allah (sa) (Salawat). It follows, then, that it is offensive to
use it to stimulate the spouse's genitalia, and unlawful if filth enters the mouth.
Finally, if one's spouse
demands oral sex, it is not obligatory to consent to it, even if precautions are taken to avoid sexual fluids coming into
contact with the mouth. The wife is only obliged to make herself available for
sex, whilst the husband is required to have sex with her enough to maintain her
chastity.
3) Phone Sex with One's Spouse
Phone sex consists of sexual
conversations between two people over the telephone, with the objective of
arousing each other. The point of phone sex is to help the partner in achieving
an orgasm through masturbation. "Phone sex" is frequently put in
quotation marks because sex is usually associated with at least touching each
other. As for the Islamic ruling concerning married couples indulging in phone
sex, there are two situations:
a)
If the objective is to arouse one's spouse and help them
masturbate to the point of having an orgasm, then this is not allowed.
Masturbation is prohibited and causes many personal and societal ills, and as
such, it is not permitted for either spouse to masturbate and play with
themselves during the course of a telephone conversation. It cannot be called mutual masturbation, since this
only occurs when satisfaction is gained through a part of one's spouse's body.
b)
If during a phone conversation, the objective is not to
masturbate, but rather the spouses are merely intimate, then this is permitted.
There is nothing wrong in such intimate conversation taking place between the
spouses whether they are together or apart, provided one does not fear
masturbation or any other unlawful act. If masturbation is avoided, but one
experiences an orgasm by simply talking intimately with one's spouse, then this
also does not seem to fall within the ambit of unlawfulness, provided the
objective was not to masturbate or have an orgasm.
To Be Continued....
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